Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Happy Yule. and Happy Christmas
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Monday, December 17, 2007

She watches them walk away
Leaving her alone
She watches as it falls apart
No more happy home.

She laughs at all this drama
That two people can put you through
But then she dies inside again
Just one more piece has got to go

She smiles with her red lips
All painted up ready to go
She gives a wink to be cute
Even though she cares no more

She glides and dances for show
Boring all eyes on her
But inside she keeps stumbling
Keeps pretending she’s not hurt

And then along comes stars
Shinning deep within her eyes
At last, the end of all this trouble
Tonight she’ll finally cry



someone make me not care.
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Thursday, December 6, 2007

It is the dark that I weep for
The lonely formation of grief
On to the silver moon I’ll whisper
Try to break her of her sleep

This song brought to us so beautifully
How in all this coldness could you sing?
But I find its wrapped in only hatred
This moment chased away on crimson wings

I’ll keep in mind I used to loved you
Through all this dark we’ll find away
Bring with you our golden locket
But I beg you please don’t stay

It is the loneliness I cry for
This pain I’ve made my friend
My love for you has finally shattered
My heart and soul you need not mend

I’ll walk alone towards the end
Its what I find that I can do
But I’ll tell you once that I’ve forgotten
I know now I never really need you

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Why?
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Thursday, October 18, 2007

I want to cry.
I've come to realize that friends hurt you more then lovers ever could. They may abuse you, hurt you, or leave you wanting to die, but then there gone. Friends you keep taking there shit over and over again. No matter how much they've killed you.

Sarah Abused.
Physicaly abused me but not so much . It was almost always emotional. She never really loved me. and yet i'm still, after years giving her more pieces to brake

Chelsey Never understood.
She was never there, she never gave. Anything that happened with me was a stupid thing. a stupid mistake. She loved me. But never helped keep me alive, only asked for me.

Stephany's the only one should hurt
Doesn't matter what happened its never as bad as her. doesn't matter how you feeel she should feel worst. Doesn't understand or try to listen. is synical towards everything. she says she loves me....but only when i'm what she wants me to be

Travis cares about me
I could never be close friends because i'd always be wandering whether he wanted me. whether I hurt him because i didn't respond to his feelings. I feel that I don't have the right to bother him with anything. that I shouldn't feel the way i do because other ppl have it rougher.

Jamie I love him
I couldn't be with him. and I couldn't have him as a close friend. he's my double edged knife.

Hayley looses interest.
We can be close friends. but she loosed interest and as soon as a little thing comes up that is excuse ready she's gone. and we don't talk for months at a time. I love her. she loves me but somtimes it feels like she has to.


I'm sorry. This is truth. From me. This is my reminder. Maybe trusting yourself is all you should have.
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Saturday, September 22, 2007

‘When’ never mattered

I’ve hid away my beauty
Gave away my wings
And some how on this journey
I’ll find myself again.

I’ve gone into this nightmare
My hope free to leave at any time
I’ve brought with me no baggage
Nothing to distract me from my dream

I wear but one sole pearl
My reminder of polished pain
And once I needed you to love me
But Somehow I’ll find myself again

Once I had played a song for death
Invited him to take me in my bed
Begged him to rape me with his warmth
And all but fell to my knees

So along this path of persecution
I’ll hold my head up high
I’ll cast aside all your judgments
Because I know I’ll find myself inside

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Lick the sweat of my temples
Laced in ecstasy
Absorbed by screams
I am lying there
Waiting
Succumbing to greed
Take my waist between your hands
We’re rocking on a wave
Breaking into the sea
And falling into our rhythm
Drums beating along my skin
As you scrape your nails down my neck
You keep bringing my screams
Cold wall grinds into my back
And I remember where we are
Up against the world
Fingers inch along my thigh
You’re such a dirty distraction
Making me squirm pushing you closer
This is our little dance, hand in hand
But you pull away to soon, its ended
I crumble to the floor, a heap of sweat
Breath shattering blood pumping
I can barely stand as I’m flung into your arms
Shoved down, held down, Oh you make me scream
One little thrust and I’m home
Back arches, another night of release

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Monday, May 14, 2007

so i was talking to this other girl i used to like. and i had stopped liking her cause well she's a wangker. a total bitch. but now i'm sooo fucking sick and tired of being lonely that i asked her out...and she said yes. And i know i don't like her. but i'm miserable.....
I feel so fucked in the head. I feel like theres something mentally fucked in my head.

And i think i'm bipolor also. I have all the fucked up symptoms FUCK


I'm sooo fucking messed up right now. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I feel like jacking myself up with fucking drugs and drowning away my problems in heroin FUck
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Sunday, May 6, 2007

And she
She was me
This lonely girl
And she
She was dead
Tired of everything
And plans
Plans where made
A way to run away
And time
Time was over
Over for everything
But maybe
Maybe things were okay
Perhaps she
Perhaps Me
Perhaps I was finally free
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Tuesday, May 1, 2007

HOOOOLLLLLLYYYY SMOKES I AM SOOOOOOOOO FREAKING BORD!!!!!!
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