Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Kirito | The Freelance Maniac:

Arent you lucky! As long as you keep him on your
side, carrying out acts of mass murder and
theft should be a piece of cake. However, Kiritos
about as predictable as a blind dog with
rabies. Watch your back.


Who's Your Jrock Partner In Crime?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nothing else to say really except that:

* Dad's decided i have to start studying for my permit.

* Ever since the dance it seems kind of awkward between Brian and me, since we don't talk as much as we did before.

* Major project assigned today worth 50 points due in one week.

* Was stuck in the school parking lot ALONE for ONE HOUR...

* Almost lost my CD player today.

* I'm so close to getting my dramas. I just need something called VobSub?

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

welcome back, yahiko. i missed you~ (and sorry if you're not reading this ^^;)

i'm watching a drama called "Sekai no chuushin de, ai wo sakebu"... sundays at 9 on channel 18. it's started already, because the first episode i saw was the 3rd or 4th. so... huong is getting the drama on disc for me :D apparently, it's a really depressing story. i saw a video clip of the first 1 minute and 15 seconds, and even *that* was sad. ;__; i guess asian people are depressing. hahaha...

there are exactly 30 days until the school year is over (and i'm counting weekends here, unlike gilroy). freshman year went by really quickly. a lot of things have changed... i've become a different person. if, say a year or two ago, i were to predict what i would be like in a year, i would be completely wrong. is that a good thing? a bad thing? i don't know. for one thing, i never knew i would be borderline A in science. i never knew i would go to a dance, and slow dance with a guy. i never knew i would end up with no idea as to what college i want to go to, or what i want to major in... (supposedly i was supposed to have that all planned out by now, but... i guess i didn't plan enough). even my assumptions from august were really off. like... "hm, i think mr. jett's calss is going to be really interesting." hahahaha. i can't help laughing at that.

i've been talking to a lot of people about sadies. it seems there's been a lot of regret going around.

"i should have asked him to dance with me"

"i shouldn't have asked him to go to the dance, because he didn't want to go in the first place"

"i should have spent more time with him"

the basic story for the guys was: "i can't believe she made me go with her." haha. i'm glad i didn't ask anyone. i wouldn't want any guy to be thinking that about me.

me and deyannah were talking about how we're probably going to remain dateless all through high school. hahaha. it was funny. and also how guys should have been honest if they really didn't want to go to sadies. they should have just said so, because there was really no point if they weren't going to have a good time... XD

well i think that's all for today.

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Monday, May 9, 2005

today was mothers day. i LOVE my mom. she's so patient about everything. if you want proof: i've never been yelled at. ever. *nod* i can't imagine how she does it. if i were her, then i'd have kicked myself out of the house by now. (haha, i'll never be a good parent) she always takes the time to help me with my homework, cram for whatever test i have, or teach me the math that mr. iseri doesn't. XP i know i'm nowhere near the child she deserves to have, but i guess she ended up with me, so i'll try to be bearable for her. ^_^;;

school is almost over and according to... everyone, mr. jett still has a big project to give us. which really sucks because we're still all working on our rocket project. i'm going to miss school. i really am. i know i've complained a lot about CAMS, and a lot of times i regret not going to SHS like my parents wanted me to, but when i think about it, i'm really happy being here. three years ago when i first heard about CAMS, i thought "that sounds hard, i could never get into that school." one year ago, i was faced with the choice of whether to apply or not. i almost didn't, but i got some advice from one of my college friends, who encouraged me to apply, so i did. when i got in, and decided to go... well, my mom told me she was actually hoping they wouldn't accept me ^^; haha. i remember the week of orientation, i made a list of what i thought of all the teachers. i look back on it and think "wow i was so wrong" hahahaha... but whatever. i can't imagine being at SHS anymore, even though i miss everyone~

yahiko is still not back yet. ching helped me calm down a little... at least i'm not panicking about a few rather unfortunate possiblities... but i still miss him. and i'm still really tired of waiting so he better come back soon. and i'm still kind of worried. but i'll try to be optomistic. and i still have to finish the gift i made for him. well... i don't know if it should be colored or not. because i mess up on coloring a lot...

