Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Home on the Range...Sort Of.

Most of you are probably wondering what happened to the Grifter. Well, to put it plainly, I'm on vacation in Texas. Sorry I haven't posted in so long. My travels and trip so far have been eventful. It started out with a five hour delay in Burbank and a hotel stay in Dallas. I finally made it to San Antonio on Tuesday morning instead of Monday afternoon. I'm fine now, just a bit tired. Anyway, I'll post again when I have the time. I'm using my wife's grandma's computer. My brother-in-law and I installed a new floor and toilet for her last night at around 1am. He and I are a couple of nightowls. We work best when it gets late. In case you were wondering, my final destination is a small town outside of San Antonio called Kerrville. It's in the Texas Hill country and it's beautiful. Anyway, it's time for breakfast so I'll post a bit later when I can. I'll be sure to take plenty o' snap-shots. There is one in particular I'll post: Grifter in a stetson. I know, seeing is believing cause I'm not the cowboy or country type. Take care and I'll see you...space cowboys and cowgirls.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

In This House - The Grifter

Not sure where I�m going Don�t know how I�m gonna get there Gonna find a way if it kills me Writing and saying whatever When it comes to my mind. Don�t mind telling you how I feel I do this for me and whoever needs to hear Passionate truths or a rhapsody in G It�s all the same so long as it�s different A feast for your eyes to feed a mind Seconds are never a problem, just ask There�s always room for more A welcome sight and familiar face An open place at a table that�s always full Break bread and stay awhile No need to call it a night The door�s wide open Come as you are, no matter who you are

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Friday, July 14, 2006

Summer Theme!

After much toiling and delay, I finally have my much anticipated summer theme up. I hope you guys dig it as much as I do. I wanted to put Grifter in a more casual scene, even though he hasn't quite gotten the hang of tandem surfing. I'm sure the locals will take good care of our friend. As for me, it's almost vacation time. I'll be heading off on another adventure for a week at the end of this month. This time, my travels will take me to San Antonio, Texas. My wife has a grandmother near there that we haven't seen in some time. It's all well and good because I love San Antonio. We'll also be in the Austin area looking at places to buy. Now mind you, The Grifter is not on the move again. Rather, looking to set up a means to suppliment the income. I'll try to update you guys on how my R&R is going but, I'm not sure if I'll have internet access. After the past few months I've had, I need some time off. Other than that, I'll be spending the weekend working on a friends new business endeavor. He's opening up a general store and has asked me to do some graphic/sign design and production work for the place. It looks amazing in there; just like a rustic old general store from the 1800's. Of course it has all of the modern amenities but man, does it look great. It opens in about three weeks and the neighbors are pretty stoked. Alright, that's enough out o' me. Have a great weekend and I'll catch you all later.

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Monday, July 10, 2006

All's Well That Ends Well

Before I start I want to extend my thanks and deepest gratitude to all of you who offered their condolences and well wishes to me on behalf of my friend. I truly appreciate your kind words and your uplifteing thoughts as it was no easy task to say good bye to a friend, let alone sing at his funeral. Thank you one and all. As for the song, it went off with out a hitch. I started to get a bit chocked up at the start but made it through. My good friend Kelly accompanied me and her brother, Chris, another good friend, played acoustic guitar. It turned out very nice. I was trying not to look at my friends widow and child, but I could still hear her sobbing. It was very sad and tough to see. Later, at the reception, she gave me a long hug and thanked me for singing. I told her it was an honor and a privilage and was thankful that she had asked me. It's going to be a rough road ahead but, she'll manage. She's never at a shortage for help and support. As for my friend, he shall never be for want or need. He is home now. Our loss, is heaven's gain. Adieu, old friend. In an unfortunate event, no new truck for the Grifter. It just wasn't in the cards for me. I owed way too much on my current truck to get out of it. Alas, it was not meant to be. Now I'll have to research ways to economize the Bahemoth and eek every last drop of gas out of it between fill ups. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my truck. I'm just tired of getting kicked in the grapes everytime I go to the gas station, as most of you are as well. (well, those who have grapes to kick) So, press on, shall I, to seek better ways to kick the Man back and render his policies and ideals sterile while I hold contempt for the czars of ill-will. Oh, and when I said my BG involved Grifter's "toes to the nose", that means he'll be surfing. I thought it apropos for the summer. I'll resume my current theme, Grifter and Zealot, after that. Thanks again to all my dearest friends here in Otakuville. You truly are Kings and Queens of valuable friendships. Until next time, caio!

