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Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Looong post.

So some of you wanted to know where the overnight trip was..
We stayed in Warren, NH at the Moosilauke Ravine Lodge.
We stayed in this big bunk house that had four different rooms.
One for the girls (Ashley and I), one for the female staff (Carlie, Melissa, Rita, and Nate's grandmother), one for the boys (Nate, Gavin, Jonathon, Nick, Jesse, Steve, and Tyler but he ended up going home.) one for the male staff (Aaron), and there was Gregg, he was the awake staff and he just sat in the hallway all night long.

When we got there we put all our stuff in our rooms.
I had the biggest bed in our room, but Ashley ended up snagging it from me and made me sleep in one of the bunk beds.
The bunk beds had three beds, and I slept on the second one.
I didn't want to be on the bottom, and I didn't want to be on the top.
Soooo...
I slept in the middle.

After that we had to chose what activity we wanted to do.
There was fishing, swimming, or hiking.
I wanted to hike, but it was only Jesse and Aaron going, and I'm really horrible at hiking. (They were gone for hours too. They got to the summit of the mountain. I would have died.)
I ended up going fishing.
It was me, Nate, Nick, Steve, and Tyler who went fishing.
Where we went was too shallow though.
We fished in the river that was near our bunk house.
Having no luck there we went back to the bunk house, and some people ate.

Nate and I ended up going to the lodge to play cards.
He taught me how to play 21. (Black Jack)
When you play you get two cards.
One faced down, and the other face up.
The object of the game is to get 21, or at least closest to 21 than the other person.
So, once you add up the two cards you have you can either stay, or you can say "hit me" which means you're asking then to give you another card.
If you go over 21 it's called a "bust", and that's when you're done playing.
You can use poker chips when playing, but you don't have to.
If you use poker chips you have to bet.

We stayed in the lodge forever though.
Till dinner time which was at 6:30.
All the food they served was family style.
They made this African Peanut soup or something like that, and it sounded really nasty and looked really gross, but it was actually really good.
It was really spicy though, and my stomach can't handle stuff like that.
So, I thought I was going to have the Hershey squirts. ._.
Rita (nurse) gave me some tums though.
It didn't really help.
They had salad after that, and I wanted some but I didn't think it'd be a good idea to have any.
I'm the only vegetarian from that school so they made me a vegetarian meal for the main course.
It was basically what everyone else was having which was orange chicken (I think) only there were chunks of tofu in the orange sauce.
I took a bite, and it was fine, but then it tasted like vomit.
I almost vomited right then and there.
I spit it out in my napkin, and I went downstairs to get some air.
The desert was good though.
I don't remember what it was.
Everyone was calling it "space cake" though because it melted in your mouth.

Aaron took Nate and I for a moose hunt. (Not actual hunting.)
We drove down the road at night looking for moose, but we didn't end up seeing any.
We saw a mouse though! XP

When we got back we went for a night walk.
We walked on this trail in the woods in the dark with no light.
The only light we used occasionally was the flash light.
That was fun.
We were all tripping on rocks, and stepping in water.

Then we all went night nights when we got back.
The boys wouldn't shut the hell up, and I wanted to keep the door open because I was ascared. >_>
So, I could hear them talking and staff having to go in and tell them to be quiet.
Eventually they settled down, and I eventually fell asleep.
I didn't sleep too well.
I was sweating my butt off even though it was cold out.
I was sleeping in my sleeping bag, and my feet have to stick out otherwise I get really hot.
So, if I stuck my feet out the rest of my body was exposed and then I'd get cold. -_-

I woke up to the sound of something sounding like an airplane getting ready to take off.
I went into the hallway, and it was Gregg on his laptop.
I was like, "Hehe! Hiii!" when I got out of my room and saw him. O_O
I don't know why I did that.
Haha..
But it ended up being 6:10 AM when I woke up.
I thought it was later than that.
I wake up at five AM every morning so my body got used to waking up early.
I ended up going to the lodge to take a shower.
It was nice and hot.
I was expecting it to be cold.

I went up at the lodge and sat there and zoned out.
I was just like staring at stuff and drooling. >_>
Nate's grandmother was up there when I was there.
She probably thought I was insane.
Not that I'm not.

Finally it was 7:30.
That was breakfast time.
We had oatmeal, and blueberry pancakes.
The pancakes were yummy.

After breakfast we played this game called Ah So Co.
It's too hard to explain, so I'm not gonna.
When we were done playing that we had to clean the bunkhouse, and pack our crap up and put it back in the vans.
We changed into our bathing suits too.
We were all going to go swimming at this spot that Carlie, Jonathon, and Gavin found on Monday.