i finally passed matsuri japan today. very fun. even though it was only a C ^^; i'm getting better since i've been able to pass more 9-foot songs lately, and i've been getting more C's on them rather than D's (even on MAX2!)

the 9-foot songs that i've passed so far:

* Broken My Heart
* INSERTiON
* Maturi Japan
* MY SUMMER LOVE
* Break Down!
* i feel...
* Kakumei
* rain of sorrow
* SO DEEP (PERFECT SPHERE REMIX)
* TSUGARU
* TWILIGHT ZONE (R-C Extended Club MIX)
* Xenon

hm. tomorrow is school. the weekend went too quickly. XD

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Sunday, May 8, 2005

sadies!

friday was quite busy~~

to start out, we went to the park to sail our boats. it was rather hard to get the hang of it, but after it sailed quite well. the only problem was, when we finally got a teacher over to grade our sailing, the keel broke off. so i don't know what will happen with that. but whatever. the rest of the time we got to spend eating, playing, or doing whatever we wanted to. ms. brakel got mad at me for studying while i should have been relaxing though ^^; there were quite a few birds at the park. kind of strange. the geese were really annoying. XD they were so loud~~! the ducks were ok except that there were so many of them. i was afraid they were going to knock our boat over. XD;

but birds weren't the only thing that knocked boats over. one huge boat started crashing into all the other boats~! haha. everyone was like "stay away from that boat over there" and so we were always like... on the other side of the pond. the pond was kind of disgusting. the water was all brown, and i hated to grab the boat from out of the water since it looked so dirty... >__>;

there was a party in japanese class for kodomo no hi. plenty of food. we even had some mochi! haha. and arare. so fattening, but so good~~~~ *_* hall-sensei forgot about the quiz she was going to give us. but she did give us another assignment for the weekend.

after that, i went to alyssa's house. she had fun trying to curl my hair (which we failed at miserably and had to fix with the straightener) and putting makeup on me. i made the huge mistake of letting her take a picture. but whatever. x_X;;

then it was time for sadies. we went, and for the first half hour there was like.. no one there. and all i could think about was, "hey, if hall-sensei remembers over the weekend that she didn't give us our quiz, then she might give a quiz on monday! i should study" haha. i'm such a nerd.

then people started showing up and i introduced her to everyone. basically we hung out with the asian crew (well those of us who went *cough*xuemin, huong*cough*). so anyway it was juliette, juliette's friend, anthony (juliette's date), madonna, vicky, me, and alyssa. juliette and her friend danced a lot. vicky and madonna danced too, but not as much. and it took a while to get alyssa to dance. they wanted me to, too, but they didn't get me to... not even with physical force! haha. for one thing, i can't dance. and also, i didn't like the music (all hip-hop and rap) haha. everyone was trying to get me to dance with a guy. specifically, everyone was trying to get me to dance with either brad or brian. (but of course, i wouldn't dance with brad... i have a thing against stalkers)

it was kind of creepy because i think brad wanted to ask me to dance but never did because, everywhere i went, i saw him. like i would just turn around, and he would be right in front of me, staring. it was crazy. he was like... following me. o_O;; but i *did* hang out with brian a little. he was trying to get me to dance too, except he was like really polite about it. he said stuff like, "it's ok if you don't want to, but i'd really like you to dance with me"... haha. juliette and alyssa kept telling him stuff. i don't know what though, because the music was on too loud for me to hear what they said... haha. what a conspiracy.

later, the asian crew went to take group pictures with the photographer who was there. it took forever, but i think they turned out quite nice. ^_^ and when we came back, we saw our english teacher dancing with Jay! o_O; it was quite entertaining. i've never seen any teachers dance before. haha. i hope someone got pictures of that.

