Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Just Put the Candy in the Bag!

Introduction It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but for good reason. I’ve had three major events at work and a major fire that burned all around the school. Let’s not forget The Otaku being down for a bit. Needless to say, I’ve been a bit busy. Zealot was off of work due to the fire and wind conditions around her work place and I got a couple of days off as a result of the same. Since then, I’ve been trying to play catch up with all of my work. Everything takes a back seat to these big events and when my place of business almost burns down in a fire. Fortunately no structures were lost on campus. All is well in the Grifter/Zealot household as we were far from fire danger. Now we’re just getting the house decorated for fall. That consists of me getting decorations down from the garage and Zealot putting them up in the house.( I would have helped but I had a game.) Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I should be back and at it again at a more normal pace now. Thanks and have a great Halloween! Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #17: Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability Minmei is a bimbo. The Vad Bag Here’s a list of Horror movie safety tips, enjoy. 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. 2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. 3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. However, if you feel you must, dress appropriately; Women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And for pete sakes, bring a flashlight and a gun! 4. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go alone. 5. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, FORGET THE CAT AND GET THE HELL OUT! 6. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. Why you were even out on a lonely road with no spare gas can is beyond reason to begin with. Stay safe, kids. Features A little something to get into the spirit of the season. Parting Shots Message to LS RE: Halloween night Message: Land mines and hand grenades always provide cheap thrills at the expense of destructive little hoodlums in your neighborhood. P.S. Could you tape it for me. Happy Halloween, Grif

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Grifty-modo Wishes for Sanctuary!

Introduction This week is going to be a very busy one. Therefore, this may be it from me for the week. Unless I can get away and post, chances are I won’t be in until next week. You see, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court is coming out to speak on Friday. So, I’ve been getting all of my rooms and equipment ready. In addition to him, there is a book launch for a professor today and a Saturday gig that features a Nobel Laureate speaking to all the tree huggers. All that I manage must sparkle like a jewel. In other words, things must run smooth and problem free in my AV realm. Fortunately, my comrades in arms are coming to my aid. Anyway, I’ll catch you guys later. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #44: Law of Nominative Clamovocation The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced. The Vad Bag Here’s a list of Oxymorons, enjoy. Microsoft Works Alone Together Speed Limit Almost Never Good Grief Same Difference Taped Live Plastic Glasses Tight Slacks Peace Force Pretty Ugly Least Favorite Paid Volunteer Jumbo Shrimp Features I’ve had this as wallpaper on my laptop for a long time. I think it’s pretty choice. Parting Shots Over the weekend I saw two kids transporting a dresser between their bikes. The piece was resting on the pedals and foot pegs of the bikes on either side of it. The two boys walked along the other side as though this was a normal thing. Team looting is the mother of invention. Later, Grif

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Looks Like Eel, Tastes Like Duck!

Introduction So here it is, another year has come and gone. No, not a calendar year, another year here at The Otaku. I realize that I was too busy when the actual date came. Some site host I am, huh? Either way, it’s never too late to acknowledge this small feat. This past September 23rd marked the two year anniversary of the Grifter stumbling upon The O while on an anime search through the Googleverse. Since then, I’ve met a lot of new people, made some amazing new friends and got to know a whole new side of the anime world through this remarkable community. Over these past two years, I’ve laughed with you, I’ve lent some advice and wisdom (I hope), met the founder , Adam, and some of his support team at an expo event I never thought I’d to go to. All in all, I’ve had a great time here and I’m looking forward to another year with all of you. Thanks for making this such a special place for me and my love of Anime. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #16: Law of Inverse Accuracy The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers. The Vad Bag I can remember the first time I had to go to bed. Mom said, "Time to go to sleep" I said "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep." I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone. Features I dug this piece when I saw it. They’re Elemental Dragons by The Udon Crew. Check out these guys and all they’re tremendous work @ udoncrew.deviantart.com Parting Shots Have you ever wondered why its called an oxy-moron? I have. Later, Grif

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Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Squirrel Pelts for Floozies!

Introduction My first game of the season was Sunday night. I had a blast with my new teammates as we scored a 7-1 victory. I had an assist and felt right at home on the ice. However, my legs were exhausted after the second of three periods. The team I’m on is called the Predators with the same jerseys as the NHL franchise. Good news is I still get to keep my number, 99! They almost decided to go with the Kings’ uniforms. That would have been great since they are my favorite team. All in all, I was happy with my play and I’m looking forward to playing again. Not to mention working off some of that fattening office cuisine. That is the down fall of a person sitting behind a desk for 40-50% of the day. Anyway, on to the rest of the post. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #32: Law of Follicular Permanence Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons! The Vad Bag I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done." I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on hem. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. Features Thought I’d throw a little something from my My O portfolio. Hosted By theOtaku.com. This is my most popular wallpaper with 840 downloads. I created this one a little over a year ago. Please check it out and drop a comment, thanks. Parting Shots I found the weekend. She’s been shacking up with LS all this time. I’ll just go for her sister, four day. She’s just as sweet for twice as long. LS; a squirrel pelt and half an acorn and she’s yours.. Later, Grif

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Monday, October 8, 2007

The Sungod speaks: Eat raisins.

