Sunday, November 4, 2007

My mom's really angry.. To the point she's going to do something. I can't handle this. Jesus Christ. This is when I wish I had a cell phone, and am able to call someone. She's on the phone now, so I can't very well do that. *Sigh*

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Saturday, November 3, 2007

My mom and her boyfriend went to see Pink Floyd last night. I hate Pink Floyd. I stayed home alone while they went. Even if I wanted to go, they probably wouldn't have let me. At least she had fun, so I'm happy. I got to talk to Kiki, and Ashli. So, I'm good. Hmm... yesterday when I was in ROTC class, Commander was inspecting everyone's uniform. So, he came to me and he was like, "What are you so happy about?" Apparently I was smiling. I said, "I don't know. He goes, "Well, you're going to be even more happy when I tell you, you're cross dressing." XDD I was like, "I am?!" See, my belt buckle was going the wrong way. There's a way for the guys, and the girls. So, I got an 85 because of that. -_- In bio yesterday we had to scrape the inside of our cheek with a toothpick and then look at it under a microscope. It was disgusting. Then we looked at duck weed under a microscope, and we weren't allowed to touch that or the water it was in because there were tons of microorganism in that water, and the teacher found a worm in there. >_> We had to stand outside for color guard, and it was freezing. My hands were like ice. So, Kerri was like, "Here put your hands in my shirt." I put them in her sleeves, and she told me to grab her arms so I did, and she almost screamed because my hands were so cold. XDD Then she started dancing with me. Ha, so I had my hands in her sleeves, and we're dancing. Funny. My kitties slept on my bed. Sylvester was hogging the bed. He laid like right in the middle. Gavin slept at the end of my bed. I loves my kitties. They're my babies. Banana is my bird brain baby. *_* Anyway, I hope you all have a great Saturday. Hopefully my post didn't bore you to death. Britty

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Friday, November 2, 2007

She has another girlfriend, and I feel jealous. >_> I don't know why. I'm happy for her, but I'm just jealous. I feel like I'm going to puke. *slaps self* STOP FEELING THIS WAY! Ahem.. Anyway, my site totally rocks all your socks. Admit it. You've never seen something more pimped out, than today. O.o Okay, maybe you have, but it's still awesome. Today is uniform day for ROTC. *grumbles* The only good thing about it is that I won't be cold. That material keeps anyone warm. What's it called again? Ummm.... Polyester. That's it. Ha, everyone is getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and not me. Thing is I could have a girlfriend, but I don't want to hurt her. She means too much to me, plus I'm going through a lot right now. *Bangs head off desk* I need a life. I hope you all have a great Friday. -Britty Oh, and I realize that you can absolutely not read my text without highlighting it. I've tried tons of colors, and they either look awful, or you can't see them. So, you'll just have to highlight. Sorry. :(

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Thursday, November 1, 2007

I am SO tired. *falls asleep* I'm going to school today, to stop the fucking nonsense that's starting. Went to Salem, Mass yesterday. The ride there was so incredibly boring. We almost got in a car accident too. I hate the city. Not my setting. I'm a town girl. There's too many people in the city. So, we met up with my cousin, and we took the subway to Salem. We saw tons of people dressed up. All the girls looked like skanks. Pissed me off, to tell you the truth. I saw these two girl's holding hands, and they kissed. Made me feel.. Envious. We went to the Salem Witch Museum, and I was a bit disappointed. It wasn't what I expected. They talked about Rebecca though, and when you walk into the museum there's this board, and it has the names and dates of the accused. Her name was on there about three times. I took pictures, of that. Couldn't of anything else. Seriously though.. It sucked. On the way back to Boston, from the subway my mom almost got into a fight. There was some girl, and she was in a bad mood, and it irked my mom for some reason, and this guy was gonna sit next to her and she goes, "That's not cool." O_o I was thinking, "Oh God no. -_-" He goes, "What do you mean it's not cool?! You're on a fucking subway lady, there's millions of people. I need to sit somewhere." And one of his friends was with him, and she was so totally fuck faced, but she offered to sit next to my mom if that were better. So, she did, and you could totally tell she was plastered, she couldn't even keep her head up. The guy apologized, and so did my mom. He told us he was gay, and my mom blurts out, "So is my daughter!" -__- I don't mind that people know, but she tells everyone about my personal life. Not that I have one. Oh, and as we were walking to get on the subway to go back to Boston, there were fireworks, and I saw this girl holding this other girl, and they were watching them together. *Sigh* I want that so badly. I'm pathetic. Anyway, I have to get ready for school and try not to fall asleep. I hope you all have a great day. Britt EDIT: Changed my theme, I know it's not great, but it's going to be this till I have time to make an Ouran High School Host Club, one.

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween everyone. ^_^ My favorite holiday of all time. <33 I might be going to the Salem Witch Museum today. Thing is I feel like crap. I really wanna go though. I've wanted to go since I found out I was related to Rebecca Nurse. So, I don't know.. I'll probably fall asleep on the way there. I've been groggy. If I do go, and we're allowed to take pictures I'm gonna try. Then I'll show you guys. Rebecca Nurse If you want to find out about Rebecca, click that link. Mwahahaha! .... >_> She's my great, great, great, great, great, great, so on and so fourth Aunt. Ummm... I'm going to be changing my theme soon. Either to Ouran High School Host Club, or butterflies. Something, anyway. I suggest you all watch OHSHC, it's an awesome anime. It's a romantic comedy, and I swear I was laughing so much. XP It's my second favorite anime now. Anyway, it's time for me to puke now. I hope you all have an awesome day.. Again.. HAPPY HALLOWEEEN! Boo! xoxo The Witchy Bitch.. I mean.. The Witchy Britty XP