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Friday, July 7, 2006

Farewell to a Friend

Finally, a free moment to update. It seems the deeper into Summer I get, the busier I become. Not to worry though, I'll pull through...I hope. My Saturday will be busy and it's not getting off to a good start. I'm attending a funeral for a friend of mine and that is never easy to do. He left a wife and three year old daughter. I have to say they're doing somewhat well. Then again, he was ill for some time, so it was kind of inevitable. I was asked to sing at his funeral as well. I've never been asked to do that before. I hope I can make it throught the song. It'll be myself and a friend on guitar with another friend accompanying me on vocals. We'll be singing "I Can Only Imagine". I feel quite honored to do this for his family. I'll be fine once that part of my day is over. After that I'm taking on the argeuous task of looking for a newer truck. It's not that my truck is old and worn out, I need something a bit smaller and commuter friendly. The gas for my Ram is killing my wallet. It's at $3.25 a gallon and I'm dropping almost $400 a month in gas. Completely rediculous and unacceptable, to say the least. I've narrowed it down to either a Nissan Frontier or a Toyota Tacoma. The Tacoma is my first choice with the Frontier a very close second. So, I'll hook up with my dad (he's looking for a truck too) and we'll wheel and deal and see what comes of it. I'm going to be changing my site theme temporarily for the summer. It'll still be Grifter, of course, but the lighter, more relaxed side. Here's a hint: Grifter's toes to the nose. Can you guess? I think that's it for now. Stay tuned for more exciting adventures. Adieu, Caio, Later!

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Monday, July 3, 2006

One Last Time - A short story from The Grifter (Happy 4th, Everyone)

