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myOtaku.com: HardLuckWoman
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
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Friday, November 3, 2006
 Post Time: 12: 00 am
Left behind
I feel like crap right now. My brother took my phone last night and read some of my text messages in my phone from Lance. He ended up reading these ones the "I love you," "Marry me then," and "To death do us part" ones. I told Lance, and now I feel like I shouldn't have done that. He said that he loves me, but he wouldn't want to get into the middle of things between my family and I. And that because of this, that it could be the end of us. This is one of those cases where honesty isn't always the best policy. I wish I didn't tell him. But I don't see how he could think of walking away from this relationship so easily! I just don't see it at all! And I've been sending him text after text, waiting for a response, but nothing. Nothing at all. I'm in such a fragile state of mind right now, that anything will just send me off the edge just a little bit more. I'm so scared right now. I don't want this relationship to end! I just want it to! I just want to be with him. Is that so wrong? I guess I gave my heart away too soon. I just hope that it won't get broken. Today's avi I made a little while ago. It says exactly how I feel. And I know a lot of other people have felt the same way before also. Maybe everything just isn't built to last....
Well I'll be away from the computer most of the day today, but if you want to give me some encouraging words, feel free to PM me, or text me. My number is 706-422-3179. Just lemme know who you are if you do send one.
I guess I'll just go back to crying and feeling even more depressed now.
Well that's all for now. Later
No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
~Unknown
Zeroing Out. . . .
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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
 Post Time: 12: 17 am
Time goes by
Gosh, I haven't updated in forever! lol. Did you all miss me? I doubt it, hehe. Well the same ol', same ol' has been happening with me. You know, going to class, spending time with Lance. Nothing to magical.
Tie the knot
Well, Lance and I have been talking a lot lately about a certain subject. MARRIAGE. You read correctly, marriage. I love him to death, and he told me earlier last week that he loved me as well. I'm just currently trying to get a job so that I can get enough money to move out of my house and have my own place. And when I have my own place, Lance and I have decided to elope. Yup, elope. Our families won't know that we got married. I can't stand my mother she says about how I should live my life. It's getting on my fucking last nerves. And the things that my mother says about Lance pisses both him and I off. I want to move out and away. Lance was thinking about Portland, Oregon cause his uncle has his own business there, and he could get him to help get a decent job in the field of work that he's in (which is Industrial Maintence). It's a crazy ass idea, to get eloped, I mean really fucking crazy! lol. But we're both willing to go through with it. Maybe if we do go to Oregon, I'll be a little closer to Griff, Yensid, Mai, and Alex^^. I might be able to actually meet you all^^! That'd be great :D!. hehehe.
Cash income
Yesterday I went to Best Buy and bought the complete season DVDs of Azumanga Daioh and the new Goo Goo Doll's cd Let Love In and the new Evanscence cd The Open Door. Good cd's if you're into that type of music. But yeah. I also went to the groccery store three times yesterday 0.o Pointless I know. lol.
Well that's all for now. Later
If you love someone, write their name in a circle. Cause hearts break, but circles go on forever...
~Unknown
Zeroing Out. . . .
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Friday, October 13, 2006
 Post Time: 12: 00 am
Errands
Where to begin? I went to class yesterday, and forgot to do my homework, so I did it before the teacher came in, and turned it in after class. But while I was working on it, the woman that sits in front of me, handed me her answers, I was like YEAH! But oddly enough, the answers where dead ass in front of me, but I didn't copy them. Strange I know. lol. But hey, at least I have someone to cheat off of in case I actually have too! hehehe. Then after class, I went to Barnes and Noble and return some textbooks that I bought for my brothers online class. Then I took my cat Misty to the vet for her shots, and then my grandpa's cat Peppy for her shots. All I can says is That cat Peppy was a grey screaming ball of terror!!!! I mean it was "meow, meow, meow, meow" the entire time in the car! It was so annoying. And she was still yelling at me when she was out of the cage and in the house! Damn fat cat...lol.
I can't be without you
Lance called me today about 2 o'clockish.
Me: Hello?
Lance: Hello lovely.
Me: Hey you.
Lance: Where are you at?
Me: In my room.
Lance: Do me a favor?
Me: Ok. What?
Lance: Look out your window.
He was parked outside my house. I was so happy to see him^^. I went outside and gave him a big hug. Then he came inside the house, and I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off cleaning around the house and messing with the laundry. My dad was home (he got the day off from the USAMU) and was doing his errands all day. And about 3 o'clockish, he left to go finish up what he was doing. Then Lance used some persuassion on me. lol.
Lance: What you got left to do?
