Tuesday, May 17, 2005

   Poem #18
Well nothing much here. I'm very sleepy and I have a Chemistry test next. Well here is the poem for today. Here ya go.

Yellow Sand

Everyone's yellow sand is
fading away.
The yellow sand that
is within that glass
ticks away very slowly.
Each day I feel
as though mines is
fading fast.
Becoming distant from
those who love and
care for me as
I am buried under
the yellow sand.
As the days go on,
the sand becomes
heavy and I feel
myself slipping away
from everyone.
Even though the
sand is heavy and
I begin to let go,
you guys will keep
going and I hope
you won't look back.

Um let me see. Yesterday I told you guys about my friend. A lot of people said that that was brave and whatnot. Um I don't think it was bravery or anything it was just me doing what I felt was the best thing for my friend. I mean thats what a good friend is supposed to do right? Well um she told me today that she talked to her bf and she decided not to break up with him. It was a whole lot of miscommunications and all that stuff. And as usual I'm staying out of her business. I mean I stay out of all my friends relationships because its there business. Only way I get involved is if I feel I have to. Well don't have much else to say because I feeling a little down and tired. Some of my friends are seniors and today is their last day at school and I'm really going to miss them. I don't get all emotional because thats not my style. Later.
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Monday, May 16, 2005

Poem #17
Well this one is kinda boring compared to my other poems but here ya go.

Life Moves On

My feelings were torn to
little pieces by a girl who
I loved, but life moves on.
No need for me to be
taken under by the quicksand
of sadness and despair because
life moves on.
I've faced a lot of pain
and seen a lot of pain,
but my life continues to move
on.
So her rejecting me may only
sting but thats all that is
because life moves on.
Life does not stop because
of the pains we face because
that is all apart of life.
The pain will always hurt
if one cannot accept
and move on.
I've accepted this fact and
this pain just like all the
ones before this and just
like the rest life moves
on.

Well I talked to my friend right after I made my last post. I told her how I felt about the whole situation and that everybody else was getting tired of getting put and in the middle and I addressed all that other stuff I spoke of. I didn't sugar coat anything because that's not my style. In the end she decided to break up with him. Even though she was nervous about doing it, I told her as long as she doesn't feel any regret she has made the right decision. Later.
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Friday, May 13, 2005

Poem #16
I was thinking about all the things I have done and it kinda made this poem. Here ya go.

And the Blind Shall See

The lone wolf has drifted
on this road of loneliness
for far too long.
Seeing the suffering of
many along the way,
his heart has become
consumed and blinded
by the rage that
exists.
As he walks down this
road, he feels the
pain of something he
desired.
The dark demons that
laid dormant in his
soul have now been
unleashed and casting
him into a pit
of despair and darkness.
His heart, mind, body,
soul, spirit and everything
else within him have
all blinded and fading.
As the lone wolf
grows weak, the hands
of souls who care
for him pulls him
from that deep, dark
pit of despair and
into the color, bright
light.
Now fully engulfed in
the light, his mind
is clear and soul his
soul is at ease.
And in the end the
blind shall see.

Man its kinda rough today. I gotta friend whose really being a pain right now. She's in a relationship whith a friend of mine and they are having a big time lack of communication. Now I know both points of view really but me and a whole bunch of other people are starting to get pissed off about the whole entire thing. See she is going around being sad about what they aren't doing and all this stuff and its bugging me. She is my friend and all but she expects everyone to give her pity and sympathy and I ain't up for doing that. Well I gotta go right now. I'll tell you guys about it later. Later.
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Thursday, May 12, 2005

   Poem #15
I'm kinda getting tired of women grouping all of us guys into one catergory when it comes to certain things so I decided to write something pertaining to this. It's basically setting me apart from everyone else. Here ya go.