the slow dances came up and the first time i just sat around and watched (OMGackt kent and madona make the cutest couple! :D) but then the second time, alyssa pushed me towards brian, and grabbed my hands and put them on his shoulders. and at first i said no, but i had said no to him so many times before (normal dances and such) and he looked kind of sad and what not... and also i promised alyssa i would do one slow dance... so finally he was like "may i have this dance?" and then before i knew it, i was dancing with him. i had no idea if i was doing it right or not, but soon after, i saw this orange light and jumped out of the way because i knew alyssa was trying to take a picture. haha. well the song wasn't over so we went back to dancing and alyssa got a picture of us. hahaha... after he thanked me for dancing with him and what not. and after that brad started staring at me more, especially when i was around brian @_@ this stuff can be so confusing sometimes.

at the end of the dance, brad's friend bobby and his date katie came up to me and were like "um, will you dance with brad? please??" >__>;; i didn't even really know them, so i just said "i don't want to dance..." and they both said "but it's the last dance! please~~?" and right when they said that, they stopped the music. XD

wow... i still can't believe i had my first slow dance last night. o___o; i'm really surprised. although i felt really awkward and everything, it was kind of nice in a way... i guess. *shrug* maybe he really *does* like me?? >___>; or then again, maybe not. haha. but the entire asian crew seems to think so. even madonna thinks so now. even though the entire week she was like, "don't ask brian... ask brad!"... at the dance she was like "*nudge nudge* go ask brian to dance with you" haha. o_o;; it's so strange...

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Saturday, May 7, 2005

whoa.

i slow danced with someone.

i'll talk more about it tonight.

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Friday, May 6, 2005

happy children's day, everyone. even though according to the myotaku calander, it was "yesterday"

---

hah. i don't have to ask anyone to the dance anymore.

the reason? alyssa's date couldn't come. so now she doesn't have to feel bad about me not having a date when she has a date, because... well, she won't have a date. we'll be dateless together :P w00t.

to celebrate, i've been listening this one song all day. specifically, "Mizuiro Girlfriend" by Plastic Tree. just for the irony of it.

but it's kind of creepy because the moment i don't have to stress out about the whole asking a guy to the dance thing, now i have to go back to the topic of "OMGackt brad is such a stalker."

because on the bus today i constantly saw him with his cell phone out trying to take pictures of me... like on the bus, me and kent and allison were playing cards. so i was just looking at the cards and then i glanced up, and there was a cell phone camera right in front of me. and so then i hid behind my cards hoping he wouldn't notice, occasionally looking up to find that... there was still a cell phone camera right in front of me ... x____x; omGackt. that's so... creepy, annoying, and a lot more...

ahhh if the only guys who like me are going to be complete stalkers like that, maybe i really am destined to not find anyone. i certainly prefer being alone to being stalked. some people are like "aww it's so cute that he loves you so much" but personally, i just hate it.

well mike's taken up his "i'm going to hit you in the head with the umbrella" thing again. haha. he says it's fun to see how i react. haha. it's a pretty big umbrella, so i kind of back away, even though he never even hits me hard with it. just like taps me on the head with it. but i guess it kind of is fun to watch me react to it XD lol. but this time kat was with me. i said, "you're killing my brain cells" and when she realized that, she was all "hey! don't do that! or else i won't be able to copy her homework again!" haha.

so peter and lynh are going to sadies together? apparently it's been known for a while. it's funny how it takes me forever to learn about things... haha.

ah, well anyway today was our field trip. we had a pretty good time. except we had to eat lunch in the rain. ^^; the azn crew loves to take pictures. they filled up more than an entire memory card, just in the 6(?) hours we were out. lol. including:

* fob pose pictures. V^____^v haha. very very fun. even johanna did a fob pose. and she's not even asian.

* fake suicide pictures. basically meaning they were standing on the edge of a not-so-steep cliff. but we shot it from an angle that made it look like it was steep.

* pictures of bernie looking like hide. she seriously looked like him. all she needed was red hair and it would be perfect... she's going to send me the pic, and i'll fix it up in photoshop to give it that bright red color it needs.