Introduction Bah! I hate it when the weekend whisks off into the night with its jealous lover in its convertible motor car toasting champagne to my inevitable long commutes, boring meetings and bland left-overs. The fates, how they toy with my droll days, releasing their traps of folly and shame only for a few cheap chuckles and demoralizing guffaws. I raise my fist to them and shout it from the rooftops, I’M MAD AS HELL, BUT I’M GETTING PAID FOR IT! Oh, to have the fates on a leash. To give a tug and hear them utter, “Grifter, honey, we love you.” Shut up baby, I know it. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #14: Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude The destructive potential of a weapon is inversely proportional to its size. First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon. The Vad Bag An Australian man, went back to court in Sydney, Australia, in August to challenge the "not guilty/insanity" decision against him nearly 10 years ago, claiming that he should have been allowed to call as defense witnesses certain "higher beings" who had ordered him to bash the victim. Those entities included the "sun god," Spacedust, and the "plasma being," Kadec. The court turned him down. Note to readers: I’m changing my site name to Spacedust M. Kadec 99…the M is for magnificent. Features Here’s more from the land of comic books. Bon Appetite. I can’t remember the artist but this is a masterpiece. Parting Shots The weekend is a cheap floozy…she’ll be back. She knows daddy’s got all the sugar she needs. God, I’m tired. Later, Grif

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Friday, October 5, 2007

I Stopped Thinking, Therefore, I Was.

Introduction Yet another week has past, but with it, the onset of Fall. This is my favorite time of the year with all of the leaves changing, albeit minimal being in So Cal. The air gets a bit clearer and the Sun goes down earlier, leaving a nice, brisk feeling. Good stuff…that is until the East winds start to blow us all to Kingdom come. All of my So Cal brothers and sisters know what I’m talking about. Every year around this time, we get a gnarly dry, hot wind that blows in from the desert and sucks every pore in your body dry. It cleans out the air but, man, does it get dry. All things considered, I still love the Fall. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #45: Law of Juvenile Omnipotence Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst. The Vad Bag I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I don't want your job." I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.... Features Well, it’s Friday, so it’s time to do a little self promotion. This is a brand new piece I’ve been working on. It’s very rough and this will likely be a bit different when you see it next. Anyway, here you go. Enjoy. Parting Shots Ever notice that when the Disney Channel goes to a commercial, its a Disney commercial? There’s not one ad for anything non-Disney. None. Self-promotion at it’s finest. Genius. Later, Grif

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Thursday, October 4, 2007

Hold that Bus....Wait, Damnit!

Introduction Great Cesar’s Ghost, did I really miss that much?! Some days do get busier than others, albeit completely out of my control. Usually, when I get run rampant during the day, my body and mind just want to shut it down for the night. These past couple of days was no exception. So far, the TV thing is not looking good. I spoke with a repairman and he’s using really big numbers with dollar signs in front of them. That scares me…a lot. I think I’ll continue to shop around; that’s a lot of TV to just toss out. Ugh, Makes me sick just thinking about it. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #8: Second Law of Temporal Mortality It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming; it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain. The Vad Bag I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit. I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on hem. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. Features Today’s piece comes from another of my favorite comic artists, Michael Turner. This is just one of his amazing and beautiful cover works. You might be some what familiar with the subject matter. Enjoy! Parting Shots So, I got a call from a good friend of mine, asking if I was still interested in playing ice hockey again. (I took a season off to spend more time with Zealot and let my body heal from some nagging injuries.) I said I was but only if it was on a different night. Monday nights were getting a bit difficult with work and wife. After much deliberation, I got an e-mail invite to a team that plays on Sunday nights. This will work out well for me and Zealot. My first game is this Sunday evening, so wish me luck. Later, Grif

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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Make Mine A Double!

Introduction Greetings to all. I trust all is well where ever you are in this fair land. As for me, I’ve had a nice weekend with an unexpected pleasant surprise. Seems my father in-law’s big screen tv tanked on him. The repair man said he’s done all that he could to fix it. New lamp, a couple of new circuit boards and still nothing. So he says to me, “If you can find out what’s broken and fix it, you can have it”. I told him he had a deal; after all, if it doesn’t work out, I’m only out about a hundred bucks. If it does work out, I just scored myself a 55” LCD HDTV. Just in time for hockey season, I might add. Now all I have to do is get that sucker to work. Here’s hoping. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #7: Law of Temporal Mortality 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. The Vad Bag A woman was arrested in Annapolis, Md., in August after she appeared, smudged with fudge, in a hotel lobby around midnight with "large slabs of fudge bulging out of her pockets". A police officer later checked a nearby Fudge Kitchen store and found the door inexplicably open and a large display quantity missing from the front window. Police said alcohol was involved, along with fudge. [Washington Post, 8-3-07] Man, I’m dying to make a fudge-packing joke…calm down, Grif, let this one slide… Features Today’s piece comes from one of my favorite comic artists by the name of Joe Madieria. This particular cover work is from an older Image title called “BattleChasers” from around the earli to mid 90’s. Enjoy! Parting Shots I have this nephew that lives in Washington. He’s 13 y/o and, frankly, he’s my fricken’ clone. My sister calls every couple of weeks to tell me what other kinds of shenanigans he pulls on her and my brother in-law. I gotta tell you. It’s pretty damn hilarious. I mean, he’s doing and saying all the things I did when I was his age. Kinda makes an uncle proud of his hooligan roots *sniff, sniff* Imagine what it’ll be like when we have our first…poor Zealot. *sinister grin* Excellent. Later, Grif