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Otaku finally works. I was seriously bored out of my mind without it. I have now realized that Otaku is about 95% of my life. That's kinda sad.. Thank God Adam could fix it though. Thank you Adam. It's like 5:19 AM, and I'm tired, and I don't feel well. I might stay home. I don't know. My heart hurts, like it doesn't burn, but it feels like it's being crushed. My body aches too. Hmm... So, on Friday I was talking to this girl Chantal, and Ali was behind me for like three seconds, and I didn't even know, and when I turned around I screamed. It was kinda funny. I'm going to try and stop liking her, not that, that's going to happen, but I'm gonna try. You know.. I wanna run away, but I have no where to run away too. My mom's talking about moving to Boston, that would have worked out if that was like a few months ago when Emily still lived there, and she still liked me. I'm not leaving this place though. She'll have to kill me first to get me there. It took me a long enough time to get used to living here, I'm not gonna try living in Boston. Anyway, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, and then lay down. Oh, how are you guys? Would you mind PMing me? Have a good day. -Britty

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Friday, October 26, 2007

My mom came home yesterday. I still feel uncomfortable being in the same room with her. It's going to take a long time to build my trust with her again. I went to Caitlin's yesterday after school. We were outside, and she hit her ear on the window of her camper, and she split it open. It was bleeding a lot, and I was like freaking out. >_> When she was laughing.. O_o Hopefully it stopped bleeding though. Umm... We went down in her basement, and I think there's like pot hidden in there somewhere, because I kept laughing. Haha.. There was a Daddy Long Legs crawling along the wall, and I screamed. lmfao.. Then there was a lady bug, and I was all holding it, and crap. Oh, yeah.. At school, my platoon was called to attention during homeroom, and when you're at attention you can't talk. So, Ali comes along and she goes, "How's that wall looking Brittany?" Ha, and I laughed.. She goes, "You're not supposed to laugh or talk at attention, but that's okay." Then she took my bag. Haha.. If it were someone else, they probably would have dropped me. "Drop and give me 75!!!" Ha.. Right. Anyway, that's all for today. I have a game to go to tonight, if it doesn't rain. It better not. I get to see Ali. So, yes. Have a wonderful Friday. xoxo Britty

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Today is a bad day. I already know, and it's only 5:32 AM. I just want to go back to bed, and save myself from the day. My mom goes to court today. She might be coming home today, or tomorrow. Depending on what the judge says. She called yesterday, and I accidentally picked up. I said hello about a million times, and she was like, "Brittany? Brittany?" I knew it was her, and so I said, "I can't talk to you mom. I can't." Then I gave the phone to my grandma. If she comes here my grandma has to report it to the police, and then she'll be put in jail. She can't talk to me till tomorrow. I want my mommy. She's not crazy, so if you all think that stop thinking it. She's just ill, and needs help. Lots of help. So, yesterday when I found out she might be coming home I started freaking out. She's not well enough to come home. I don't want her to do anything, and if she does come home I can't live with her. Which means she'll do something, and then I'll blame myself. See, it all boils down to being my fault. I know you're all going to say it's not, but it is. In some way or another it is. Just like everything else that has happened in my life. I cut last night. I had to. It made me feel a little better. There's blood on my pants. I wish it was me in my grandpa's place. He did NOT deserve that. He's helped her when she's needed help. I on the other hand, have caused her all the pain, and guilt she has. So, I wish it was me instead. I wish she had killed me. Ugh.. Well, it's time to start my fucking shitty day. See ya. -Britty

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

My feelings are starting to get the best of me. Which means she's probably not going to talk to me at all. I don't want that. So, I'm going to have to control my feelings. You know.. Color guard is my major support group. The girls there are really amazing. Kerri kept hugging me yesterday, and then Becca did. It's strange. I'm not used to being hugged. Normally I don't let anyone see me sad, especially my mom. So, when ever I was I wouldn't let her see. I'd handle it my own way. Which obviously wasn't the right way. One more day and I'll get to talk to my mom. I can't wait. I miss her, and I want to know how she is. My grandma went to visit her yesterday, and they have her on so much medication she couldn't even hold a conversation due to being so tired. My grandpa will be coming to stay tomorrow night, and I really don't want to see him. I don't mean it in a mean way.. It's just.. It's hard enough being in this room, because it's where most the stuff happened. It's going to be harder seeing him sitting in here, and I'm sure it's going to be even harder for him, and I'm thankful that he's willing to stay here. Ali talked to me yesterday. Just looking at her makes everything go away, and a lot of people don't have that kind of power over me. Especially just by looking at them. I love her, and I don't know her. I wish I wasn't so damn shy. It's hard to look at her, I'm so hard on myself, I just don't like it when people talk to me. But yesterday I was feeling so lonely, and all I wanted to do was be around Ali.. So, yeah.. I hope you all have a great day. xoxo Britty

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Monday, October 22, 2007

I'm going to school today. I actually want to. Being in this house of course reminds me of what happened Saturday night. Seriously.. If you knew my mom, you would have known that the way she was acting that night wasn't her. I still can't get the look of her face out of my mind. It was just so evil. So distant, so cold. I had to wash the sheet that she tried smothering my grandpa with, and there was blood on it. Then everything just flashed before my eyes. *Sigh* I know it may seem like I'm weak or something, but I'm not. That was just the most scariest thing I've ever seen. Kiki drew me a picture of an angel. Kiki's fanart So, click that link and take a look. It means a lot to me. Thank you Kiki *hugs* I also want to thank you all for your comments. Although some bothered me. My kitties slept with me last night. My cat Sylvester misses my mom. So does Gavin. Anyway, I hope you all have a great day. xoxo Britty

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