Thursday, August 31, 2006

Great thing is... my eyes are actually blue!

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hmmm... bored again























To My Friend, destinysfireball... in love with dolphins









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Monday, August 28, 2006

   feh...
okay... this is how it's looking. my bf has some friends in Plattsmouth, (another city) I began talking to one, she says that he is dating a girl up there, WITHOUT knowing that I am dating him. He says he's not. I think he's lying. Now what? I wanna believe him, but I'm not sure I can anymore. I'm confused, I trusted him, and know I have to question the past 5 years of my life. Not exactly good.
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Thursday, August 24, 2006

   Trip
So... after I graduate, and a friend of mine gets married... I'll be going to Harrisburg, PA. Malibu, CA. Inkster, Michigan (i dun remember the abbr. T.T)
*dances* I can't wait 'til after the wedding!!! I wanna meet summa mah friends! *face to face*

Wow... last night was one of those nights, that you go to bed barely able to go to sleep, and your mind. won't. shut. up. the walls get closer, and everything you've ever done wrong in life comes back to haunt you, you sart to think "Why? Is it really worth it? Why should I be here? Why do I have live in hell?" And then you realize... DUH!!! It's not hell... you have friends there to support you, and to be there for you. What more do you need? And then you go to sleep and dream of clowns. *twitches*

Thanx everyone!!! I appreciate the support you've given me, and I hope I can do the same sometime for you! *hugs* ^_^
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Monday, August 21, 2006

hmmm...
to reaper of suls... nice entry... your GB wouldn't let me in!!!


WOW!!! ummmmmm... random falling... things... ES AWESOME!!!!!^_^

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   hm...
Well. Three of my friends are getting hitched... and the others are either already married, or trying to gather the courage to ask their 'partners'.

Well... they'd better have fun ruining their lives. I give most of them approx. 2 yrs; if that... kinda bad that I'm that... optimistic about marriage, neh? Although I am happy that they believe that they will last, and indeed, I hope they do...

Well... I'm gunna go... cuz I'm bored and have Axel's Hips Don't Lie from youtube.com STUCK IN MY HEAD!!!
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Friday, August 18, 2006

   I Hate Lawyers...
SO... my mother's lawyer had me evaluated by a 'psychotherapist'. I'm supposed to see this guy about 'emotional/psychological damage that may have been inflicted while living with my Roy' (legally they call him my 'step-father'. Ah, hell... that's is the only way he is a father... legally only. He's attempting to get custody of me, so he can kick me out on my @$$. He doesn't like my choice of friends.

I can deal with him raggin' on me, and telling me how worthless I am... but he's started with his girl-friends daughter as well. She holds onto it for to long... it gets me down for about a week, but SHE'S already attempted suicide, after being in the same house for less than a year. I feel really sorry for her... and when he starts ragging on my friends... oh. my. god. I can't take it anymore. The last time he did it, was about a week ago... I blew. up. on him. So he's on a big "You're coming with me, and then you're getting an apartment..." blah, blah, BLAH!

I choose my friends carefully, but thanx to lasting effects from my biological father AND Roy, I am not able to fully trust more than 3 of my closest friends. And I want to, so bad. I know I can, and should, but it's so hard to, anymore. I don't want them to get hurt. Roy has actually COME AFTER my friends before, yelled at them and such to get them to go away. He's gotten TWO sent away. Which is why I stick to my internet friends, and now I just... ACT around the other people at school. I do my best to keep them at a distance so it doesn't happen again. People tell me that I am giving in to Roy that way. But think about it. I graduate in 268 days, on May 13 at 2:00. Then I'm free... I'm planning a trip around the US to visit my 'net-friends' w/out my parents knowing (for now, at least) if you wish to be included in the 'tour' let me know the info... blah, blah, blah...

SOOOOO... now that I am done complaining... I'm on Flag Core *.* (pretty, sparkly flags ^_^), I made the school newspaper staff (jumps up down... we need some good poetry, though... you'd get full props if you wish to contribute) and I have a job. I've had my wisdom teeth tken out... (no more pain! YAY!) And I'm feeling good b/c I managed to steer away from man-bashing today! Yay me!

well.. I godda go get something to eat...
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Trip
My friends and I are going on an All America thingie this summer after I graduate... If you wish to be included... or just to talk... PM your info to me... no... the money is not an issue...
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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Been Gone...
Yes... I am still alive, haven't been on b/c of sickness... four cases of bronchitis, and I am now on an inhaler.... well... I will be on a lot more starting on Thurs. thanx for checking in on me... I better go... not even suppoesed to be on, really... talk to you all on Thursday!
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