Friday, December 1, 2006

Post Time: 12: 00 am

3| | |Childish Words| | |4
Lance and I were talking on AIM, like we usually do before he goes to bed. Lance and I got into a discussion about me and my job. Lance wants me to quit my job and focus soley on school. I didn't like that, so I told him no. Then he told me that I should transferr to Auburn University (Auburn, Alabama), get a dorm and live the college life outside of my house. I was like ok. Then he says "You can live it up, you can break up with me if you have too." That pissed me off. You have no idea. I mean, he loves me, he wants to marry me, but he's telling me to break up with him?! I told him "I want you to tell me the truth. Even if it hurts me. Do you or don't you want to be with me?" He said yes. I told him to never say that I want to break up with him again. I think I got him a little scared. Edge-san can tell you. I get a little scary when I get mad. But I believe that I had every right to. I mean, he's said some things to me that has really hurt me, but I've never been, I guess, brave enough to speak up. But I guess when he said that "I'm young and that's what I ought to do." I think I kinda lost it. But we talked more after that, and we're on good terms again. I wish that we could talk in person, the way that we can when we're on the phone, AIM, or anything else. When I bring it up, he dogdes it completely. And it annoys me. But I want to marry him, so I'm willing to deal with it. But yeah. I'm bringing this up tomorrow. I don't care, he can't get out of it this time.

3| | |It's been awhile| | |4
Thursday night I finally got to see my friend Amanda. We've been friends since 8th grade, and I haven't seen her in two years. We always talk on the phone, but I never get to see her anymore. I finally got to meet her daughter Skylar Brianna^^. She's beautiful. She has big, bright blue eyes, and dirty blonde hair. I took a picture of her and sent it to Lance and I said "I want one of these." Lance wrote back "Now?" I busted out laughing and wrote "Not now silly. But in the future, yes." Silly boy, I swear. Yup, I want twin boys and a girl^^. I love kids. I was tickling and holding Skylar so much. I love that little kid. She's 15 months old. And a little bundle of energy and joy! But spending so much time with her, really made me realize how much I really want to have children. But after Amanda put Skylar to bed, we left her house. Amanda dragged me to this place called 'Starship.' Little did I know, it was a sex shop @.@ As soon as we walked in there, the guy behind the counter said "Is there anything in particular you're looking for?" In my head I said "Fuck no there is!' I mean, there was some crazy stuff in there. I was like wow. It was like opening panadora's box. Not a good idea. Then after that, we left, and got some grub at IHOP. After that I took Amanda home, and went home myself. But it was really good to see her. I miss seeing all my friends. I didn't think that we'd lose so much contact after high school, but we really have. And guess what. It sucks!

3| | |Afterglow| | |4
Yesterday my mom, brother, and grandpa got into a big arguement. It was started by my brother. I spent a long time crying. I don't feel like going into detail about it all. But basically, my brother is even closer to getting kicked out the house. But yeah. A few hours later, my mind was clear enough so that I could think clearly. Now I have a headache.

Well that's all for now. Later

Never give up, for around the next corner, your life might change forever.
~Unknown

Zeroing Out. . . .

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