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Tuesday, November 9, 2004


hi all
well i'm kind of confused right now. i'm depressed and i feel like crying and yet... you could probably tell me something funny and i wouldn't be able to stop laughing. i wonder if idp caused some of this... no i don't think so. maybe i should start with the bad news so that i can cheer myself up with the good news.

the bad news
so... a couple of you know this but for most of you who don't... my friend on dA is really depressed right now. i think he's going to kill himself. he has the building picked out and everything. i don't know what i can do since i only know him online... it's really starting to get to me. i almost started crying in school today. x_x i've never really lost anyone close to me before... well except for my grandmother when i was 5 but i don't really remember that. i only vaguely remember that... so if anything happens to him, i don't think i'll know how to react...

i had this bad feeling earlier today and it's not going away so i did something really hard for me... if i don't hear from him within two weeks... i'll assume that he actually went through with it and that he killed himself. i really don't want to think in that type of negative way, but then again, i don't want to be sitting around waiting for him forever to return my comments when he's not even here anymore *tears*

i was listening to some jrock today and i noticed the translation to neo universe (l'arc~en~ciel) and it reminded me of him... *sigh* especially the italicized part.

Artist: Larc~en~ciel
Title: Neo Universe

words: hyde music: ken

the scales have started to tip upwards
I'm going to build up one side
so the other reaches higher than heaven.

even for these kind of innocent angels which can't fly,
morning will come to them gloriously.

Don't let go of that hand,
feel the world awaken.

even though it seems ready to shatter, it stays clear
you waited yesterday without sleep.

miracles you'd seen in dreams aren't coming but
the distant sky will lead you to them.

you are gentle like the wind
like a bird flying freely in this world
without fear neo universe

even if it ends in tragedy
I'm glad I met you.


the bind I've gotten into, I entrust it to you
I want to believe forevermore.

laugh like a pretty flower
shine like a star
flying over this world
without fear neo universe

it's the time of rebirth!
it's the most painful time !
let's be tied as one like the sky,
neo universe.

---

good news
wow i just depressed myself... so i'll talk about the good things that happened today ^_^

hmmm starting with... the ddr imitation pad that my sister got through her magazine drive. it's not nearly as good as the real ddr (although i've never played it ^^;) but it's amusing. the pixel art and gameboy type music annoys me but it's still kind of fun to try to get it to work and actually get points (you have to be REALLY exact)

oh and i got a msn messenger account. i'll put it up in my profile when i have the time. it's kuragechan04@hotmail.com

if you decide to message me please tell me your otaku account name so i know who you are ^^;

2 days left of idp... hope it works out. our group is meeting tomorrow. well... nothing more to say... *sigh* well i'll twyl then...

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