It was an awesome spot.
There were rocks you could jump off of into the water, and little waterfalls.
The water was friggin' freezing though.
I was walking in the water, and then I slipped on the rocks and I fell into the water.
I screamed because it was so cold.
I ended up swimming though. (Sorta. I can't swim.)
There were bunches of Swallowtails flying around. (Butterflies)
I loved it there.
I layed on a rock in the sun, and watched everyone swim.
It was like heaven.
No joke.

This kid Nick was down river fishing, and he wanted to go in the water.
It took him like twenty minutes to finally make a decision to jump in.
So he jumped in off the rock and he was like, "OHMYGODDD!! IT'S SO COLDDD!!!" and he couldn't see because he didn't have his glasses on so he went one way and couldn't get out, then another and he couldn't get out, and then finally he stood up and grabbed his penis and was like, "It's still there!!" and scrambled up onto the rock hugging his knees rocking back and forth saying, "I'm so cold! I'm so cold!"
It was the funniest thing ever.
Everyone was cracking up.
Of course you would have had to been there for it to be as funny as it was.

We stayed there for the rest of the day till it was time to go.
We got ice cream.
I got Purple Cow.
Which was Black Raspberry ice cream with white chocolate chips, and little blueberries in it.
Everyone was joking about how a cow had to die for me to eat that ice cream, and that I was eating a dead cow.

I fell asleep on the way back to school.
When I woke up Ashley was like, "Brittany, you look so cute when you sleeepp!! You sleep with your eyes half open!"
I was like, "Uh... I do??"
Ha..

So yeah..
That was the trip.
It was fun.
I love all the kids at my school.
I mean, they get on my nerves at times and I want to stuff socks down their throats, but..
I still love them.

When I got home my mom was sleeping, and Gavin was on my bed.
No one was excited to see me. ;_;
Sylvester didn't even come to see me, he stayed hidden somewhere.

I've got bug bites on my neck, and on the top of my head, and on my hand.
They're itchyy!

I didn't go to school today because I was supposed to go to the doctors to get my weight checked.
My mom didn't want to bring me though, when I had already stayed home thinking I was going to be going.
I need to get into driver's ed.
My mom is seriously starting to disappear in front of my eyes.
She's too afraid to drive anywhere now.
She's beginning to become afraid of everything.
I really can't rely on her anymore.
I already know I'm going to have to take care of her the rest of my life.
Which is fine, because I love my mom.
Sometimes I just wish she wasn't so ill.
Everyone gets mad at me when I won't go somewhere or do something, and it's because I'm afraid to leave her alone.
I hate having to leave her.
I'm afraid she'll kill herself or something.
Or she'll have a mental break down, and end up in the hospital while I'm gone.
I already have a feeling that she'll probably be going to the hospital for the whole summer.
Which will land me at my grandparent's house.
Which is far away from my friends, and I wouldn't be able to use the net, or sleep in like I like too.
I'd be forced to go to church too.
Bleh.

I just want to run away this summer.
To one place in particular.
Though I know that won't happen.
It's too far away, and I don't have enough money.
I wouldn't be welcomed there anyway.
I already know that.
I just want to be there so bad with that one person.
I want that person to be next to me so bad.
I want to converse with them face to face more than anything.
But..
That person hates me..

My mom found my iPod while I was gone.
It was in the couch.
Silly took it and hid it up in the couch.
There's a hole in the bottom of it, and he climbs up in it and sleeps there.

Gavin is in pain.
You can tell by her eyes.
They look so sad.
When she jumps up high she'll cry.
It's sad.
Her tummy looks weird too.
I wish I was here for her after the surgery.
She went through a life changing experience, and I wasn't here to comfort her.
I'm a bad momma. ;_;
Photobucket

Anyway..
This was a wicked long post.
I've been thinking about making a new MyO.
I don't know though.
It's not like many people still come on here.
Not many of my friends anyway.
Thanks to those of you who actually are still my friends, and still talk to me.
I love you guys.

Adios.

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Monday, June 16, 2008


My kitty Gavin is getting fixed today.
I wanted to go to the vet with her, but I can't.
'Cause her appointment is at 9:30 and I'll be at school then.
But she has to fast for 24 hours, and she's so hungry. ;_;
I feel sooo bad!!
*Sobs*
My other cat Sylvester, had to suffer and not be able to eat.
But my mom just gave him food and water.
I hope everything goes well for her though.
I know she's just getting fixed, but she's so tiny and I'm afraid something bad will happen to her, and I won't be here. ;_;

I'll be gone from today until tomorrow.
My school is having an over night trip, and I'm going.

