Sunday, February 20, 2005

   I review things!
I've always wanted to post video game reviews or something, but I don't have the time to play entire games, so here is this week's version of
Gary Feldman's Random Demo Disc Review Thing!
O.P.M Disc 90:
Area 51- part two of this series of fantastic demos does not dissapoint, it's waaaaaaaaaay harder than the last one, but still satisfying to shoot the living shit out of freaky mutants and in this part, creepy governement super-soldiers! Marilyn Manson guests as a dead corpse possessing freak named Edgar, David Duchovny voices the main dude,
Good things-
Marilyn Manson!
Shooting is solid as ever
Blood and enviroment effects are creepy
Bad things:
No more squad
Super-soldier A.I is inhumanely tough!
Smaller health bar
Overall-3.5/4

The Punisher-Long awaited and well worth it!
Interogations are fun, featuring an innovative control system and gunplay is simple Max Payne-esque run-and-gun style, with a berserker mode in which you can knife the holy hell out of enemies, human shields are infinitely helpful, and special kills are creepy as hell!
Good parts:
Interogations are brutal
Witty dialogue and story elements will bring worth often disturbing chuckles
Controls function well
Bad parts:
No gore in the demo
Hand-to-hand interogations wear out with use
Could have been longer
Overall: for sadists, 4/4, casual gamers who something really fun, 3/5, for the squeamish, 0/4,

Musashi: Samurai Legends-
First, I have to mention the fucking beatiful graphics, see how many times I say "fuck" in this review, they out-and-out fucking rule! Anime-style cel shading us easy on the eyes, fucking brilliant character designs and let's not forget the spectacular death animations! Fuck, they're stunning!
Fucking simple real-time combat is great, fucking flawless in this respect, I just wish the bosses weren't so fucking hard!
Good parts-
Amazing graphics
Great gameplay
Cool deaths
Bad thing-
Bosses are too damn hard
Overall: 3.5/4

SLAI-
This sucks, I'll sum it up:
A poor man's Amoured Core,
And by the way,
That sucked too,
The End
Good parts:
The opening cinematic
The game ending
Bad parts:
Awful sportz-meddle soundtrack
Terrible cloaking prevents you from looking at your custom mechs
Awful characters
Incessant crapful dialogue
Vapid, souless backgrounds
Terrible fighting system
Wants to be Amoured Core, at least it succeed in sucking out loud,
Overall:1/4

Death By Degrees-
Does God hate me?! Two bad games in a row, yea, awful controls, another right-analog stick fighter, Jesus, it's the worst one yet, stupid story, your character moves with all the grace and speed of Gimpy from Undergrads, terrible sniping section just frustrates, the only fun is using the double-fisted pistols for the first time, but even that gets boring whem you realize that Rise To Honor has better shootig controls, and Fight Night is more fun,
Good parts-
Capping people is fun once
Good cinemtaics
Seminal graphics
Bad parts-
Infuriating control
Crippled movement system, I thought my controller was broken, for Christ's sake!
Enemies suck ass
Overall:Impossible to rate, sucks too much,

O.P.M Disc 89:
Mercenaries: Playground Of Destruction-
This game is so hopelessly addicting, blow stuff up, blow it up again, blow the holy fuck out of it, nuke the remains!
It's terrorism made fun!
Excellent graphics, great character designs, fully destructable backgrounds, tons of vehciles, weapons and explosives to use, and this massive level has two areas to terrorize, a small, civillian village and a massive military complex, all your's for the bombing, GTA-style gameplay is great, and arresting people for no reason is fun, complete destruction will take you about an hour and a half, so have fun!
Good parts-
Too many to list,
Bad parts-
The civilian village is better protected than the goddamn fortress
is!
Overall:4/4

Comments (3)