Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Some Like it Not

Introduction Over the week-end I decided to install some tweaks and minor changes to this site. Mostly, they’re color changes and text effect changes. However, I’m not sure if my font specifics are being seen. Meh! I suppose it’ll all be moot when the changes take effect here at The O. That’s one thing I’ll be sad to see go. I love the fact that I can change and tweak the settings of my site. Granted it’s a fairly new thing for me. Never the less, I enjoy it. Over the last year, here in The O, I’ve noticed that people are updating less and less. I realize I’m a contributor to this. But, it’s not just an over-all thing. It seems to be more prevalent among the 24 and up demographic. I won’t say that I’m not concerned being that it does make a lot of sense. This demographic is getting out of college and starting on their career paths, while the rest of us are either deep in the thralls of our careers or aloft on the seas of wedded bliss. Both of the later applies to yours truly. While I strive to bring the best my think tank has to offer, I couldn’t help but ponder this one evening as I struggled to think of something to write about. How can I keep this up after Zealot and I have a little one of our own? I suppose only time will tell. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #37: Law of Hydrostatic Emissions Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid. The Vad Bag I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Features Yet another reason why fierce motorcycles, and kittens with broadswords will never, ever suck….ever. Enjoy. Parting Shots The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me. Grif

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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Reviews of the Bored and Tasteless

Introduction So, here I am continuing my anime parade with a little gem called “Green Green”. It’s about a Girl’s school that is joining up with a Boy’s school for a trial run at seeing how the two will blend. The boys are girl crazy and the girls are gentle flowers with a penchant for sleeping naked and distrusting the boys. Go figure. I would describe this 12+1 episode, ecchi-straviganza as painfully funny and awkwardly unsettling. The characters are marginal, the story line is somewhat predictable and the gags are way over the top. The animation is slightly below par as well. All in all, I give it a 2 out of 5. The only thing good about this show is it has a catchy opening theme and tons of gratuitous fan service if you dig that sort of thing. Other than that, it’s pretty much a formulaic, one trick pony. In other news, I apparently missed the fact that there are two anime cons in my area each year. The main one, Anime Expo, is in the summer. The second one, of which I never knew existed until now, is called L.A. Anime. This one goes on around the first week of the year. It’s fairly small but well attended from what I surmise. I would have gone to this one as well if I had known. I guess I’ll just have to wait until summer for the big enchirito. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #9: Law of Dramatic Emphasis Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white). The Vad Bag I wanted to install a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me weren’t completely sold on the idea. I can play the harmonica. I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I tried it with a kazoo but almost killed a dog in the car behind me. Features I found this piece traipsing through DA. This is gorgeous to say the least. The detail and color are beautifully rendered. I realize this piece is a tad PG-13 but I’m sure you can appreciate it as I have. To see more of this artists work, got o azurestar.deviantart.com. Enjoy. Parting Shots Booze is my anti-anime. Grif

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Thursday, January 3, 2008

How Soon is Now?

Introduction You mean to tell me I missed updating and commenting here for rest and relaxation with no computers anywhere near me? Sweet, I would totally do that again. Not that I need an excuse to not show up around here. Now, before you guys get offended, that was not aimed at anyone at all. I’m simply implying that…well, I’m an unmotivated person who’s easily distracted. Why else has it taken me forever to finish things around here? Have you seen pics 3 & 4 of my anime ad project? Of course you haven’t. I haven’t touched it for what seems forever. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll get it done, it just might be a while longer. Besides, I’ve been cranking out new sketches and refining old one as of late. The two boys that I mentor are great artists. One likes to draw his favorite anime characters and the other likes to create his own original work. However, both are ridiculously talented. I hope to be showcasing their work here and elsewhere. Well, I hope everyone had a great holiday break as mine came to a crashing halt yesterday. No matter, after Monday, I won’t be alone. My condolences to those of you that don’t get any real time off. Me, I had a whole week and a half off so I’m not cryin’ too hard. Alright, that’s enough of that; on with the rest of these shenanigans. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #3: Law of Differentiated Gravitation Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. The Vad Bag Let's face it, Americans are fat all year round, but the holidays are when we really hit our stride. And you can bet the food we eat will be just as unhealthy as the families we're forced to visit. Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. Features This piece was done by an unknown artist. I love the color blue, so my eyes were drawn to this little number. It also helps that Diva is looking very seductive in it. Enjoy responsibly. Parting Shots Since we’re on the subject, has anyone figured out why Diva and Saya don’t just stop fighting and start loving….oh right, I forgot about that whole Yuri thing. It’d be kinda sweet, though. Grif