Difference Between Me and Them

Women pass me up as if I'm
like every other guy and
because I'm not the best
looking guy, so let me tell
you the difference between me
and them.
I ain't the best looking guy
but I got heart and soul that
nobody can take away from me.
I'm not going to give you
some corny line just to get
into your pants because thats
not my style.
I'll tell you things straight
from my heart and tell you
like it is.
I'll treat you like a queen
with all my heart and put
everything that I am in it
from the start.
My personality shall shine like
a star, never fading unless you
make it.
My future is planned and my
mind is focused and if you are
that special someone who is
willing to take that ride
with me through that future,
mines and yours, then all
you have to do is sit back
and relax because I will
take care of you.
I will pride myself to
be the man I know I
can be and that's the
difference between me and
them.

Well I'm tired. I'm on stage crew and we had this long program today. So I'm drained from that. I also got rid of the last little thing that connected me to the girl I was telling you guys about. I'm a little happy now. Not as bogged down as I was before about. Later.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Your element is Fire. Like fire, you have a hot
temper and you can be warm and loving as well
and angry and wild. It all really comes down to
what you are feeling. You have a lot of close
friends who you are very protective over, and
with your temper probably some enemies too. You
are not Miss Popular in school since you are
your own person and don't want to be forced
into behaving this or that way. You are the
untamed wild horse, the kind that everyone
wants to catch. But you don't want to be tied
down for the moment and just keep going with
your little crushes. Your will is strong and if
you set your mind to do something, you will
most likely succeed. But beware, your friends
may not always accept your mood-swinging
behaviour. Even if you don't mean to be mean,
they can still feel hurt. You just need to
start thinking some things through before you
do them, and not always jump in with so much
courage. One day you may be hurt because of
that, but then again, your element isn't fire
if you start to analyse situations before you
act. After all, your nature is to shoot first
and ask the questions later. Rate and message!


What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
brought to you by Quizilla

Not real keen on the pic because it's a girl and I'm a guy but htis fits me perfectly. Later.
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Poem #14
Well this one came up with just out of the blue. I was just writing so it might be bad. Here ya go.

Moonlight Shadow

As I float down these
rivers of dreams, I feel
the moonlight shadows
resting upon my face.
The moonlight shadows are
giving me more questions
than answers.
As I feel myself
drifting down and fading
away, the moonlight
shadows show me more
than my heart can
handle.
A mirror that showed
everything that was
within me.
Everything I ever felt
the moonlight shadows
have revealed.
Because of these shadows,
my heart is left with
so much pain that I
don't know which way
to turn.
Can I escape all that
is within, as shown
to me by the moonlight
shadows, or should I
accept everything?
As I continue to float
down these rivers of
dreams, I feel the
moonlight shadows resting
upon me as my body
fades within those shadows.

Well I think that's gonna be it for today. Maybe maybe not. Hell if I know. Later.
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Poem #13
This poem is based off a promise that I made with someone. Here ya go.

Sunrise Promise

We had gone through a lot
of things before you left
me here by myself, but
something still sicks out in
my mind.
Our sunrise promise.
You said you always wanted
to see the sunrise just
once with me.
So I promised because that
was something I knew
would mean a lot to you,
thus making it a sunrise
promise.
The day we were set to
see what we had promised
was the same day you were
gone.
I saw the sunrise that
morning and the sunset that
evening and both times I
screamed your name twice
in both sadness and anger.
I feel that you are apart
of me but it still doesn't
feel the same, but I
do know that one day
we shall meet again in
the realm of the spirits.
And when that day comes our sunrise promise shall
be fulfilled.
But until that day comes,
I look at the sunrise
with happiness in my
heart knowing that this
is our sunrise promise.

Well don't have much else to say. Sorry things are kinda shallow here. Just thinkning a lot about stuff. Later.
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Monday, May 9, 2005

Poem #12
This poem kinda tells about how I felt when I was trying to get with. Yeah the one that is kinda put me in this mood about love and true love and all that crap. She was kinda indecisive and I tried to help see what was in front of her but it didn't help. Well here ya go.

