Saturday, December 30, 2006

   December 30, 2006

Well. I didn't get any sleep again. I can't explain it... but I really felt like calling Leigha. . but I didn't want to wake her, or make her parents mad.. I don't know, I guess I was just waiting for her to call me with a problem..

And..I found one of my problems..It's just, I'm sad about my birthday..I mean, I thought this year, I could spend it with friends, and the only person right now that I really wanted to spend it with, was Leigha. And she's going to an Anime convention the same day..I don't know if I should be..mad , or frustrated....or ...depressed :(.. I just remember what I did last year, when I went up to Lucky Peak with my dad.. and we visited my best friend's grave..I cried for nearly two hours.. and that whole week I felt like I wasn't worth the world..that I was always going to be mourning again and again as the same day came and as ..I would feel the loss of my best friend over.. .I'll..probably..do that again this year.. Since I know I won't be able to see Leigha...I just ..don't know what to do, because maybe a miss feeling may make her sad along with how im feeling right now..
She was making me so happy yesterday, just hearing her voice made me happy..until i heard about that..And ..I still feel...so sad.. I don't know why, but now I'm dreading something, thats 3 months away..my own birthday. I miss her so much, and I wish she could hear my cries from inside.. *tears*
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