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

That Happy Something

Introduction Is anyone else feeling like they’re in a time rift set on slow while the world around you is set at fast? I mean, c’mon! This whole year has been a blur. I woke up on January 1st and found out it was Presidents day. I got up and took a shower and upon exiting the bathroom, it was St. Patrick’s Day. So, I put on a green shirt to avoid the obvious and Zealot is asking me if we’re going to go to her brother’s for food and fireworks. Alarming, I know. Just wait, it gets better. So, now I find myself lighting off fireworks, while carving a pumpkin as Zealot’s making pies to go along with the turkey and stuffing. The last thing I know we’re putting the star on top of our tree. Where the hell have I been for almost 365 days?! I’m not a heavy drinker. I don’t hit the pipe or spark up some doobage. I should lie down, but I’m afraid if I do, I’ll wake on New Year’s Eve 2010. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #3: Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way. The Vad Bag I hate when my hand falls asleep ‘cause I know it’s going to be up all night. I hooked up the accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. Now, when I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm long gone. Features I thought instead of posting yet another brilliant piece of art, I’d change it up a bit. This time I’m posting a literary work by yours truly. It’s an excerpt from the newest chapter of my story, (you know the one). Please let me know what you think, thanks. Beautiful Oblivion “Oh my darling, She’s beautiful”, I said to my wife. We looked at our new baby girl with joy and pride. I was beaming as I stepped into the role of daddy. So soft and sweet was she. I felt as though I could just melt away from the slightest glance. A thunder clap explodes across the sky. I was sure it wasn’t supposed to rain today. As I walked to the window and peer through the curtains, I see a great flash in the sky followed again by another booming noise. I glance to the right and then to the left to see where it’s coming from. I stare in awe as the dull orange glow gets brighter and brighter with each passing moment. The town and all of its surroundings are burning out of control. As I stare in disbelief, our friends and neighbors are running about frantically. Gathering their children and a few belongings, they scatter like thistles on a cool autumn evening. Running about aimlessly, trying to find shelter from the fire, they are consumed before my eyes. Entire families losing their lives and all that they hold dear. All the while I sit here and watch this horrific scene unfold, my wife and new child rest, somehow unaware. Completely oblivious to the hell that is taking place outside our front door. Parting Shots I had a birthday to go to yesterday. He’s a great friend of mine. We celebrated his 33rd year on this little place called home. He has much to be thankful for and to be proud of; as well as much still yet to be done. What he’s done so far will pale in comparison to what’s in store for him in these years to come. What they will be, I can’t say for sure. But, what I can say, is that he’ll do his best every step of the way. For God, King and Country, he’ll do what he can with all that he has nothing more and nothing less. Happy Birthday, old friend. 99 best wishes to you and those you hold dear. Grif