Me: I'm just going to pick up my room a bit and take a shower, and be done.
Lance: How about you mess with your room, then take a shower at my house?
Me: hmmm...ok.
Lance: Alright!
It took me likee 3 seconds to say ok. Lance said he liked quick answers like that. lol. But when I got to his house, I raided his closet for towels and went into the bathroom and took a shower. It was hilarious to hear Lance outside the door. He was begging me to unlock the door XD! hahahaha. But no, unlucky for him, I left the door nice -n- lock. He got mad when I let the cat in but not him. hehehe. Silly boy he is. Then after the shower, I helped him change the oil on his camero, and then after that we went out to eat at this place called "Pat's Backwater Too." It was pretty good. Lance order grouper (fish) and I had never had any before, so he gave me a bite. It was pretty good. Then after that, we left and went to the hospital to visit his grandpa (his dad's brother) cause he had a heart attack. His grandpa was messing with Lance saying that he should leave me there so that someone sexy could care for him. lol. Lance gave me this funny look, it was hilarious. On the way out, we stopped at the gift shop, and we found a bunch of stuffed animals. Lance picked up a HUGE Jaguar plushie and he asked me if I wanted it, and I wanted this little pink monkey instead, but I didn't say anything. But he spoils me so much. Then when we were leaving we went to the top of the hospital and you could see across town. And the sky was so pretty. It was cloudy and the light was breaking through a little and it left little streaks in the sky. It was gorgeous. And there was a light breeze that felt really good^^. After that, he took me back to his house cause my blazer was there, and when I got in, he came over and I gave him a kiss on the cheek and said bye, and he said "do that again", so I did. And he said that he liked the kiss on the cheek. He said it was real sweet. Het, what can I say? I'm crazy about the boy. For once, I truly wanted someone, and I actually got them. DAMN I'M GOOD! lol.
Graphics
Well I made a wallpaper yesterday. Here's the linky. Comments and downloads are appreciated^^.
Princess Ai- Hypnotic
Random Question
Q:What one thing is annoying you right now?
MA: The fact that Saw (the first one) keeps coming on at midnight during the week and I can't stay up and watch it cause I need my sleep so that I can make it through class the next day.
Well that's all for now. Later
If you love someone, write their name in a circle. Cause hearts break, but circles go on forever...
~Unknown
Zeroing Out. . . .
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Thursday, October 12, 2006
 Post Time: 12: 01 am
Newness
Well, I got my halloween theme up. This orignally isn't the theme I was gonna put up, but that one will get put up soon enough. And this isn't the orignal layout that I wanted to use either. The one I wanted to use, I can't get a comment box link to show, and I don't want to go back to having that same comment box with a gallazion pages, lol. This is what my orignal layout was going to be. Here's a linky to it^^. But oh well. I'll live :D. hehehe.
Orignal Layout
Paradise in your eyes
On tuesday, Lance called me and asked me to meet him up. So I got there, and he was still working, so I just wanted for him to finish, and when he did, he came over to me in my blazer, he was all hot in sweaty and gave me a kiss. I laughed so hard, I couldn't help it. He was like "what?" I said "you taste like sweat." He says "But I'm still sexy right?" I say "of course^^." heehee. He's such a silly boy. After that we left to go and eat. Then left for his house. I just cuddled with him for the longest time. I was having a bad day, and he did his best to cheer me up. And yesterday, I hung out at his house again. I swear, I'm at his house more than my own house! lol.
Bad day
On monday night, my brother asked me to reserve some PS3's for mine. I said that I would do that. On tuesday morning at 10:15 am, my brother comes home and started yelling at me asking why I wasn't at the mall reserving the PS3's for him. He said that I told him that I'd be at the mall at 10 am when it opens. I never said that. He yelled at me saying that I was worthless, and good for nothing. That didn't bother me. But then he said "I ought to take you to a third world country and kill you and I'd get away with it." That pissed me off so bad. I was yelling back at him. Then he left. And my grandpa is calling me saying that I wasn't holding up my end of the deal and a bunch of bullshit like that. And I was so fucking mad, you have no idea. And I go through "stages" when I get mad. At first I'm really quiet, then I get emotional and yell and cry, then I'm pissed off and yelling at someone. Lance called me, and I was crying, I was trying to pull myself together, but as soon as I said hello he asked me what was wrong. He just knew. And I told him what happened, and while I was crying on the phone with him, my grandpa called me and he just rambled about a bunch of meaningless bullshit that I put Lance on mute and yelled and got pissed off at him. Then I started crying again. And when he heard me crying, he felt sorry for me, I could hear it in his voice. Then my brother calls me and apologizes and then he's like "We'll go out and get some ice cream." Like that going to make me feel any fucking better. But whatever. Later that day when I was with Lance at his house, he just held me in his arms and I felt so much better. As if earlier that day had never happened.
