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myOtaku.com: Hardcore Otaku


Sunday, June 12, 2005

So... Brian has a girlfriend? o__o;

It said in his xanga... that he and his girlfriend's relationship was "on hold" as of September. Something about a long distance relationship or what not. The last entry in the xanga was March 31, but the last entry about her was about five entries down in late January I think...

Which *really* makes me wonder why he would want me to ask him to the dance and dance with him and everything. Because if he had a girlfriend... yeah...

One of my friends pointed out the possibility that they had broken up. But I really don't know....

So someone told me I should compare my reasons for thinking in a sort of "pro/con" chart I guess. So here goes:

Reasons to think he likes me
-He wanted me to ask him to the dance
-He kept asking me to dance with him when we were at the dance
-He thanked me for dancing with him in the yearbook and said it meant a lot to him
-When Steph told me she was going to get a hot date for me for Sadies, he asked her right away who he was [according to Steph]
-When I talk with Steph after school, a lot of times he'll come talk to me [Steph also pointed this out]

Reasons to think he doesn't like me
-He might still have a girlfriend
-Guys just don't like me (except for 2, but they're different)
-I always thought we were just friends...

It *seems* like the top one had more. But 2 of them were only according to Steph... Her exact words were "Well, he does seem to... care... about you" and then she went on to explain what I had written for the last 2.

*shrug* I don't know what to think really.

I don't know why, but I can't help feeling a little bit disappointed. I wasn't expecting anything... or was I? Maybe I thought he might actually like me. Maybe I thought we might go out and I'd have a first boyfriend or something, I don't know. Maybe a combination of watching Asian dramas and the Asian Crew trying to get me to get a boyfriend and shoujo manga has brainwashed me into thinking that I'll be happier with a boyfriend. Maybe it's just that he was so nice to me at the dance that I became attached to the idea of a guy being like that to me all the time.

But you know, I'm getting what I want, aren't I? I mean all of those times I said "I don't want a boyfriend" or "Guys shouldn't like me"... I got what I wanted. So why do I feel like this...?

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