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Friday, December 7, 2007

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball

Introduction So, I’ve been in an anime whirl-wind lately. What does that mean? It means I’m trying to watch too much anime at once. So far I’m watching Blood +, Helsing, KiddyGrade, Tenjo Tenge, GunXSword, and Darkstalkers Revenge. All of them are fairly decent, that is except Darkstalkers. This one is basically a six episode/40 min per episode series long commercial for a really bad knock off of Street Fighter. Yes, I played the game when I was a mere scrub out of high school working my first gig at a laser tag arena. Oh the memories that brings back. I digress. I realize that really, all cartoons are are just 20 minute long commercials for merchandise. You see the show, you buy the toy, the lunch box, the bed sheets, the endless posters and what-not. Then, they make a movie and bang, you go out and get all the swag from that little cinematic adventure. (thank you Dane Cook) I was a follower of this and still kind of am. I’m just not as bad…maybe. Bah, I can quit but my desk will be baron! Moving on. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #24: Law of Americanthropomorphism Americans in Anime appear in one of three roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy', a big stupid 'Good Guy' or the ‘Cocky Prick Know-it-all’ that berates and second guesses the smart, handsome/beautiful Japanese hero. First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.) Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors The Vad Bag I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it. I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. Features Try this one on for size. This is what happens when the legendary (in my opinion) Jim Lee gets a hold of a cinematic masterpiece like Ninja Scroll. Bon Apetite! Parting Shots This year’s hot toy item is the Civil War Military Field Hospital play set. It comes complete with two saws, 100 feet of real gauze, needle-nose pliers (for those hard to reach wounds), 3 wooden dowels (for bitin’ down on), and a whiskey sedative/ antiseptic kit. Some assembly required. Grif

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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Is There a Patch or Some Gum for This?!

Introduction I have to say, this whole thing about running hot and cold with my posts is getting crazy. Normally, my work gets the better of me. However, my time is being consumed by another matter. This brings me to a confession that I feel that I must make. This is the only place that will allow me to do such things. I only hope you can still accept me after this startling confession. I’m addicted to Final Fantasy XII. I didn’t think it was going to be such a severe problem until…well, that day. You see I went to lunch with some friends at Paco Hell (no free advertising). I ordered a burrito, a taco and a large drink. When the clerk at the register gave me my total, I tried to pay with 2 gil, 6 pebbles and a piece of earth magicite. He got a bit irritated with me and started to point at me with his +15 angry finger. Thinking quickly, I cast silencega and stop, ran outside, jumped onto my Chocobo and R2 fled. Unfortunately, while exiting the parking lot, I was hit by a car. So, I cast Regen and told the driver that he and his car would be fine in a few minutes. Being that my Chocobo was busted up, I located the nearest anchor and hopped a Strahl ride back to the University of Scorched Horizons. I need help…so…ill. Please, won’t you help…anyone? Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #48: Law of Awkward Incorrigible Lecherability No matter how lecherous or perverted the hero is, he’ll always gain the unrequited affections of the majority of the overly endowed, gorgeous female cast. Often referred to as the “Golden Boy Phenomenon”. The Vad Bag Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!' Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Features Here’s a little number for the Bleach fans out there. Thanks to Kitsune 999 of DA for this. Enjoy. Parting Shots I’ve set my gambits up for Reply to Comments and Esuna. Just in case my boss, Mr. Gabranth starts in with his Nose to the + 110 Grindstone. Maybe I’ll cast some Vanishaga. Long Live Dalmasca…wOOt! Grif

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Monday, November 26, 2007

I Couldn't Eat Another Bite.

Introduction Once again another Thanksgiving Day is in the books and what do we have to show for it? Tryptiphan poisoning, unwipable lip prints from Aunt Gertrude, a distended belly and a bad call from a referee with an over-inflated sense of country justice against the home team. Other than that I had a lovely time with the ol’ fan-damly. Did I mention my work almost burned again? No? Well, it did. Fortunately, all is well at my place of employment. Sorry I can’t say the same for some of the neighbors. I hate it when this kind of thing happens around the holidays, or at all for that matter. Anyway, lights on. Let’s get down to business, shall we? Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #20: Law of Militaristic Unreliability Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song. The Vad Bag Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? My room mate is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk. Features Today’s offering is from another great artists from DA. He goes by the Handle Rex 203. A little something for the mech fanboys, bon apetite! Parting Shots I thought, therefore, I was. Lights out, chumps and chumpettes. Later, Grif

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

If Unconcious, Induce Insipration Immediately.

