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Sunday, November 13, 2005
Miscellaneous Things, Mostly Funny!!
You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... |
You can recite *all* the dialogue from the trilogy.
You watch the entire trilogy at least once a month.
You wonder why the SW theme never makes it into those "clasical collections."
Any time you pick up a walkie-talkie or two-way radio, the first thing you say is "TK-421, why aren't you at your post?"
Whenever you went anywhere outside with your friends, you always walked single file, to hide your numbers.
You've written several letters to the President recommending that he dissolve the council, put power in the hands of the regional governors, and let fear keep the local systems in line.
In college, after several hours of poker, you got thrown our of the game for suggesting, "How about some sabacc?"
When trying unsuccessfully to snare that last Cheerio floating in your cereal bowl, you remarked, "the Force is strong with this one."
On Halloween, you would never dress as: Luke, Han Solo, Leia, Vader, Chewie, Threepio, Artoo
However, you would dress as: Wedge, Porkins, Crix Madine, that spider droid from Jabba's palace that fat dancer from Jabba's palace, Sy Snootles, the Cantina bartender. The monster in the trash compactor, Boba Fett, An Imperial probe droid
You've been pulled over by a policeman, and when asked to see your driver's license you replied, "You don't need to see my identification."
And when he asks about your two friends in the back "They're for sale, if you want them."
You have physically threatened anyone who referred to "Hans Solo" or "Dark Vader", confused Star Wars with Star Trek, or spellied Wookiee with only one "e."
You have held up an onion ring and said, "Look sir...droids!"
You've referred to Wedge Antilles or Boba Fett as "The Man."
You've bought a white Isuzu Trooper, strictly because of the name.
While sitting on the couch with your girlfriend, she comments about being cold. So, naturally, you slice open the side of the cushion and stuff her in.
You insist on spelling Pizza Hut "Pizza Hutt."
You dropped your religion and now live the way Yoda taught you.
You recorded all the new Star Wars comercials.
You frequently experience insomnia and, to counter this, begin counting nerfs.
You answer the phone "Die wanna wanga?"
Whenever you buy a new appliance, you make sure to get one that speaks Bacchi.
You call your aunt and uncle Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen.
Whenever you catch sight of cars behind yours, you say "Fighters, coming in, point three five."
Someone else in your car says "What about that tower?"
You respond, "You worry about those fighters, I'll worry about the tower", and moments later your car slams into the water tower the passenger was referring to.
When a cop catches you speeding, you floor it, saying "I've outrun Imperial starships, and not the local bulk cruisers..."
When someone apologizes to you, you choke him and tell him that you accept his apology.
You ride your motorbike through the forest at top speed, and survive after throwing yourself off just before it hits a tree.
You've 'wielded' a flashlight and made humming sounds.
You wave your hand purposefully and 'use the force' to open and close automatic doors or elevator doors.
You go over to a friends, go to his refrigerator, and crawl in throwing food and stuff over your shoulder and grunting.
You walk into an optometrist's office and shout: You will PAY for your lack of vision!
You have a Yoda figurine replacing the brand symbol on the hood of your car.
When accelerating your car to enter the freeway, you tell your passengers to strap in and prepare for light speed.
Your significant other dumps you because everytime she/he says, "I love you" you always respond, "I know."
You quote Yoda to defend your political beliefs.
You have so many SW Trilogy GIF's, JPG's, MIDI's, AVI's, WAV's, MPG's, icons and text files that you're rapidly running out of disk space and have to buy a bigger hard drive just to hold them all.
You have so many SW posters that you can't see your ceiling or floor, either.
You have so many SW toys that you can't see your SW posters anyway.
When leaving a restaurant, you can't resist signing Boba Fett or Darth Vader in the guestbook.
You went through a state of depression when Chewie died.
You look at "big hairy carpets" with more respect than before.
You speak Rodian.
You punch out trekkies who say "Death star my ass, I'd like to see those losers take out DS9."
With a blue-tinted plastic tube, a flashlight, two hours of a Saturday night, and 4 rolls of blue electrical tape, you finally complete your own working "Light-saber"
You listen for Obi-Wan while attempting to parallel park
1Your father asks you how fast your car is, and you reply, "Fast enough for you, old man!"
You could have sworn you saw bantha tracks during your trip to the grand canyon.
Every time somebody sneezes, you say, "May the force be with you."
The cinnamon buns in your hair start to grow mold.
You call your friend who is a midget Wicket.
You refer to money as credits without trying to.
You respond to any mention of the legality of something with "I will make it legal."
You start reliving the speeder bike chase on your motorbike.
Someone tells you your car is old and beat-up, you reply "She'll do .5 past light speed..."
You refer to getting off the freeway as coming out of hyperspace.
You are POSITIVE you are force-sensitive and only lack the proper training.
