Sunday, September 17, 2006

In dark we see nothing of danger coming upon us
In shadow we know of non that can hurt us
In blatant trust we feel no coming doom
Close your eyes
You wont know your finally dead untill you feel the knife cut deep across your throat
I want it that way

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When you find me found in a shroud of death
Do not embrace me with your flesh
Do not kiss me with your soul
I'll be in my purist form beneath the earth
Leave me with no lover note
Walk out my door once again, everlast
My body cold as mornings blood upon the trees
Lick never again away my tears
Whisper never, speak it only one-time more
I'll die alone with poetry in my mind
Do not try and look nothing will be found
I leave you my limp body and soul ceaseless
Theres no point
There shall be no note covered in blood
Only a kiss of chilling fire beyond your lips
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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I need a way from my hell
I've longed for my freedom
and yet it comes with such a price
Its as though with every solution
Theres a new problem
With every sprout of information
Theres a new fact...and lie
I've dug my way into a hole
and used the wrong people for escape
Now there in too deep
I'm sorry
I made some mistakes
Done some things very wrong
and it kills me
I found out about a new baby
a baby I don't want to know about
a baby that will steel my mom
I drowned in pain along with new blood
and feeling like I was loosing everything
I didn't try and swim away
I tryed so hard to feel something
and made you feel it instead
I tryed so hard to hate...people
it only lead to an understanding
I found a new solution to a heart breaking problem
But now I feel just as much pain
when with my rescuer I feel ,said, same misery
maybe thats the key to love
maybe thats the key to me
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Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Depressions in the snow
She takes all reason
Abandons it
Reaps it
Brakes it
She licks up fiction
Makes it her world
Forgets reality
She swallows problems
After problems
From someone else’s life
And sadly justifies,
Clerically, the absence of others ears
She fucks and cries and loves
An act of defalcation
And monsters with the faces of closeness
Kill her with truths supposed to be facts,
Told to bring help from her numb spirit
Told to throw joy in her, now suffocated
By those closeness voices, heart
Love told her once, long ago, it loved her
And once, love seduced her, with lying words
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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Quiver for me my long stem rose bleeding from your eyes
I’ll watch you shudder silently as you slowly die
Broken apart by snow and rain a shelter gone askew
I’ll kiss your numbing fingertips, brush past your lips of blue
Crystals fall upon your head, a glassy nest of hurt and fear
I wonder at your dreaming sky, licking up your sun-dried leers
You said you used to sing a song, sing that song for me
Let drip the notes you used to love, drip past our weeping willow tree
You used to say you loved a girl, loved her with a falling heart
Why then my rose filled willow tree did you so rip her apart?

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Friday, August 11, 2006

no fight left in me anymore
You glide casually onto the surface of my life. Like a moth grazing the glass shell of water. To be gone with heart ach, what a vacation that could be. To be gone with you, what a relief I could feel.
I watch you dance, as you quickly steal glances of me. Our eyes never meet. Irony, you, with other people, always dancing away from me. I’m caught in your web. To love you, but not be in love with you. To miss you, but hate you just the same. To not be able to trust you as much as I don’t trust myself. Sometimes I just hate you. Sometimes I hate what I am around you. Sometimes your just not worth it...at all.
You walk towards me, swaying your hips, assuming I’d watch your provocative walk. You remind me of the song ‘your so vain’. Believing everything between us is sexual, assuming I feel sexually about you. Vain so vain. YOU create any sexual tension with your assumptions. At times you make me sick, and oh so fucking tired. Don’t look suggestive, don’t say I’m mad because I’m jellous of everyone else with you.
I just want to know, if at all, I mean anything to you, in any respect to friendship, because it seems, maybe me being there didn’t have any impact on you. I will admit that I may have acted the same in respect to not showing any love, or friendship, and that’s what I hate in our ‘friendship’ that’s what tires me out, YOU and ME. I’m tired so tired. If you care…do something, if not, then assume I’ll come back to you again, but you’ll be waiting along time.
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Thursday, August 10, 2006

what's in a name?
My name means.

C- You're wild and crazy.
A- You like to drink.
R- You have one of the best personalities ever.
O- You are one of the best in bed.
L- You live to have fun.
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.
N- You are absolutely beautiful.

What does yours?

A- You like to drink.
B- You like people.
C- You're wild and crazy.
D- Fuckin' sexy.
E- Damn good kisser.
F- People adore you.
G- You never let people tell you what to do.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.
I-You are a great person.
J- Everyone loves you.
K- You are really silly.
L- You live to have fun.
M- Success comes easily to you.
N- You are absolutely beautiful.
O- You are one of the best in bed.
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- You have one of the best personalities ever.
S- Easy to fall in love with.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
U- You really like to chill.
V- You are not judgemental.
W- You are very broad minded.
X- You never let people tell you what to do.
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.
Z- Always ready.

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Thursday, July 6, 2006

We lunge back and forth
A broken dance
A waltz of horrid love
Hands in place, holding close
One, Two, Three, Dip
One, Two, Three, Dip
We measure each breath
We time each step
One, Two, Three, Dip
One, Two, Three, Dip
Clasp hand upon low back
Guiding each and every step
One, Two, Three, Dip
One, Two, Three, Dip
Blending into several essences
Tiring from the choreographed steps
One, Two, Three, Dip
One, Two, Three, Dip
There always exists a form of music
We follow to and fro
But when the dance becomes to swift
We all fall back from the floor
Forget the partner clasped in hand
Forget the rose fallen down
Forget the steps it took to learn this dance
One, Two, Three, Dip
One, Two, Three, Dip
We’ve long died away
As the music ends
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Friday, June 9, 2006

Thought I'd post this so you guys didn't think I've died
Mr. Torment

It's a ghost town
Broken homes
It’s a wedding gown
Thrown stones

It’s a Cadillac
Smoked cigarettes
It’s a fake rack
Stupid regrets

So here we are
This land of choices
We’ve come so far
To find empty voices
Just a stupid joke
A place to call our abode
Hey there folk
Its time your bomb explodes

It’s a world trip
Drugs and booze
It’s a Freudian slip
Our last excuse

It’s a funny thing
To feel such pride
It’s a summer fling
With us worldwide

So here we are
This land of choices
We’ve come so far
To find empty voices
Just a stupid joke
A place to call our abode
Hey there folk
Its time your bomb explodes

Wage your war
Head held high
I can’t do it no more
How do you not cry?

I can’t understand
Mr. President
You’ve got it planned
Mr. Torment

Just drop your bomb
Do it nice and calm
This is the end
I don’t understand
Mr. Torment
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Listening to a song...
...feel like tears...I’ll die running away...I'm on the verge of crying.
< I’m not going to write a stupid poem
In which head, dead, hope, and cope
Seem to be the only rhyming words
I wont do it this is my suicide poem
Not a crappy teenagers dictionary/thesaurus >

It’s as if the dark has left me
It’s as if it brings no fear or safety
I’ve lost my friend the one I’ve hated
Oh so long

We cope and think and plan away the day
Wishing for an equivalent to our crazy dreams
I bend my legs under me reaching with closed fist
The sky darkens, I wish…I’d never say goodbye

It’s as though the rain beats inside
It’s as though the notes become my violin
I’m not drowning, the down pore comes
Take a breath

My pencil breaks, the shavings twist and turn
I sharpen up my life to that one point
Take into me my fading hopes and faithless sighs
My eyes meet the sun the storm is breaking

It’s as long as the storm retreats there is sun
It’s as long as the rose wilts it will end
Happiness will shine once again
Still I say goodbye
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