The sky was a dark gray that day. It smelled of rain and bad intensions as we made our way up the path. There was so much to talk about but, I couldn’t think of a damn thing to say. All of these thoughts floating around my head and not a one was able to come together to form a decent sentence. Where am I going to go with this, I thought. How will she take it? What will she say? Maybe I’m just over-analyzing it. I mean, this could be a lot worse, right? Not sure how it could be, but I was going to find out soon enough. It was getting colder as the wind began to pick up a bit. She shivered a bit. She was only wearing a thin sweater and jeans, so I gave hear my coat. I wasn’t cold. I couldn’t even think of the temperature right now. Too much on my mind, I swear I’d go numb between my ears before my body would. “Thanks”, she smiled. “You’re not too cold?” I asked. “No, I’m okay now”, She replied. I forced a smile as we continued to walk. It seemed like this walk would never end. Almost there, I thought to myself as we passed the halfway point. It seemed like forever since we started. The whole way up, she’s been smiling. My curiosity is getting the better of me when I finally have to ask. “Why the smile?” “Why not?” she said in reply. I looked at her slightly perturbed, “It seems odd you’d have one since we started our trip”. “I figured your face got stuck or frozen or something”. She just smiled bigger and kept on walking. I thought she’d completely lost it or maybe I was losing my noodles. Either way I was a bit confused. Yet, as we walked she smiled and I looked like a confused idiot. I just thought the hell with it and smiled back at her. She chuckled a bit and we proceeded up the path. “It’s up ahead”, I said. My pulse began to quicken a bit and my palms started to sweat. Her smile slowly began to fade away as we reached a small clearing. I was wondering when that was going to happen. She stopped just short of a shear cliff and turned to face me. Her eyes were a cool blue as she stared up at me slightly. She drew in a breath and started to speak. “I know why you brought me up here”, she said in a low tone. “You do?” I replied. “I want to hear it from your lips, though.” Her stare was locked into mine as though she was probing my thoughts for any signs of a hint. I gave her nothing. “I see you’re not going to tell me, are you?” She turned her face away as a tear began to well in her eye. If she only knew the words I wanted to say to her. It would be blasphemy to love’s true intent. The thoughts and feeling I had, weren’t supposed to be there. I hated the way I felt but, damned the fact that I couldn’t say it. I started to tremble as tears began to fall from my eyes. I fell to my knees and wept bitterly. She kneeled in front of me and held me to her chest. “I know what you have to say isn’t easy but, I want you to know that I understand”. She had no idea what I had to say. Even if she did, she would never fully understand my intentions. How my soul was wrought with guilt and anguish. To be rid of these thoughts and memories, I would gladly give it all back. To be held one last time. To know what that kiss tasted like again. To hear that sweet voice and the words that it spoke as they whispered to my heart. This was not meant to be. Not now; not ever again. “Please listen to me”, she asked as her eyes returned to mine. I looked into her eyes and saw what I thought had never been there. A depth of compassion and warmth that I’d not seen in some time. “I have many secrets that I can never tell”. She continued, “This is one I have to speak or I feel I could never be truly yours”. I froze as those words left her mouth. My blood ran cold as my tears ceased for a moment as she began to tell me her story. She started by telling me that she never wanted to hurt me and that she was so very sorry. She said, at last, that it was a cold rainy afternoon when she was given the order to kill. There was a shop girl who had seen something that she was not meant to see. She was to be “silenced” before she could tell anyone. “I had tracked her to a bluff overlooking a meadow”. “There she sat with what appeared to be her husband” She continued on,” I began to feel so jealous and angry; she had something I’d always wanted”. “It made it all the more easily to kill her” she said. “The person that killed you’re wife, was me”. I knelt there as the rain began to fall all around me. It felt as though my world, this sky and all of its stars were falling as well. My mind began to relive that terrible day, frame by miserable frame; moment by life draining moment. “Damn you”, I mumbled as tears began to cascade uncontrollably down my face. “Damn you”, I said aloud. I began to sob even harder. “DAMN YOU!” I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “All this time…” I paused. She began to cry as well, “I’m so sorry…so sorry!” “All this time, you lived in my home and you cared for my daughter and me…” I felt sick. “You and I shared our dreams and ambitions as we lied in bed together”. “I know, I’m a horrible person and I hate myself for it”, she said as tears washed down her soft and gentle face. “How dare you invade me like that?!” I cried out. “I wanted so much to be part of your life and to be part of your little girl’s life; that’s all I ever wanted.” She paused, “Please, you must believe me”. I trembled in fear and anger with my teeth and fists clenched tight. Oh, my dearest God, how can I escape this nightmare? I knew of only one way to stop this charade, once and for all. Deep within my coat pocket was a pistol; a means to an end. I leaned forward, holding her beautiful and treacherous form in my arms as I reach into my coat and retrieve the gun. I hold her close and begin to share my truth. “All this time…I knew.” I could feel her grow tense. “I knew you had killed my wife for sometime, I just never wanted to believe it.” “But how…?” she asked. “Let’s just say that it came to me in a dream; in your dream”. I looked into her eyes and told her about how she often talked in her sleep. She had told me everything. I just sat and listened in disbelief until she went back to sleep. “That is why I brought you here”. “Not only to hear the truth, but to tell it.” She pulled back a bit and with the warmth and contentment in her eyes, she whispered to me “I love you”… leaned into the muzzle of the gun and gently squeezed my hand. She looked at me with a tear in her eye and kissed me one last time. I held her in my arms until she lay still. The final note from a bitter sweet symphony. I swear I could hear “Adagio for Strings” playing softly somewhere. Perhaps in my heart.

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Friday, June 30, 2006

Another Wasted Day

Crap! I gotta tell you guys, as busy as I've been, today was just a slice of heaven. I haven't done a damn thing. Mind you, I'm not complaining. Really, it's just gloating if anything. I'm being paid to watch anime, eat ice cream and play pranks on my co-workers. Ain't life grand? I've been in a bit of a poetry slump. At first, I was cranking out two to three poems a week. Now I'm happy if I can work in one. You see, during the summer when ther are no students, I become busy with big upgrade projects at work. I don't get to visit you guys let alone update more than twice a week. I'm working on a remedy for that. Once I can get a DSL line at home, I'll be able to update the night before. Don't know when that'll be, so stay tuned. It was hilarious. A bunch of my co-workers and I just got back from a nice long lunch (2 hours). The phrase of the day was...Backwards Crab Walk. It came about as we were all sitting around talking and my buddy spouts off with..."Man, that waitress is hot. Bet she'd look insane doing a backwards crab walk naked!" Yes, folks, note the exclamation point after that statement. It was one of those moments when just as you drop the ill-fated, ill-timed comment, the table kinda goes quiet right before you launch your scud of indecency. Of course, while everyone else was mortified and my buddy was turning a deeper shade of red, the other guys and I lost it. Oh and the topper was that our boss was sitting acrooss from him, absolutley epic! Try back peddling out of that little catastrophe. Not likely. Anyway, I'll wrap it up, wishing you all a tremendous 4th o' July weekend, sort of. Late.

