Friday, February 15, 2008

Here's a good analogy... =/
The water is deep; and I am a tiny speck among the waves. You stand on the dock and watch me struggle to stay afloat, exerting all of my energy for a single breath. Just to need another in a matter of seconds. You decide you want to help, but there is no line to throw, no boat to catch, and... you can't swim. There are others on this dock: others that I know and thought I loved, watching me drown... or are simply turned away. You say you've been in this situation before... but I guess you don't remember how to get out of it. My head hurts, I feel torn in half because nobody on the dock looks like they are even interested in saving me, and I'm empty and lonely. My fingers are numb, the water's cold, I can't hold on to my waterlogged notebook for much longer. It's empty anyways, as empty as my mind is. Of course... nobody wishes to drown with me. It's the only solution, pretty much: having somebody care enough to really... think about me, and care how I'm feeling, or... simply make it look like you're not watching me drown with a straight face or even a smile... look like you care, like I'm more than a floating piece of seaweed.
Do you think I'm in any position to be pounded on with any more guilt than of being alive? Yet I'm stabbed with those comments they make, tearing me farther and farther away from everybody. I'm guilty enough just asking for the little attention I get. Please... before you get angry with me, put yourself in my shoes for a change. Friends should try and help friends, not spit venom at them and throw rocks.

~Sam
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