Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Post Time:10:45


This was written by Alex, and I think its wonderful^^.

A sister who's always been there for me,
A sis who's helped me all she can,
A sis who's funny
A sis who makes me smile,
A sis who makes me feel warm inside,
That sis I care about :)

There are many I care for,
Many I have a spot in my heart in,
But you I've been thinking about today,
And you I always have care for.

I may have many friends
And sisters,
but you are special to me
Zero
You are awesome to me :)



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Thursday, April 26, 2007

*snickers to self*

hehe...hehe...
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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Just a random thought.


If a bum has no money, he can find cardboard in any dumpster, but where does he get a perfectly good, brand new magic marker from to write on the cardboard???

Yeah, again, just a random thought. I wonder what LS will say. He usually has something witty to say, lol.
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Friday, April 20, 2007

This is a piccy of Lance. Hmm, he was about 19 I think when this picture was taken. His sister was running her mouth (as usual) and took this picture right before he hopped onto to R6 motorcycle and zoomed off. But yeah, he's no longer a shadowy illusion. He has a face now! hehe. But yeah, this is my smexy man :D

About the last picture...
-No that wasn't my boyfriend, that was Edge-san my best friend.
-Yes, I do believe he attempted to grope me.
-I was planning on arresting Grifter99 on suspicious activities of being sexy ^_~.
-The picture was taken in March at the hotel in Shanny's room during Momocon.
-No, I didn't dress up like the cop during the convention. That outfit barely covers my butt, and it was cold the entire weekend. Besides, I don't need any more nerds staring at my butt. I get that enough from Lance himself, lol. I just wore jeans and a tshirt to the convention itself.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

My favorite picture from Momocon. And yes, I'm dressed up as a very sexy cop :D.

This picture cracks me up each time!
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Friday, April 13, 2007

Edge-san hails to my butt forever more :D

Side Note: One of these days, I'll make a real post I swear XD
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Oh yeah :D

How evil are you?
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Post Time: 12: 07 am

3| | |Bounded and Blinded| | |4
Well Lance and I got into an arguement. Over petty shit, as usual. After the fight, I try to apologize and make it up to him, and he acts like he wants nothing to do with me anymore. I asked him if he still wanted to be with me, and he was like "That's all on you." That pissed me off. I mean, he has a say and a part in this relationship as well. So don't put it all off on me. I won't force you to stay when you want to go. I got upset and starting crying. He called me and was trying me make me feel better, but everything that came out of his mouth, hurt me more and more. I feel like my heart is being torn into shreds, and he's the one watching and laughing. Some of the things he says, they hurt so bad. Why do I stay with him? I love him more than words can describe, but I shouldn't be degraded in the process, should I? Last night we got into a fight, I thought we had broke up, but he called (after me calling him 21 times) and said that we weren't. But I was so upset, so frustrated, I felt so small and alone. And to cure those feelings, I turned back to old habits. Yup, I started cutting myself again. I have cut marks all up and down my arm. I don't know why, but watching the blood flow, it numbed the pain in my heart. And the more I sliced into my skin, the more blood that flowed, the better I felt. Luckily I worked myself out of that, but after tonight, I want/feel the need to again. But Lance said that if he saw cut marks on me, that he'd call the bradley center on me (a psycho ward basically). And I don't want to go there. I'm not that crazy to belong in there. An ounce of peace is all I ask of you. He always asks what do I want. I want him. Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow. I want him. I want to marry him, and have a life with him, and have children, and grow old together. All I want is him. Because everything else I want, can come from him. I'm not asking too much am I? Maybe one day he'll look at me and see me the same way that I've always seen him. Nothing is built to last. Maybe this relationship isn't either. I feel so small and fading. Like I'm drowning in darkness. My voice is small and fading. He doesn't hear it anymore. Maybe one day my voice will reach him again. And maybe one day he'll believe me when I say I love him.

Well that's all for now. Later

When you step to the ledge of all the light you have left, and you take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you might believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you step upon, or you will learn how to fly.
~Unknown

Zeroing Out. . . .


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Friday, March 16, 2007

Post Time: 1: 50 am

3| | |Weekend Getaway| | |4
I'm going to go to Momo-con this weekend. I end the break from everything, so it should do me some good. I'll be spending the night at Lance's tonight, and leave for the convention early saturday morning. I'll be driving up with Shanny and Charlene, so it should be fun. The two loudest black girls I know. hahaha. They ought to be entertaining enough during the two hour drive up there. hehe. I'm still trying to pack at the moment. I think I'm done, but I'm never too sure. lol. Since I'm 18, I might try to go to a club or two during the night. Just let loose and have some fun, you know? But I'll be back sunday night, and I know that'll make Lance happy. He's already told me a few times that he's going to miss me while I'm gone. I'm only going to be gone about a day and a half! Silly boy. But yeah, I know that I'm going to miss him too. I'm going to bring the little stuffed penguin that he got me for christmas with me. It has some of his cologne sprayed on it, cause it smells really good. But yeah, I'll be sure to take lots of pictures.Hopefully this year the pictures will actually turn out @.@ lol.

PS- Lets all hope that I come back as a fresh and new Zero. *opens package and a new me pops out* 0.0 Where the hell did you come from?! I thought only toys came out the Cracker Jack box!

PSS- Old theme that I made last year, but never uploaded till now. It's way past christmas! lol.

Oh yeah, new wallpaper. First one of the year. hehe. Check it out please!
Ayashi No Ceres- Beside you

Well that's all for now. Later

When you step to the ledge of all the light you have left, and you take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you might believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you step upon, or you will learn how to fly.
~Unknown

Zeroing Out. . . .


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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Post Time: 12: 20 am

3| | |Food for thought| | |4
Ahh, my mind is so lost. Its only the middle of the week, and its sucked. Sunday night, Lance and I got into a pretty good arguement. Thought that we broke up cause he wasn't answering his phone. Monday and tuesday I spent trying to make up to Lance for sunday. I'm a little overwhelmed, confused, and frustrated. Lost my job cause I handed them my new school schedule, and they said that they couldn't have me working for them if I was going to be in school more than work. Been in a long process of trying to move out on my own. And now that I'm jobless, thats now become an even more distant dream. I have no friends that I could live with, and I don't want to live with Lance. His house is already full enough as it is. I feel alienated and alone right now. Turning in every direction, and every path leads to nowhere. I don't have any job offers flying at me like Lance does, and I sure as hell don't want to go back to work at the mall. The only thing I've been offered is from my friend Brittany, to work at a strip club. And I don't want to do that. But if I get desparate enough, in the back of my mind, I'll start to consider it. I'm at the end of my rope, and if I fall there's nothing to catch me. I don't think that anyone should be going through as much mental anguish as I am right now. Its too much to bear, and no one deserves to torture themselves. I have no one to turn to, and no place to go. Life is a two way lane and I think my car just died. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really don't. I feel so lost. I feel unwanted and unnoticed. Like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs in a crowded room and no one turns to see who is making all the noise. I've been listening to Lance say "Just stick with school, bust ass there, and it'll all work on." Sorry honey, but school won't pay the bills that are coming in now. I want a life that I can call my own, not a life where I have to ask my mother for permission to do anything. That isn't a life at all. I need someone to step down and save me. Because I can't seem to do it myself this time.

Well that's all for now. Later

When you step to the ledge of all the light you have left, and you take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you might believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you step upon, or you will learn how to fly.
~Unknown

Zeroing Out. . . .


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