Sunday, March 27, 2005

   My Lifa as a Student....
The last two days have been fucked; even though it's been easter i haven't been able to enjoy it as I have had to work. Friday was my first full day off since uni started three weeks ago. Then on Saturday I had to work for 12 hours washing dishes. The $30 an hour pay was really good but we were so busy that I didn't get to have a break or sit down for the entire time. I was to work another 12 hours today but I only worked for 6.5 because my fuckwit boss assumed that I couldn't work Sunday nights for some unknown reason, how can I possibly work on a Sunday night if they haven't opened on a Sunday night again. To make things just that little bit worse the bosses wife treats me like a complete fucking dumbarse, Which I'm not...

Early this week I have to get all my computer pracs done as they are due for marking by friday. The following Monday I have a Physics test on the first 4 weeks of stuff that we have covered. On the same day I have to hand in a shitty annoted bibliography which i still ahve to start. If I make it through the next 2 weeks I'll be really fucking happy.

To compact the stress of the next two weeks I have to find out what's happening between Loren and I. A couple of weeks ago she told me that she had a crush on me even during high school. Since then I have seen her once for like five minutes and it wasn't even alone. She tends to ignore me on msn and I'm unsure wether she still wants anything to do with me. The constant thoughts about that have distracted me from my studies which isn't so good. If things are still on between us hopefully somthing can happen in the one week break following Anzac Day. Right now that one week off looks like such paridise yet at this satge it seems so unatainable to me its not funny.

Looking backa t my life since I left school it has occured to me that I have only had one week off in that entire time. Its hard when you leave school andd go pretty much straight into full time work. The stress it puts on you is almost the same that of high school. I never had any time to stuff around and enjoy myself as much as I would have liked.

I'll be the first to admit that to a certain extent I've been a introverted recluse. I could count on my hands the people I still talk to; who also went to school with me. I never had much of a social life to begin with but full time work cuts it down even further. As a result I've only seen my friends a hand full of times since school finished in early November. Even finding the time to do the things I like has become a hastle. The last time I climbed on real rock was back in January and that wasn't the best day of my life. ATM the weayher is so perfect for climbing that I find myself agitated and annoyed when I can't feel the texture of the rock under my hands. I've always been a very down to earth person; for yaers I played in the dirt building roads and whatnot for my match box cars. later it turned to rock climbing to get to my roots and when I can't do it I feel empty inside. The truth is that climbing makes me happy and it provides an opportunity to be social with people I know.

Although Dodson is a school teacher he acted like my guiding light through the uncertainties that the HSC bought with it. He stoppped me from lifting off under the stress. On days where the sun is warm but not hot the rock can bring with it the most wonderful feelings to your hands. It soaks away the worries and fears of the world. Hopefully now that I have Sundays off work I can get back into climbing outside, I'm always less tired and happier with myself when I've been climbing.

Thats enough rant for now;

~Gumby.