Friday, January 5, 2007

   5 months later i shall post again
..
the past few months ...well things have gotten better and worse
my mom found out about all the drinkin and huffin
so im grounded... till march 5th...
already been grounded over a month
and im still on probation... which is worse now
i go to drug treatment court every wednessday
i have to take drug tests twice a week
i go to alcoholics anonymous meetings every thursday
and im about to start at connecting point
(a drug/alcohol abuse rehab thing)
its 3 days a week, about 5 hours a day
but ive stayed out of jeuvie at least
if im really good ... if..
i will graduate drug treatment and get off probation
june 21st
thatll be over a year stuck on probation... wasted almost
but hey, once its done
i aint gettin caught doin jack shit ever again

jordan is cheating on me
with more than one girl
and im grounded so i cant do much about it
otherwise id catch him, kick her ass, and be done with him
but for now...
im just sittin around.. waiting in a loveless relationship
just sittin at home
and goin to depressing AA meetings
and feeling as close to dead as ive ever fealt
nothing is real in my life
i gotta stay sober for 6 months
thats like getting your leg broken
and the doc sayin you cant have advil
all i want is a drink to make all the color come back life
and i cant have one
cause they give me random breath tests to detect alcohol
yea
my lifes a shit hole
6 more months....
of puttin on a happy face and actin like im ok
and only posting the truth on this website (not myspace)
cause i dont want my friends to know
but i cant stand keeping it bottled up all the time
and i know that jordan doesnt love me like he says
weve been off and on for a year now
we have talked about being together forever
maybe i was drunk...
maybe he was lying..
either way it dont matter
while im going through withdrawal and fighting with my family..
while i go to my meetings and my court dates..
he is out gettin high and sleeping with other girls
......
o well, screw him
lying basterd
im just waiting to get ungrounded
and waitin to graduate drug court
and waiting to get off probation
waiting
waiting
and when i get to that point in 6 months
do you know what i think im going to do....??
im gonna go sit on the tracks by my house
with a bottle of vodka
and a pack of cigarretes
alone
without anybody else
and curse the world
for making me wait so god damn long
to start ending my life again

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Saturday, August 26, 2006

   life the past 1/2 year....
well i cant even remember being on this site....
i dont give a fuck about peta nemore. lol those days r long gone
i got in tons of trouble 4 drugs and shit... now im on really strict probabtion with piss tests once a week
skool is gonna start tuesday i think and i missed it so i cant wait
i barely passed my freshman year, they had to look bak to my old skool for a credit i had earned ther...
yea ive been sober 4 2 months (excluding yesterday) but it wasnt as good as it used to b so i think im about dun with weed
bring on the beverage! lol
no really i have been without alcohal 4 like a month straight so im cool on that
its nice not wakin up evry fuckin day with a hangover and rememberin the day b4
lol
i did rehab... that really sucked...
i was in the weirdo ward again bak around new years 4 like a week... 85 painkillers and i fuckin fainted... im not suicidal at all nemore
emo kids can go to hell
didnt move in with my dad bcuz i have afew 2 many "issues" to deal with rite now... mayb he will let me once im off probation... i hope so...
i dont really like anime that much nemore either... its really gay...
i dated a 20 yr old hottie 4 a while but my mom told my p.o. so we broke it off
i went missin 4 2 days after gettin drunk with sum friends... i slept for like 2 hours in a building they were workin on at bowsher. that was like a month ago. wen i went home i went straight to jdc (detention center) for like a week
i saw that place alot during the last few months of school cuz i kept skippin
i missed a total of like a month or somethin of school
i had fun tho...
wow, so much to tell... im gettin bored with it so thats all 4 now...

o yea, i dyed my hair black and red with a lil of my natural left in it
its sweet!
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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

   just realized that i havent been posting much....
thats cause im always on MySpace.com. so if you are really that interested in my life you should go to my profile there. its the same sn. hanzahn, or hannah i guess. idk. find me i suppose..... and you can read my blogs cuz im bored with theotaku.com ..... so yeah......... you should ... or you could just call me, you know i do have a phone.... 419-382-5946..... if you are interested.... watch, some psycho stalkers gonna call me now.... oh well, bring on the stalkers.........
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Sunday, January 29, 2006

   "whats new in hannahs life ?" you ask..... well, lets seeeee.....
1st off

IM DATING A SMEXY MEXI!!!!!!!!!

ME AND JORDAN ARE FINALLY TOGETHER!!! SqUeE! 4 mE!!! we've been 2gether 4 almost 2 whole weeks .... wow we are practicaly married... JUST KIDDING !!!! LOL!!!! but things r goin pert near swell! (:


GoT mAjOrLy FuCkEd Up FrIdAy NiGhT!!!! *_* I hAd 2 MuCh fUn!!! YoU hAvE No IdEa HoW lOnG iT hAs BeEn. lOl. I wAs aLl HaPpY AnD wHaT nOT! lOL!

LIFE IS THE SHIZEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sunday, January 15, 2006

   NO SCHOOL TOMOROW!!!!!!
i fully intend on having endless amounts of non stop fun tomorow cause guess what.....


N ! WEEEE!!!!!
O !
!
S YAY!!
C !!!
H HIP
O ! HIP
O HOORAY!!!!!!
L !
!
! ! ! !
!
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   holy shit!!!! i wrote a hip hop song!!!!!
ive been writing songs more lately and today i wrote a hip hop song! how unnatural! i despise hip hop!!...... i must admit though that its one damn good hip hop song! lol.
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   john is my bestest friend in the whole wide world
we went to the movies last night and had so much fun! hes so sweet and fun and easy to talk to. i ove him.... ONLY AS A FRIEND. im serious this time people! hes like my best friend and even though he has a crush on me, i swear to fuck im keeping it that way!
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   hannah met a girl!
shes 14 and perfect!!!!!!!!
we're into alot of the same things
we're both bi and proud of it
shes kinda deep like me too




only 1 problem




she lives in california
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   oh jordan...
so i saw him at the mall friday and he says hes way over angel and he really wants to go out with me... im so confuzzled
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