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Farewell to Thee, Oh Hero of Mine: A Letter to Anna - The Grifter

To my dearest, This Body is broken and its will shattered. I have given what I could; all that I am. I bare not a grudge for this was my duty. I shall pass so that you should remain. Ever watchful of your moves, ever mindful of your thoughts. Never wavering and always faithful. Even in this state, I will not fade from this land and the hearts and thoughts of those who knew me. For those who never knew me but, knew what I did, they honor me with their prayers and well wishes. With wreaths, roses and salutes they shall send me to the hallowed halls where those who went before me are waiting to greet me. For mine was not in vain but for the righteous cause of freedom and justice. To ensure that those who could not stand on their own, had someone who would do the standing for them. One who would cry foul and break down the wall of disregard and remove the razor wire of malcontent. Let this not be one man’s legacy, but the continuation of a tradition of ideals that stand strong for my fellow brothers and sisters; our fathers and our mothers. For now, let me sleep. I have anguished for this day to come. My banner lies across what once was. Be strong for a child that has yet to come and a father who has gone ahead. I will watch over you and see you grow and flourish. You will mature in wisdom and strength, seeking knowledge and gaining favor. I’ll wait for as long as you need. Farewell, my love, for you are my greatest treasure and my everything. Until we meet again. I love you always, Adin

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Friday, June 23, 2006

Love's Last Request - The Grifter

With strength and passion I hold you close to me. Never letting go for fear you may not return. Alas, the heart that once beat so strong lies still as this world ceases to exist. I am lost in the eyes that looked for the good in me. The lips that spoke love and justice in my honor, gray with each moments pass. Once more, I wish to lay my mouth upon yours and breathe deeply. Inhaling your sweetness and bring about the overthrow of my heart once more. Such a fate is a cruel hand that is dealt so callously without reason, save destiny. Take this life so that this one may have breath again. This tender creation requires more time. My world is baron for you have laid waste to my dreams. I exist in a singular form again. This heart aches for a vital piece has gone. Taken from its nest and thrown to the winds to dance upon eternity’s veil. I am incomplete through and through. If this cannot be undone then grant me this, oh weaver of life. Unfold the arms of He that gives me strength to go on, and grant this fallen child unending rest there in. Let her take refuge amongst the angels. Oh to walk upon the seas of love again with this one, surely I have no other dreams. For long is the journey and weary and lonely, now, is this traveler. Grant me leave from my senses so that memories will not cause me to weep. Let me sleep for a chance to dream of her unending beauty and be still this beating heart for once and for all.

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Somebody Out There Digs This Stuff?

Holy smokes, I just recorded 800 downloads on my wallpapers. Geez, I never thought I'd get a hundred let alone eight. I'm sure its a drop in the bucket compared to such greats as HardLuckWoman and ElvesAteMyRamen, but I'm proud none-the-less. Thanks to all those who have taken the time to enjoy the wallpapers. I submitted a Kikyo/InuYasha wally, but I don't think the head cheeses cared for it. Not to worry, I'll try another. It's been quite a week. I must apologize for not getting to your sites. I know everyone is cool about things like this, but I still feel that it warrants a "my bad" from this end. Yesterday, I was in no mood as I had just finished a poem. Just as I moved my mouse to click the "add post" button, the little cursor (apptly named) jumped around and landed on the "X" on the window! I just sat and stared at the screen in disbeleif. Gone was my poem. Like a dope, I didn't write in word and save it first, like I normally do. Yah, I know, a bit o' numb-skullery. Alas, I was too irritated to try to write it again. I'll write another later today for tomorrow's post. Well, the grindstone's a callin' so, I'll catch you guys later.

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