* pictures of us hugging trees. well just xuemin and juliette. the rest of us just kind of stood there. ^^;

much more too. lol. i need a copy of ALL of this. lol.

tomorrow we're going to the park to test our sailboats. i hope our group's floats. because we'll get a bad grade if it doesn't XD; but after we sail, it will be a really easy day. we get to just relax at the park all day. :] and then in japanese we get to have a party! ...after the quiz, that is... haha. oh well, hall-sensei always makes the easiest quizzes. *nod*

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Thursday, May 5, 2005

2.3k hits! w00t

well anyway...

if i were someone else i would laugh at me.

the main reason i was going to sadies was because our english teacher was giving extra credit points for going. but as it turns out, she's not. so look where that got me. now i have to go to the dance. with a date. and slow dance with him??

ok an explanation:

my friend alyssa, who is the same one who wants me to go ask someone, was like "hey, you should dance."

hmmmmm... let's think about this for a moment. i've never really danced in my life. really, the closest thing i have to dancing is ddr. and people tell me "if you're really good at ddr, it probably means you suck at dancing in real life" haha. XD;;; so i suck at dancing. so i told my friend, "i don't dance" and she said "at least slow dance with him!"

a slow dance? she says it's simple but isn't a slow dance like for couples or something? i thought if i asked him we were going as friends...

and by the way, i haven't asked yet. if i avoid getting a date, i avoid having to dance. even though i promised alyssa i would ask someone. but you know... i've always been a loner, and i've turned out fine (erm..), so i may as well stay a loner. seriously though, my parents told me that when i was in preschool i would always walk around by myself and never play with the other kids ^^;

it seems that most of the freshman population thinks that i should go ask brad. because he likes me. but like... there's the entire "ewww stalker" type of thing. there's only a few people who are on my side:

* julien, who says "you shouldn't have to ask someone if you don't want to."

* bernadette, who really doesn't care, but still agrees with me XD

* katy, who says "everyone thinks that but i don't think you two should go. he doesn't seem like your type." (OMG thank you so much katy~~!)

even my parents want me to talk to brad more. they even suggested i ask him to sadies. of course they still have no idea of what's going on. i came so close to telling them but didn't XD

i've been considering telling alyssa that i asked and he rejected me but she already knows that both brian and brad would say yes if i asked them. x_______x; and even if she didn't know, then she would probably ask them "why did you reject her?" and they would be like... "um... i didn't." so i don't think that would work.

mike told me i should just go, because it will be fun and what not. but that's not the point. i'm sure it will be cool and whatever. but i don't want a date XD i'm not supposed to be liked. haha. really though.

well, whatever. if all else fails, i'll just go with brian, and hide in the bathroom until the slow dance songs are over XD wahhhhh why can't they let me be a loner like i should be?? XD;;

anyway, i'm sure you're all quite bored of hearing me complain about this stuff. don't worry, by friday i'll quit talking about it, since by then it will be over (hopefully).

---

oh yes, the "spam-100-people-with-this-message-or-i'm-killing-myself-and-blaming-you" guy hasn't imed me since saturday. and i hope it stays that way. of course, i haven't been staying up as late, so i don't know whether he will still be online if i stay up late again. ^^; i still think he's someone i know. but i think i'll block him anyway. as mike told me, "curiosity killed the computer" XD

----

oh and to princecyrus06, here's basically how ABCD works:

1. there are four ways you position your hands: a, b, c, and d. a is when your hands are together and "lined up" i guess... b is when your hands are together, one pointing up and one pointing down. c is when your hands are apart, facing up. d is when your hands are apart, facing down.

2. one person starts by choosing which letter they want to choose, and puts their hands in that position

3. at the same time, the other players pick a letter and puts their hands in that position

4. if the starting person gets the same letter as another player, the starting person gets to slap the other player's hands. if you both get a, then it's one (kind of like a sandwich) and 1/2 (which is when you only use one hand).

and... that's basically it. it's really fun. i used to play it at my middle school all the time. all my korean friends would gather in the social studies room and play all during lunch and at the beginning of social studies. our hands would be red for the entire period! haha. patricia and ariana were the strongest, so they always slapped the hardest. it would burn for a long time. hehe.