I currently can't find my iPod at the moment, and I'm going to be bull shit if I can't find it.
I think Silly stole it and hid it.
Which means it'll be lost in the house, and I may never find it.
He just tried stealing a whole pack of crackers.
ARGH!!!
EVIL FERRREEETTTT!
I'm going to go look for my iPizzle now.

I hope you guys have a good Monday.
Bye byeee!

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Friday, June 6, 2008


Some of you may remember when I had my very first site, Simpleplanluver.
How I was like incredibly popular on there, and I had tons of friends and crap.
Then one day I couldn't log in, and I made another site called Simple Plan Lover, and some people found me.
Well, I had accused Caitlin of deleting it because we were in a fight about some idiotic thing.
She denied it, and she got her mommy involved and her mom was saying she didn't delete it.
Well, she did delete it.
She guessed my password, and deleted it.

She did the same with Past Time Girl.
I even have proof.
'Cause she admitted to it.

PRPLDANCR (4:26:52 PM): Oh yea, I didn't hack either of them. Found out passwords and deleted them. Just thought you'd like to know.

That really pisses me off.
Simpleplanluver was my very first site on here, and it was my life.
I met tons of people, and she had to the nerve to go and fucking delete it.
Did the same with Past Time Girl.
Now she's actually trying to delete my life it seems, because she knows that the stuff she's saying is hurtful, and she knows I take things literally, and she knows I'll act on it.

I remember in our first fight I tried killing myself because of her.
Total waste there.
She's defiantly nothing to kill over.
But her response was "Have fun!" or some crap like that.
She wonders why I don't like her anymore.

But I'm not going to waste my time on you anymore.
You can keep on complaining about me, and insulting me.
But I'm going to ignore it.
Because I'm going to move on with my life, for I have one.
Hopefully you'll do the same, because it's done and over with.
I don't think we'll be friends ever again, and complaining about it isn't going to make us friends.
I'm not apologizing for anything for I haven't done anything.

Some advice to you though is..
I really think you should learn about mental illnesses, and how they effect people.
Then maybe you'd understand why my plans with you would always fall through.
You'd also have a better understanding of those who might have depression or anxiety, etc.
You should also stop insulting people.
Think before you speak.
Or actually, if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all.
Stick to that.
Don't hit people either.
I was so used to you hitting me and stuff that I'd flinch around other people when I thought they were going to hit me.
You should probably see a counselor too, I think it'd help you.
And over all you really need an attitude change.

Also, I know you'd like to have a mental illness.
Don't know why, because they're really not fun.
But I think you wish you were diagnosed as something so it'd explain your actions, and you'd get attention for it.
'Cause I can already see that if you were diagnosed Bipolar you'd probably tell everyone that the day you found out.
Bipolar isn't fun, it's not even something you should wish you had.
Any mental illness isn't something you should wish you had.
But I don't know..
I could be wrong about that, it just seems that way.

So feel free to "vent" as you call it about me all you want.
Though I think you should honestly move on.
Thinking about me, and putting all your energy into hating me really isn't all that healthy.
And anyway's, if you hate me so much why do you keep complaining about me?
You'd think you would have moved on by now.

I'm sorry to everyone who always has to see my drama.
It seems I'm a real target for drama, and cruel speaking.
I'm sorry you all had to read it, and have to read it.
I'll be done with Caitlin today though.
So I'm hoping after her, nothing else will happen.

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Thursday, June 5, 2008


You know what Caitlin?
You're a fucking whore.
I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

You want me to die?
Well, ditto.

You say I'm fake?
I'm not fake.
Got nothing to fake.

I don't use people either.
Instead I'm used.

If you hate me so god damn much, get the fuck over it.

And you know what?
There was a point where you were taking pictures of your cuts.
So stop being a fucking hypocrite.

You say I'm whiney, which I find fucking hilarious.
You whine about every god damn thing possible.
So shut the hell up.
I can't help the fact that my life sucks ass, I have the right to "vent" as you would call it to people if I so please.

Now how about you go get a life instead of posting about me all the time.

What she posted about me:

You know what....
You're pathetic.
Everything you think bad about yourself, it's true.

Honestly...
Fucking get a life.

Stop being a using bitch.
Be real for once, not fake.

You're right about one thing.
You are a shitty friend.

