Thursday, February 16, 2006

   Life's a Butt
Oh, god. I hate my life. Yeah, I have a lot of friends and a mom who love me dearly, but lately I've been nothing but stressed and depressed. I can't find any way of venting out this anger and depression. It's not like I'm going through an artist's block, because, as an artist, I know what they're like and I'd be able to recognize them. This isn't a block. I'm losing interest in drawing, and I don't feel like drawing ANYTHING anymore, and I feel pathetic. I can't draw Chiggi, I can't draw Pagan... I can't even draw my helldog creatures anymore.

It feels like my life is falling apart before my eyes and I feel helpless in doing anything about it. There's all of this pressure around me and I'm expected to remember everything everyone tells me. I hate it, I can't stand it, and yet it continues. In order to keep my mind busy, I have to be busy. I can't be left alone to think about my problems or I break down in a major depression fit, and sadly, it happens very often. I get angry easily, and that I'm ashamed of. I don't like fighting with my friends, but I can't help what I feel and I end up starting arguments. It always happens, and I always feel like shit afterward.

Lately I've discovered I might have dislexia. My one friend has it, and I talked to her about the symptoms and stuff... We have a lot in common. It would explain the many problems I have with speaking, so I decided to live with it.

School is becoming harder, and I'm losing the motivation to go on quite fast. I recently recieved a very low grade in comparison to the ones I normally get, and that really lowered my self-esteem, not to mention stress level. I talked to my Biology teacher about how I should confront my parents with this problem, because they never seem to believe or listen to me. I'm going to work on what I was told, and I hope they work.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing okay, even though some of you are laughing at these issues I have (I've noticed some of the hate-comments I've been previously left, and I say those are having no effect whatsoever on these problems). Yeah... have a good day.

Emoticon (C) deviantart.com
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