Corrections
Ok, when Lance asked me about moving in with him, he was talking about when I'm 19, not now. lol. I think that I got you all a little confused on that one. hehehee. But yes, I want to move in with him. So when the time comes, I will. I may have known him for three years, but I'v only been dating him for one month and twelve days! lol. I'll need a bit more time before anything like that happens.
Well that's all for now. Later
If you love someone, write their name in a circle. Cause hearts break, but circles go on forever...
~Unknown
Zeroing Out. . . .
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006
 Post Time: 12: 06 am
Enter into nothingness
Yesterday was boring. I went to class, came home and did laundry. And ate cheese sandwiches and peanuts. hahahah. But yeah, that's all I did. Lance called me a few times throughout the day. He asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with him, and I wanted to go of course, but my mom said that I had seen him enough over the weekend. lol. I told Lance that and he said "Yeah, even your own parents know that I got you whipped. hahaha." Haha, don't he wish? But as much time as we spend together, he ain't complaining so its all good. But yeah, that's basically been my day.
Another step
On sunday while I was with Lance, we got into a conversation about me and my living arrangements so how. I'm 18 and I live with my parents and brother (he's 22). I told Lance that I always wanted to be at least 19 before I get a place of my own, and he said that he'd work with me to make that happen. He said that he'd like it if I moved in with him. I was a little taken back at that, but I'd l love to live with him. I practically live over at his house anyways. lol. I already have a few things of mine over there like lotion, make up, and such. But I was just like Wow, maybe this could be a truly serious relationship. And within every fiber of my being, I want to love him so bad. I just want to stay with him, and always be with him. I never want to be without him. He makes me feel so complete. I hope that this feeling never goes away.
Well that's all for now. Later
If you love someone, write their name in a circle. Cause hearts break, but circles go on forever...
~Unknown
Zeroing Out. . . .
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Monday, October 9, 2006
 Post Time: 12: 00 am
And his world stops
I spent the entire weekend with Lance. It was great^^. Where to begin? Friday, I went over to his house and cooked spatghetti for him, and then we saw School for Scoundels. It was pretty good. The ending was so funny, hahaha. On saturday, what did we do? Hmmm...damn I really can't remember. I think I just hung out at his house for a good while. lol. And yesterday, I went up to his grandparents house and we went fishing. I caught a fish^^! hehehe. It was a little Brimm fish, it was so cute^^. lol. Then after that we stopped by his friend Austin's house. Then we headed to his house, and he cooked for me. Steak, potato, and corn. hehehe. OMFG! That boy loooooooves! steak. lol. Wait! I remember what we did saturday! We went to a party for a little while, and left for his house after being at the party for about 45 minutes. And we hung out together at his house until I had to leave. lol. No matter what we do, as long as I'm with him, I'm never bored. He's a great guy. And a true gentleman to boot (Sorry Griff, you can't kill him). He opens doors, and everything! He treats me so much better than any guy I've ever dated! I love to just cuddle with him. The best feeling in the world is having his arms wrapped around me. I could literally die happy.
That's sexy
Last night while I was with Lance at his house, he was running around cooking, and I was hanging out on his couch (damn that thing is comfy! lol) and I was biting on my nail (habit of mine) and I was paying no attention to Lance, and he just stopped and said "Now that is sexy." with a big smile across his face. And I was like "huh?" And he said the way that I looked while nibbling on my nail was utterly sexy. Then he came over onto the couch and gave me a kiss^^. He gives the sweetest kisses. hehehe.
Away from the sun
Well last monday, I started the new quarter of my college classes. I'm only taking one class this quarter. Math 101. Such easy junk to do. lol. But next quarter I'll take two classes, then I'll have my Lathe Certificate, then move onto other classes. Man, my math teacher looks like Fonzy! hahaha. Like an older version of him. It is so hilarious. I just expect him to walk in wearing a leather jacket and go "Eeeeeyyyy" XD!
Graphic-ness
I made two splash banners. I like them a lot! They are really good^^. I love how the animation move on the second one. It's bad ass.
All the things you said
I'm getting rid of this part of my post. Too much to hassle with.
Random question:
Q:What material items do you want at this time?
MA: A MOTOKRAZR (motorazer + mp3 player) and that iPOD Nano that lights up.
Well that's all for now. Later
We all lie in the gutter, but some of us look up at the stars.
~Oscar Wilde
Zeroing Out. . . .
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