Sunday, December 17, 2006

   Im back!
Here are a couple of things my frined sent me. They are funny....
Southern Charm
Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The! lady f rom the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz." Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh my God! What on earth for?".

The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?"



. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those
> little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
>
> 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
> section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)
>
> 3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one
> enjoys it?

> 4. There are three religious truths:
> a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
> b Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
> Christian faith.
> c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
> Hooters.
>
> 5. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from
> Holland called Holes?
>
> 6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>
> 7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
>
> 8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
> bread to begin with?
>
> 9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person
> who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
>
> 10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
>
> 11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it
> follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
> deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
> depressed?
>
> 12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
>
> 13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>
> 14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
>
> 15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
> more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for
> their final exam.
>
> 16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
> spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use.
> Toothpicks?
>
> 17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
> are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
> pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while
> they deliver the mail?
>
> 18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly
> are the others here for?
>
> 19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
>
> 20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
> zigzag?
>
> 21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
>
> 22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
>
> 23. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put
> the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?
So ya my week... Well our History teach said that he has to go get durgery on his knee. (He said someone hit him in the knee with a baseball bat and now the knee cap is cracked and his tendons are broken or something like that. Ummm.... I got in trouble in AG cause I was talking... Well lets just say that my week was perty boring. Except 4 Friday. On Friday we had the 57th annual Christmas Pagent! ^^ I have been preparing for it for like ever! We sand alot and ya. There were like 100's of ppl there! Im still blind though cause there were like lots of cameras going off and I sit like right in front of the spotlight! T^T 0.0 So then I came home and... watched TV and stayed up till 1....
Today I got up at 11 heh heh... I guess old habits really do come back... ummm.... I played sims until 'bout 3:30 and me & my mom went Christmas shopping. We went to Borders and I read the 10th FMA book! OMG! It is sad... I thought Havoc died... It scared me... So newayz we went to church at about 4:30 and when we were done we went Christmas shopping again and I jsut had to spend a little of my hard earned money on me so after I was done shopping I used the left over money to buy an Almond Joy and Christina Aguilera's new CD Back to Basics! ^^ Its a 2 CD special!
The songs include:
Disc 1
1 Intro(Back to Basics)
2 Makes me wanna pray ♥
3 Back in the day ♥
4 Ain't no other man ♥
5 Understand
6 Slow down baby ♥
7 Oh mother ♥
8 F.U.S.S.
9 On our way
10 Without you
11 Still Dirrty ♥
12 Here to stay
13 Thank you (dedication to fans)
Disc 2
1 Enter the Circus
2 Welcome
3 Candyman ♥
4 Nasty Naughty Boy ♥
5 I got trouble ♥
6 Hurt ♥
7 Mercy on me
8 Save me from myself
9 The right man

There is a heart next to the really good ones!

Then we went to QT to get slushies! I got Blue Raspberry Coke! Nummy! Lol Then we made cookies! (Hint: Last weekend I was talking about making dough for sugar cookies and my mom made icing) Well tonight we baked the cookies and put icing on them! YAY! I got to lick the icing bowls! XD I was soooooooo flippin hyper!! YES! LOL So then I got on the computer and now im updating the computer! LOL I have to get off at 12 and wrap the presents! XD (I have to wait till my mama goes ta bed.) Lol.
By the way u peeps haven't been commenting lately! T^T Ish makes me sad....


cya!


♥+Greedsdoll+♥

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