Introduction After much thought and prep I’m ready to take another step Don’t know where it’s gonna lead Wanna leave it to chance For how long, I can’t say Then again, I never really cared for good byes So for now I’ll keep walking Can’t trip ‘cause my feet won’t touched the ground Can’t lose these words ‘cause my tongue won’t twist That is ‘til we kiss Then all bets from this heart are off Let’s leave it where it is We’re better off Besides, I couldn’t walk away if I tried Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #5: Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science. The Vad Bag Ticketed for DWEC (Driving While Eating Cereal): Four people were injured in Houston in October when a driver failed to stop for a red light while eating a bowl of oatmeal and collided with a transit bus. Three passengers were hurt, in addition to the motorist, and witnesses said oatmeal was found all over the inside of the car, and also inside the bus and on the ground, according to a news report. In a related report, two weeks earlier, in London, Ontario, a driver accidentally lost control of his car while eating cereal, drove through a grassy median, and hit two oncoming cars. No serious injuries resulted So, if someone gets killed, does that make them cereal killers….? What? WHAT?! Features I chose this piece from Adam Warren because he’s got a great eye for the anime look. Not to mention the fact that me likes the dirty pair. Parting Shots If unconscious, induce inspiration immediately. Booze helps too. Here’s to colder days and hotter nights. …be right there, Zealot….Cheers! Grif

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Friday, November 16, 2007

Curtain Call?...

I find myself standing at a crossroad. I feel like I want to continue down the same path I’ve traveled for the past few years. Yet, I feel a pull from another direction. A direction that has been tugging at me for some time now. Honestly, I love being here when I can. I love sharing my words and dreams with you all and anticipating your feedback and comments. However, for the past few weeks, I’ve been growing listless and uninspired. I don’t feel excited to post and unmotivated to comment which isn’t fair to you guys at all. I’ve entertained the idea of a sabbatical, a sort of break, but I don’t know how long it would be or if I would even return. The one thing that keeps me from closing the book on this is how much I’ve grown to love this place. From the first post a couple of years ago to my first friend (Sesshomarumistress), through all of the site updates and revamps, I’ve enjoyed my time here. I can’t say for sure when I will turn out the lights and lock the doors for good on this labor of love. I just know that it will come to fruition, just as it did when I started this grand journey. Who’s to say how long things can truly last? I, for one, cannot. The only thing I can do is use my time wisely and live this e-life to the fullest. Never doubting who I am or why I came to be in the first place. Ever proud of what I did, who I met and what I’ve accomplished. No regrets…that’s how I need to be. After all, I am The Grifter.

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Tuesday, November 6, 2007

One for the Money, Two for the Front Row...

Introduction Here we go again, kiddies! I’m trying to get back some form of normalcy to my posts. It seems when I take some time off or can’t get on to post, I lose my way and forget to come in. Honestly, I hate it when I can’t post, but I get so used to not coming in that I don’t bother keeping up on my visits. That makes me such a bad neighbor and I’m sorry for it. I hope you all had a great Halloween and scored tons of swag, for those of you that care to collect it. I laid low and ate my weight in sweets. Not the best idea but, what the heck, it was Halloween. Anyway, it’s wrap up time so go on ahead and enjoy the rest of the post; my treat. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #26: Law of Mandibular Proportionality The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating. The Vad Bag Crime-fearing female pedestrians in Tokyo can soon protect themselves with fashion designer Aya Tsukioka's skirt that opens into a realistic-looking (except made of fabric), full-size vending machine that she hopes thugs will pass right by. It's one of several fanciful crime-avoiding creations of the genre that Japanese inventors are noted for, according to an October New York Times dispatch. Another, the "manhole bag," resembles a sewer covering when laid on the ground but can hold a person's valuables, again provided that the thug passes it up. Yet another is women's wraparound sunglasses that are extra-dark so that even shy, eye-contact-avoiding females can stare unobserved at potential perverts in trains to guard against the ubiquitous groping. That’s great until the pervert wants a Snickers and a Dr. Pepper. Features Here’s the first of my newest wallpapers. It’s from Death Note and to say the series was amazing is an understatement. If you haven’t seen it, do so. You won’t regret it. Hosted By theOtaku.com. Parting Shots Is it poor taste to give a digital watch to one armed man? Quite possibly, but damn if it isn’t fun to see him try to change the date. To shorter days and longer nights. Cheers! Grif

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