Someone says they will try to do something you automatically respond "Do or do not. There is no try."
By intense study you have actually figured out the location of every gun implacement on a star destroyer.
Your house robe is brown and extra large.
You type in the terms for a search engine as if entering coordinates, then shout "Punch it, Chewie!" as you click on search.
You argue about whether Star Wars is space fantasy or space opera.
You're out looking for a Wookie for your school's wrestling team.
You nickname your car the Millennium Falcon.
The last time a cute guy tried to hug you, your hands were dirty.
When your mom asks you to clean your room, you say "Leave that to me."
Your friends share recipes for cooking Ewok.
You have a long braid in you hair like Obi-Wan in E1.
You call your boss/teacher "Master"
You went to the nearest recruiting center and asked to be assigned to the 121st TIE squadren
When asked if you want to be buried or creamated you say "I'll just vanish like the rest of the Jedi"
You have a bad feeling about everything.
While partying with friends, you do your Darth Vader impression.
You try to get your car up to .5 beyond lightspeed, in a parking lot.
You call your girlfriend, "your Highness."
You keep calling your boyfriend, "Luke," "Han," or "Lando" by mistake.
You believe John Williams is the best composer ever (which, of course, he is!), and George Lucas is a god (which, too, is pretty much true!)
While listening to the soundtrack without knowing the name of the song you are listening to, you know exactly what's happening while it's playing.
In foreign language class, you tell the teacher, "Hey! If I'm fluent in over six million forms of communication, then how come I'm getting such a bad grade in this class?"
When your friends confide in you and tell you their deepest, darkest secrets, you say, "You are far too trusting."
When your dad says, "I am your father," you begin to scream uncontrollably and shout, "NOOOO! It's not true!" at the top of your lungs.
You have ever thought the world would be a better place if it were like the Rebel Alliance/New Republic.
You now want to become an astronaut to see if there really is a Lando system.
Obiwan Kenobi and Yoda come to you in your dreams and give you advice about tough situations you're dealing with.
Yoda's little sayings have had a profound impact on your life, and you abide by them religiously.
You've created lyrics to the songs in Star Wars.
Instead of saving for college, you save up for Star Wars stuff you plan to buy.
Anyone who doesn't like Star Wars you proclaim is an Imperial.
When you are ticked off at somebody, you send bounty hunters all over the place to find them and then you encase him in carbonite for a new wall decoration.
When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, your reply is, "Unexpected this is... and unfortunate!"
When riding your bike, you look behind you and accelerate wildly by pressing down on the petal with your right toe.
You've kept the "good" action figures stored separately from the "bad" ones.
As a child, whenever you had broken something, your response was always, "It must've had a self-destruct mechanism. I didn't hit it that hard."
You've refused to enter a cave/cavern/tunnel without a handgun and a large stick.
When you waited for a friend to catch up with you, you told him to hurry up or he'd be a permanent resident.
You've ever found yourself in a chat room, training Jedi.
You've ever told your younger brother at the dinner table, "Use the fork, Luke."
You've ever roped off your Star Wars Action Figure collection, claiming it to be an independent nation.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Star Wars. |
You Know You're Addicted to Coffee When... |
You can jump start your car without cables.
You answer the door before people knock.
You get a speeding ticket even when you are parked.
You've worn out your third pair of shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open even when you sneeze.
You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
You can type sixty words per minute -- with your feet.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
Instant coffee takes too long to make.
You channel surf faster without the remote.
You don't sweat... you percolate.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
You short out motion detectors.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
The only time you are standing still is during an earthquake!
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
All your kids are named Joe.
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
People get dizzy just watching you.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
When someone asks 'How are you?' you say, 'Good to the last drop'.
You buy milk by the barrel.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
You don't tan, you roast.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You introduce your spouse as your coffee mate.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You name your cats Cream and Sugar.
You ski uphill.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
You speed-walk in your sleep.
You spend every vacation visiting Maxwell House.
You think being called a drip is a compliment.
You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation.
You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low.
Your taste buds are so numb; you could drink your lava lamp.
Your Thermos is on wheels.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
You've worn out the handle on your favourite mug.
You take your morning coffee with you in the shower.
Your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to coffee. |
Chocabo!!!
Awww, PooR KittY!!
Lol
Seifer needs to stop trying to kill Squall and focus on OTHER things....
LMAO!!!
Funny Sayings
1 He who laughs last thinks slowest.
2 Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
3 A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4 On the other hand you have different fingers.
5 Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
6 I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
7 When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
8 Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
9 Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
10 I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
11 He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
12 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
13 I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
14 Honk if you love peace and quiet.
15 Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
16 Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
17 It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
18 The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
19 It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
20 You can't have everything....where would you put it?
21 Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
22 The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
23 A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
24 It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.
25 I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
26 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
OOOOkay...
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