Standing Here

Standing here in front
of you is not just
another guy.
Standing here in front
of you is me and
everything I'm willing
to give.
Standing here in front
of you is someone
who sees you as an
equal but in his own
heart something greater.
Standing here in front
of you is someone
who wants to put
your heart at ease
but isn't given the
chance to.
I grow weary from just
standing here but I
said I would wait
forever.
But sometimes I feel as
though I need to walk
away because forever
can never really come
nor can it end.
Standing here, though
tired and drained,
I await for that one
day where I am
finally given your
heart and someone can
show you how you
should be loved.

Well I think that's it for the poems today. I'm really thinking alot about stuff right now. I really want to open up but there is like this big wall here that just doesn't allow me to do that. I hate being hurt and rejected and all that stuff after revealing all that I am to someone. I don't really trust others that much really. You DTA. Don't Trust Anybody. I just enclose myself into a shell and keep everything bottled up. It's my style. Like Squall said in FF8, I like when people think I don't care about others and all that stuff. Well I got nothing else to say right now. Later.
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Poem #11
I've been questioning my self and others about love. Most of the times I'm questioning myself about it. Like whether or not my definition means anything to anybody when I say it? Well here ya go.

What is Love?

What is love?
Nothing more than an
emotion that we humans
express right?
Or is there really
a set definition to
what love is?
Can it be defined by
a dictionary or can
it be defined by
the person or persons
who feel it?
What is love?
Is it where material
possessions map out
how you feel or
is it where a person's
heart, body, mind and
soul map out the inner
and outer sanctuary
that exist between two
people?
So many questions
surrounds one word
but what is this to
me?
Nothing more than me
doing any and everything
in my power to make
my significant other
happy.
But really can I
even have a definition
to this word?
Have I ever truly
felt what this word
really means, and
when I have was it
full proof or did it
have large gaps in
it?
What is love?
Will it ever embrace
me in the form of
a person, or is it
truly meant for me
to live in the
shadows alone?
What is love?
I don't know nor
do I think I
will ever feel
what love is.
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Friday, May 6, 2005

Poem #10
This one kinda ditch all the feelings that I ever felt about my dad. I feel as though since he wasn't there for me then fuck him basically. He hadn't even seen me once and guess what. For that I have no use for him. He is really only known to me as a sperm donar. Thats it. Well here ya go.

No Living, No Mortality

If I am continuosly consumed
by the hatred and anger in
my heart for you, it would
mean for me no living, no
mortality.
If I always think that my
destiny and fate would forever
be tied to you, it means
for me no living, no mortality.
If I am always giving up
on what I truly want out of
life all because visions
of you keeps popping up in
my head, it means for me
no living, no mortality.
If I can't believe in
myself just like everyone
else believes in me, then
yes it means no living,
no mortality for me.
If I can't see what
everyone else sees in
me, then it means for
me no living, no
mortality.
If I can't understand
that I am not like your
punk ass, who leaves a
woman 7 months pregnant
with your son and you've
never even made the
attempt to see me, then
dammit there should be
no living, no mortatily
for me!
But I understand what
everyone was saying and
I understand that there
is nothing you and I
have in common therefore
that means that there
will be living and
mortality for me.

Yeah I kinda hate my sperm donar for this. Cause really he's not a fucking man. It kinda makes me mad when I see guys treating their women all wrong and shit. That's why when ever I get a girlfriend, I'm treating like a queen. She won't have to worry about anything because I will definitely love her unconditonally. Most guys say stuff and do stuff because they expect stuff in return. Me on the other hand won't do that kinda shit. I won't have a problem with buying a girl a gift or something or doing something out of the kindness of my heart. I mean I just wonder why the hell does everything have to come with some kind of an attachment. It's stupid. I don't know. Maybe I'm just very different from other guys. Well later.
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