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Wednesday, May 4, 2005

so i still haven't asked yet.

but according to juliette, xuemin was talking to brian after school yesterday and he was happy and wanted me to ask him or whatever. so now everyone is like "wow brian likes you!" and how i should ask him and everything (except for madonna who doesn't want me to ask him and ask brad instead). brian hasn't really said anything to me about it. but the entire asian crew thinks that he does.

the thing is... the idea of a guy liking me is quite.... hmmm what's the word? crazy? no, that's not quite it... traumatizing, maybe?? o_O;;; well let's see..... the first guy who liked me was josh... and he... stalked me, tried to force me to eat, and was convinced i was going to one day kill myself by playing too much ABCD.... then after that, another stalker (brad), what with the cell phone pictures and staring at me and everything.

so i think it's just that guys aren't *supposed* to like me. because maybe it's one of those "facts of life" things?

*shrug* who knows...? XD

well it seems that most of brad's friends want me to go with brad. so like kent and david. (and madonna just because he's asian and brian isn't, and that brian kind of scares her XD)

but the asian crew... hmm at first they were all like "ask brad!" but like now they all are saying "ask brian!" hmmmm... XD;;;; all this is so confusing.

today david and i had a conversation like this:

david (8:08:32 PM): HEY
david (8:08:37 PM): ASK BRADLEY TO THE SADIES!!!!
x closetchild x (8:08:52 PM): why
david (8:09:17 PM): cuz he loves you?
x closetchild x (8:09:31 PM): oO;
x closetchild x (8:09:39 PM): you can't love someone after just a semester
david (8:10:00 PM): oh
david (8:10:01 PM): maybe
david (8:10:25 PM): wha about romeo?
david (8:10:25 PM): he fell in love in one night
x closetchild x (8:10:46 PM): well
x closetchild x (8:10:49 PM): look what happened
x closetchild x (8:10:52 PM): they both died
david (8:11:07 PM): only because of family problems
x closetchild x (8:11:12 PM): haha.
david (8:11:13 PM): you guys dont have that kind of thingy
x closetchild x (8:11:35 PM): true, but still i don't think they were really in love
david (8:11:49 PM): yeah they were
x closetchild x (8:11:51 PM): it was probably more of a mutual crush that they considered love because they were so young
x closetchild x (8:11:51 PM): XD
david (8:12:48 PM): omg
david (8:12:54 PM): you analyze things too much
david (8:12:55 PM): ITS LOVE
david (8:12:57 PM): LOVE
david (8:12:58 PM): LOVE
david (8:12:59 PM): LOVE
david (8:13:01 PM): LOVE
x closetchild x (8:13:03 PM): o__o;
x closetchild x (8:13:21 PM): *cough* i'm too young for anything like that
david (8:14:14 PM): i see
david (8:14:19 PM): oh

lol. so confusing. then here's what alyssa said: "ask the hotter one" lol! well if i ask anyone it's going to be brian. XD no way am i asking a stalker. XD

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Tuesday, May 3, 2005

so... today has been quite... interesting. hmmm i'm really not sure where i should start. so i guess i'll go in chronological order? good enough i guess.

nothing really happened in engineering or math, except that in math we changed seats and got our tests back (17/15 :D)

then at lunch i ate with the asian crew and we were all talking about sadies and everyone was saying how i needed to go with someone. so at first they said brad (since he likes me and such... x___X;) but i said no, and so they were like "what about that sophomore with the curly hair?" and vicky was like "ohh you mean michael?" so yeah i guess they meant mike... and i asked them why and they were like "because you two talk to each other a lot" erm... ok.. XD and... then juliette was like "what about that other sophomore, brian?" and *just* as she said that, i saw him coming this way. it turns out, he really meant it when he said he was going to get me something for my birthday... which happened to be petshop of horrors volume 2 (yay i've been looking for that~~~!)

well anyway, all of a sudden the entire group was pointing at him and were like "ask him!! ask him!!" haha and it was kind of funny because brian didn't know any of them and he was just kind of standing there confused, and i was trying to not be noticed and everything until finally, julie was like "hey, are you going to sadies?" and he said yes, so she said "do you want to go with her *points at me*?" and he was like "sure, if she wants to".... omg it was so embarrassing XD everyone was like "you're blushing~~~ ^_~" but what they don't realize is i blush a lot... XD; so then brian said "sure, i'd go if she asked me" and they all took that as a cue to start yelling "OMG ASK HIM~" haha. even juliette's boyfriend told me to ask him o_o;; and i'm just sitting there trying to disappear and brian decided to sit down and everyone introduced themselves and stuff. some time later, brian was like "hey, so are you going to ask me, or are you going to wait for someone better to ask?" o_O; the asian crew was like "OMG you're not supposed to say stuff like that!!"