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Friday, September 28, 2007

Smells Like Bad Milk or Good Cheese.

Introduction Sorry ‘bout yesterday. I wasn’t expecting to go AWOL on you, but I was pretty exhausted. Zealot & I were out kind of late on Wednesday night. By the time we rolled into the rack, it was around ten-thirty. Mind you, I’m a bit of a night owl, while Zealot is an early to bed, early to rise kind of girl. Be that as it may, we were both pretty wiped out and went to bed. Good thing to, turns out I needed it. Today was much of the same, but I don’t want to bore you with the details. By the way, I appreciate the requests to see more of my written work. So I think I’m going to designate Fridays as a day to showcase my own works; be it poetry or stories or even some drawings. As Lytjuh said, I should show some of my stuff and not just everyone else’s. Well, with that said, let’s get on with the festivities, shall we? Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #26: Law of Feline Mutation (aka The Nuku-Nuku Factor) Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: 1.Be female, 2.Will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation, 3.Wear as little clothing as possible, if any. The Vad Bag In July, National Hockey League player Derek Boogaard, an "enforcer" known for his willingness to brawl, opened the Derek and Aaron Boogaard Fighting Camp in Regina, Saskatchewan, to train teenage hockey players in that highly essential skill. [Chicago Tribune-Minneapolis Star-Tribune, 7-17-07] …And on the eighth day, He created hockey. Amen. Iran's state-sponsored news agency IRNA announced in July that its agents had broken up a Western countries' "spy ring" that employed more than a dozen squirrels trying to bring "spy gear" of foreign agencies into the country. [Washington Post-BBC, 7-20-07] Further proof that LS is not as crazy as some might think. I’ll say it again; LS, you’re a genius! Features Here’s my first offering from my own collection. I did this as an element to my new layout. However, I think the piece can stand alone. You can check out more of my work @ grifdaddy.deviantart.com. I’m just starting out, so more will be uploaded soon, Thanks. Parting Shots For those of you that give a puck, hockey season is upon us and I couldn’t be happier. Saturday, my L.A. Kings take on that other team from So Cal, the ones that stole the Cup, in London, England to kick off the season. I’m looking forward to this as I’m huge hockey fan. If you’ve never watched hockey or even heard of the sport, I encourage you to check out your local team. Go to a game and I guarantee you’ll never be the same. Something about seeing skill combined with brute force and a dash of finesse all on a frozen surface. Que magnifique, mon amis. Later, Grif

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

You Can't Triple Stamp a Double Stamp!

Introduction Hidey-ho, neighbors. Well since the onset of the new format, I’ve been trying to come up with new and irritating…I mean, innovative ways to entertain. Hence, all the yucks and gags. In doing this, I’ve really had forgotten about my writing. A shame really as I quite enjoy it. So, I decided to start working at the writing and added two more chapters to my epic story, “What Dreams May Come”. I’m not ready to wrap it up yet but rest assured it will conclude soon. I realize why it’s taking me so long to finish it; I’m sad to see it end. I already know how I want it to end, I just don’t want it to. But as you all know, all good things must come to an end. Que Sera, Sera! Look for more of it along with its conclusion in the coming weeks ahead. Anime Law of the Day Anime Law #45: Law of Probable Attire Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines. First Collarly: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Second Collarly: Whenever there is a headwind, a male character’s will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him. The Vad Bag All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store...with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store. I bought a self-learning cd to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the cd had a scratch. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish. Features This one goes out to Elves ate my Ramen, affectionately known to me as Lady Ramen-chan. She made a comment about diggin’ Inu Yasha, so here ya go, darlin’! The artist is Senra from DA. I find a lot of incredible artists on this site often, as I am a member of it as well. You can check her works out @ senra.deviantart.com. Parting Shots I’ve been immersing myself in Final Fantasy XII lately. I’ve had the game since December but hadn’t even opened the plastic wrapping ‘til about a month ago. Some may say I’m crazy, others may be amazed at my self-control. Me? I knew that once I started it, was going to be buried in it. I was right…Zealot missed me. That is until she…wait, there’s younguns about. Let’s just say she a smokin’ hot woman and I’m a weak man with needs. Nighty night, kiddies……..Gigiddy!!! Later, Grif

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