Shittiest friend in the world award you said you once deserved.
Hah wait, you can't even get that since you're too useless to be considered a friend.

I hope you do hit the right vein one day.
And bleed yourself dry.

It'd be better than you being fake.
And so whiny to everyone.

And no one wants to see your cuts.
So why bother putting pictures of it.

Bloody love..
Boo fucking hoo.

Have a nice life.

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Monday, June 2, 2008


I'm so angry right now.

Here's the deal.
If you have nothing nice to say about me, I don't want to know.
I don't want tude from anyone, I don't want any crap from ANYONE.
I already have enough shit going on without needing anymore.

So, I'm asking nicely for people who have nothing positive or remotely nice to say to me, just don't.

Everything's rubbing me the wrong way.

The madder people get me, the stupid shit I do.
'Cause I don't know any other way to cope.

So, got nothing nice to say, don't say it at all.

I know I'm a bitch.
I know I'm an ass hole.
I know I'm a shit head.
I know I'm a retard.
I know I'm a sensitive little piece of crap.

I know I'm all these things and so much more.
I get reminded everyday that I am, and I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

Fuck it.

I'm not going to post anymore.
There's really no point.
There's no point of my being here anymore.

I'm so depressed right now.
I just want to slit my wrists, and fucking cry.

I have no friends anymore.
Not online or off.
I'm lonely as all hell.

I just.. give up.

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Sunday, June 1, 2008


It's been very apparent that it's easy to forget me.

Right?

Right Ashley?
Right Emily?
Right Brendon?
Right Ashli?
Right Veronica?
Right Jenny?
Right Jen?
Right Dayday?
Right Rayven?
Right Addie?
Right Kiki?
Right Clari?
Right Ari?

All of them have forgotten me.

It is easy to forget me.

After all, I'm not much to remember.

People I see everyday don't even know my name.

I'm that invisible.
I'm that unimportant.

Once people start to hate me, or dislike me they forget all about me.

Maybe I take it so to heart because I don't forget people.
I get too attached.

People leave me in the end.
Even when they promise they won't, they end up doing so.

I don't know what's so bad about me.
I don't know why people like to treat me like I'm a worthless piece of shit.

I probably deserve it.

I just wish I wasn't so easy to forget.

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008


So for some reason I can't sign into my other account, Past Time Girl.
Which means I'll be using this one or something.
Dunno.
Not like anyone probably noticed that I had turned that site off.
Soooooo...
There's really no point being on here anymore.
Only two people bothered to see if I was okay.
Those people were Annie, and Becki.
Thanks for caring about me, girls.

I am so lonely.
I used to talk to all my friends on here, and now I only talk to a select few.
The one's who haven't left me.

I'd like to say fuck you to those who did leave me all alone.
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!

You have no clue how much that has hurt me.
It's messed me up.

I just want to thank those who still stayed with me.
I love you guys.

I basically spent my whole weekend in bed because I'm so depressed.
Yesterday was the only day I didn't.
I went canoeing.
I got sunburn, and I smashed my knee on the front of the canoe getting out, and it started bleeding.

Now I have to go to school, and I'm probably going to get crap because I didn't answer the phone.

Should I stay on MyO?

Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that is how I feel right now. I feel like I'm facing everything by myself. With nothing but tears and a fake smile.

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Sunday, January 20, 2008


Well.. I can't get onto my other account..
I was logged in, and then all of a sudden I had to log back in, and I tried, and it brought me to the page that says click if your browser doesn't load or whatever, and I did that, and then it brought me back to the page to log in again.
*Grumbles*
I don't know what's wrong with it, and I had just gotten a new layout from Kaisa!!!
ARGH!!!
DAMN IT!!!!

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008


My mom's trying to hospitalize me.
Right now.
And I can't stop crying.
It's not gonna make fucking school go away!
UGH!!!!
Fucking make it GO AWAY!
I'm gonna puke.

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Monday, January 14, 2008


Sorry if I worried/scared you guys yesterday.
It's nice to know that some people care though.

Ashley and I patched things up yesterday.
I was just so afraid of losing her, and seriously without her, I really do have nothing left.
Life is majorly sucking for me.
She's the only thing in my life that's good.

In fact today is a month for her and I.
*Smiles*
Crazy that it's been a month.
It seems like I've been with her forever, but then it feels like we became a couple just yesterday.
I love her though.
She means everything to me.
She's my everything.
I want to be with her forever.

So, yep.
I'm not dead.
Woo.

xoxo Britty

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