in the end, i didn't ask him, and we had to go back to class. (julie was like.. "awww but you should have~!") but we were walking out after school today and he offered to go as just friends, which i might do except i was planning to be dateless to figure out what stephii meant when she put on her xanga about the hot guy and being embarrassed... so i can know whether to get mad at her or not XD; but brian told me that he'll ask her about it and tell me, so i will know what to think XD;;;; i guess i'll go with him then. XD

well i guess i could go with him... as friends of course. i wouldn't even *think* of getting a date at this point in my life. wayyyyy too complicated for me. haha.

after we got home, my birthday present from my aunt and my grandma came. i got grave of the fireflies. it was really sad~~~ i almost cried. o_o; my little sister got the incredibles...

oh yes... i better mention that...

"OH MY GACKT~!"

...is my new favorite phrase. even though gackt isn't my favorite. but you know, "oh my ryuutarou!" just doesn't sound as good, does it? T^T;;; but OH MY MIYAVI sounds just as cool XD and OH MY hide! (which looks cool too)... my friend and i had a lot of fun with this. she was like "OH MY MANA!" but that sounded too much like some tcg... o_O; haha. i like "OH MY MIYAVI" a lot tho... XD

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Monday, May 2, 2005

Hideto Matsumoto

13 December 1964 ~ 2 May 1998

the following information is from jrocker.com:

2nd of may, 1998 - a day to be remembered by all lovers of hide, X Japan, and the whole jrock scene. hide, guitarist of the lengendary X Japan, apparently committed suicide in the morning and was announced dead at 8:52am.

in that morning, hide went home (noah's ark) at about 6:30 am. his neighbour did not notice anything wrong until 7:30, when a woman in the apartment found hide in his bathroom, unconscious with a towel hanging by his neck to the door knob. hide was sent to the hospital immediately but unfortunately, he was announced dead at 8:52 am.

after the disolution of X Japan in september 1997, hide went well with his solo works, including "Zilch" and "hide with Spread Beaver". there is no evidence that he ended his life due to career depression. also, there was a rumour saying that hide was rehearsing a "suicide scene" for his next live concert, and he died of accident. his reason of death remains a mystery, police could only confirm that he was drunk when he returned home that morning.



Forever Love

mou hitori de arukenai
toki no kaze ga tsuyosugite
AH... kizu tsuku koto nante
nareta hazu dakedo ima wa

AH... kono mama dakishimete
nureta mama no kokoro wo
kawari tsuzukeru kono toki ni
kawaranai ai ga aru nara

WILL YOU HOLD MY HEART
namida... uketomete
mou... kowaresou na ALL MY HEART

FOREVER LOVE, FOREVER DREAM
afureru omoi dake ga
hageshiku setsunaku jikan wo umetsukusu
OH! TELL ME WHY
ALL I SEE IS BLUE IN MY HEART

WILL YOU STAY WITH ME
kaze ga sugisaru made
mata... afuredasu ALL MY TEARS

* FOREVER LOVE, FOREVER DREAM
kono mama soba ni ite
yoake ni, furueru, kokoro wo dakishimete

OH! STAY WITH ME

AH... subete ga owareba ii
owari no nai kono yoru ni
AH... ushinau mono nante
nanimo nai anata dake

* repeat

AH... WILL YOU STAY WITH ME
kaze ga sugisaru made
mou dare yori mo soba ni

FOREVER LOVE, FOREVER DREAM
kore ijou arukenai
OH! TELL ME WHY, OH! TELL ME TRUE
oshiete ikiru imi wo

FOREVER LOVE, FOREVER DREAM
afureru namida no naka
kagayaku kisetsu ga eien ni kawaru made

FOREVER LOVE...

((sorry i couldn't find a translation))

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