Sunday, November 6, 2005

   so much drama
omg theres always to much drama between mark and i. hes all serious and is thinkin bout marriage but im not ready to be serious like that. i really really like him but hell im only fifteen

Comments (2) | Permalink

Sunday, October 30, 2005

nevermind
no i dont
Comments (0) | Permalink

   i love mark!
i love mark!
i love mark!
i love mark!
i love mark!
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

   im so evil
im really starting to bug myself. im evil. i cant say how but trust me, i am. im not sure what to do. i need to make some changes but i dont know where to start. i dont even know what needs to be changed. i cant define right and wrong anymore.
Comments (3) | Permalink

Sunday, October 23, 2005

   went to bowshers homecoming.... SOOO MUCH FUN!
SO yesterday at about 4 angela picked me up. i had this oober cute red/black dress. we went to her house for her to get dressed and we matched in color scheme so the photos her mom took are probably super adorable. then we went out to eat at this really nice jappaneese resteraunt. i fell in love with seaweed salad .lol. then we went to bowsher and got there 45 minutes late at 7:45. and i 4got my ID so my uncle came to rescue us and take me to get it from home. we finally got into bowsher at like 8:30. ad all our friends were ther . it was so fun! this guy i know from the skatepark slow danced with me. i took tons of pics and me and angela got ours taken together professionaly. we probably looked like a les couple. lol.anyhow it was way fun!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, October 21, 2005

   ohhh my god
you'll never believe what I did. I just wrote Mark a message asking him to take me back and that I love him. And im going to call him.and i cant wait to hear what he has to say. i really hope he takes me back, but i think he has a new girlfriend.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

peta
people for ethnical treatment of animals
Comments (0) | Permalink

   ello darling...
ive surprised myself by not going back out with mark. i love him... its just a different kindof love... anyways, i keep getting called down to the counseler in school about being depressed and crap. i thought i finally got away from that when i left tcs ... i mean, they had to notice things there, it was so small and personal but at bowsher theres like 300 freshman alone and apparently i stand apart... what are the odds...
i am depressed again though, i feel detached... numb really... the other day when i was feeling particularly "numb" i stuck a safety pin in my arm just to see if i could feel it... i went deeper than i evr hav before and ive gone pretty deep... i barely fealt a thing... i feel... dead
the urge to cut again comes with the feeling. i quit afew months ago and havent fealt the need to in a while ...but now... now i do more than ever. i want to bleed... i want to feel the pain... i need to feel it... or at least, i need to feel something...
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, October 7, 2005

   im soooo bored
.......nothing to do........
i hate being grounded ......


oops, 4got to call trever.....
its too late to call
oh well
he'll wait.........

soooooo bored.............
Comments (0) | Permalink

   its been too long.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO MUCH HAS CHANGED!!!!!!

well lets start with the biggest change of all... I BROKE UP WITH MARK! omig!!!! it may come as a shocker cause last i talked to anyone i was still insane over him but things changed after a while and i realized how totaly dependant and dedicated i was to him and... ::sniffle:: it just wasnt me and theres a bunch more reasons but i wont be posting those for all the world to see...

anyways!! i also met this cool college guy, branden, we're not going out and most likely we never will cause im not THAT into him but hes reall cool... i guess if you want more details youll have to call me though... im not completely shameless after all.

ive also made a ton more friends at school and at the skatepark... possibly including afew guys and a girl who may or may not be interested... i really dont wanna get tied down to anything right now though, im having way too much fun... oh wait I ALREADY DID!!!! it still hasnt really clicked because of the suddenness but... i guess this is another "call me" issue if you know what i mean. seriously though, things have been going REALLY great lately... even though i cant go anywhere for the next 2 weeks for being late for curfew. grrrr!! its ok though, im lovin it!


Comments (0) | Permalink