Saturday, December 1, 2007

   arkansas
im sorry that i havent been updateing my file. well i offically HATE arkansas. i wanna go back to california and be with all of my friends. i miss ryo, saskai,and ai sooo bad. i reall y wanna call them because i need to atleast hear they're voices. i really need to talk to ryo because he always knows what to say whenever im down like this.. i miss him ALOT. well so far here in arkansas i have been called just about everything you can think of. i dont understand why, i dont have a problem with anybody here. but they have a problem with me and it hurts bad... but im old enough to take it but i just cant wait until i get out of this place. i wanna go back to california for college im through with my fantacies about japan i actually looked into going to college there and im able too i had it all worked out. now ive changed my mind im going to california i need my friends.
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

   new school
new schools suck expecually if you move to a new state to an extremely small school. im not kidding im in a class with 6 other guys no girl no one else talk about small!well ive made one girl friend her names emilly and loves anime other then that i am friends with only guys theres john when me and him walk by each other we playfully hit each other bac and forth, and james, mica, rj, randi, gabriel, jeramy, jarrod, daniel,colby,carter, and other guys that i cant rememder theyre name. but the one i wanna tell you about is bradly ohhh he is so cute on the first day i saw him i felt wierd then it turns out that hes in every one of my classes except 1st and 8th. and we ride the bus together and we flirt BIG. and we walk toghether during passing and hit eachother and he plays with my hair messing it up on purpose and every time he sees me he runs up and whispers hi in my ear. every1 says we should go out but i dont want a relationship not after my past.is that right or should i go for it? and i miss all of my friends back in cali mostly ryo, and saskai and saya. i miss them sooo much i try to talk to them as much as possible but now that school started its extremely difficult because of the 2 hour difference it SUCKS. but i hope they'll never forget me cuz i know i wont them.

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Thursday, July 5, 2007

  well sorry i havent been up dateing my profile lately well a while back ago i went to arkansas and i came back a couple weeks ago. and im so happy that i got to talk to all of my friends expecially ryo and saskai. but now saskai is out of town and i dont know when she'll be back.(tear) well i got a new bf and i dont really know what to do because there are three other guys that i like that still like me and i see two of them all the time . and i dint know what to do. well i got the new hana-kimi when i was in arkansas and im so happy. now i need to get the last three books to ryo so he can read them. when i leave im gonna miss all of my friends expecally ryo and saskai
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Saturday, May 5, 2007

   *sniffle*(crying)
ok the guy that i really and trully like doesnt really like me anymore and that makes me cry. obviously he likes another girl and now he is totally ignoring me. he wants to forget about liking me i dont really blame me. i hate me too i let the guy that i really like get away from me and now i cant do anything about it. i have cried many times and no body knows it but i have. so those of you who like somebody take a chance and tell them they may like you back. just dont wait to long or you'll let them get away and then you'll be miserable. like me.
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Saturday, April 21, 2007

   love
ok guys offically are skums and jerks. they say that they love you then they brake your heart.ok let me tell u why. i was going out with this guy charles. after a while i fell in love with him then i noticed that he ws missing something in his heart and i knew that i couldnt give it to him so i broke up with him. then over christmas brake i went to arkansas. when i ws coming back to california i get a call from my friend sierra saying that charles was hit by a car.i cried myself to sleep for over two weeks every night. then one day at church my friend crysta said that charles said that he hated me, i asked him why and he said that i didnt say woopie doo when he got hit. i said i ok and ran back into the church crying. then some time passed and me and tanner got together. then i found out that my friend ivan wanted to ask me out but i was going out with tanner so he couldnt. i made sure not to fall in love tanner him because what charles did to me. but after a while i thought that mabey tanner was the one. then on march 23 he had a party and i went at that party i fell in love with him hard and fast. this love i felt for tanner was deeper than any love i felt for charles. i was looking forward to our one month anniversary on march 28 and it went perfectly. then the next day there was a huge rating festival i had to go to after i was done eating my lunch i got up to go throw away my stuff when tanner called me back. he said that he wanted to break up and wouldnt tell me why.... perfect timing. i was a complete and total emotional reck before the performance. then after a while charles asked me back out and i said that i needed more time. then two weeks later he tried again so i said yes. only to find out that ivan was going to try and ask me out again.and the worse part is that i think i want ivan also. so here i am going out with charles, wanting ivan, and still in love with tanner. so guys SUCK. but most of all love sucks. but no offince to those of you who have found love. and to those of you who have let me share one of my favorite sayings from hana-kimi spoken by minami nanba---- cherish the one you love because you can never have the same love twice. when one love ends even if you fall in love with someone else you can never have the same love. even love matures its like a flower. cherish it while it blooms--so to the people who have found true love listen to this saying and never let that love die.....
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