Friday, November 16, 2007

   O.O HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!
OOOOOOOOO HI EVERYONE!!! ^^ Alotz been up lately so, lemme get started!!

Uhhhhh, schools been pretty boring, except this guy, has now asked me out 14 times. -_-" Its freakn crazy... heres a note from him and me:
(every paragraph is switching people, starting with him.)

Im sorry for all the trouble I caused you, can you ever forgive me? Sorry!

It's ok, dw bout it. Thankfully, I cried so much last night, that he didnt mention your call. so, dw k?

Im still sorry for making you put up with my stupidity.

sorry, and dont worry about it. Its all fine.

what are you sorry for?

about the spelling error I fixed, XD

np, the thing is, its kind of like cds. I got hyped up and I dont know when to stop! With you The same thing applys to you. I just couldnt leave you alone. Thats why Im sorry

^^' It's okay, dw about it. my parents just dont want me to have anything to do with boys, thats why this was all so much trouble, so technically, its not your fault. Nice simile though

Thanks. The thing is, your parents wouldnt know if I hadnt asked for your phone #. I'm thinking we could stay friends for a while and later think about it. That way your parents wouldnt know. (just a suggestion)

maybe but definately not now. ^^'

good point

Ya, I know right? (lol, jk) so watz up?

Its this though. Your the nicest person that i've just about met. Your pretty, and a good artist. You can apply good feelings to bad ones. I like people like that. I probably in my life will never meet another person like you! (not kidding) (ps. I swear to god thats true)(non offensive also)

And thats it. Its kind of sweet, but then again, its creepy coming from THAT guy. (Jessica you know him, Reuben.)We pass notes alot. (well actually, HE passes notes alot. I have like 15 other ones, but I wont bore you anymore)

So how are all of you?!! I havent talked to anyone for such a long time!!

My school had a concert the other night. It was our Pop and Pretzel concert. (My fave concert!!)
I had a solo, called "Till There Was You" from some musical called "The Music Man." IDK what it is, I've never heard of it...
At our winter concert, me and another girl are going to do a duet to "O Holy Night" So ya, Im having lots of fun in the music department... Lol.

Everyone's been sick at my dad's house. Me and my sister KR are the only ones that didnt catch the flu with everyone else. -_-" But then I felt so alone when one of our dogs ran away, and my sister and step mom were crying. I was like, the only one that wasnt affected by anything!! (I felt left out... T^T) But, then our dog came back after my dad shot a possum right outside of our deck door. (Like, ON the deck... My dad couldnt get the door open, and then it tried to come in! oO Thats a strange possum... Its like a pet... a VERY UGLY pet...)

Today was career day at school, and we were supposed to pick 4 careers that we wanted to watch a presentation on... well, I picked: webpage designer, national guard, navy, and photographer.... and three of mine didnt show up! So I instead went to: webpage designer, potterer, writer, and DeVry... _-_ They were all soooo boring except for the Potterer.

I've also gotten really into writing poems lately. Here's a few of my faves.

Never or Always?
By: Stephani B.

I spent an entIre night crying over you,
I couLd never love you again...
You broke my heart, into twO
I could neVer love you again...
Oh darling I hate you, with all my passion
I could never love you again...
I hatE you for making me love You even though you hurt me.
...
I cOuld ALWAYS love yoU again...

In that one, it spells something out in the capital words. >.>

Strength is Gone...
By: Stephani B.

It's like I'm in jail, cold and alone
wandering and wondering for all eternity
Searching my mind, for anything I couldve done wrong
Shriveled up and scared, for what might come next.

Yet through all this, somehow I still manage to find my strength.
The strength to get up and move forward.
The strenth from within...

Someone please help me, I've run out of strength...
I think I'ts gone. The fire that onece burned deep within.
The fire I called my strength.
Dear God, how could this be?
Say it isnt so...
I just want to jump out of this nightmare,
this nightmare that is like the fiery depths of hell.
But I cant...
because this...this is...
My life, my strength... well guess what?
My life's strength is gone.

No More Thoughts
By: Stephani B.

Sometimes,
I have violent thoughts.
Thoughts of stabbing someone,
thoughts of dying.
Thoughts of someone jumping from a cliff.
Thoughts of bleeding,
from my wrists.
Thoughts of cutting,
breaking,
bending.
These are the thoughts I have sometimes.
Why? My councilers and teachers and friends ask.
I'll tell you.
It's because of the life my parents created.
The divorcing,
the moving,
the yelling at home.
When will it stop? No one ever knows.
So I cry out of anger and frustration.
The only thing left I can do is...
BANG
There.
I'm dead now.
I cant cry anymore,
I cant be sad anymore.
I cant bleed anymore.
No more...
I'm free...
Free from my sadness,
from my anger...
Free from... my life.

And, thats all Im gonna put up tonight. I'll put more up tomarrow. Cause me fingers hurt... T^T

I'm gonna go change my entire site, so hope you all like the new theme!! ^^ Bye!!

Currently my favorite song: "A Bay Bay"

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