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myOtaku.com: gothicserenity


Monday, January 23, 2006

Depression is like a fire. It needs kindling, you need to fan the flames, and it will grow bigger. Except in the case of depression you can’t stop adding wood.
Friendship is like a fire also; it needs its wood to live. So how then can these to very different things come to be so closely intertwined? Easy. You have friends - you have depression.
A friendship of depression can’t last, although untold by popular belief. A fire can’t add wood to another fire. You can’t nurture a friendship; you can’t be there for the other person, when you’re in just as much need.
I understand this. In a time, to me, this concept would have gone unnoticed, except now after all this time, the over all affect of a friendship likes this is starting to take its toll.
This was different though. You need me/I needed you. It was so simple. But you never gave back. You tore my skin away to make yourself a blanket to protect you from the cold, when all along the cold…was inside you.
Can you hear the weeping. I’m a puddle on the floor. And you know, as soon as another resource came along, I was cast aside. When people keep pulling on every side of you, then all of a sudden let go…you go flying. So as you see I am far away from where I used to be, from who I used to be.
We as humans use up resources then move on, but what if…those resources where your friends. And they’re left…I’m left…to try and add wood to my own fire. I…I just can’t. Don’t you see, I can’t do it anymore. The fear, the incompetence, the lack of ability to remember to eat, these are symptoms I’ve had for so long. The sadness, the sleeping, and lack there of, the tears that have dried up…don’t you find it weird I don’t talk to you anymore? Do you even care?
You know I didn’t run from you, I walked away and it hurt more to see….that you didn’t try to stop me.
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