Wednesday, December 1, 2004

I have no title for this post.
I feel like an idiot because I have so many papers to type up by the end of this week (in total about 25-30 pages), and so far, I've only got my name down on one of the documents. I'm at that point where I absolutely do not want to do anything, and that's horrible since this is my final week of school before the quarter ends, and so this is the most critical week for me. I'm supposed to be heading to the library right now to finish up my research on one of my projects, but instead, I'm just sitting here like I've got no worries in the world. What the hell is wrong with me? Do I not understand how dire the situation is? I have to do extremely well because these are the final classes in my Film major, and I'm basically done with college. Someone slap me.

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I just realized that I'm at a point in my life where I just don't like anyone or have any crushes on anyone, and it's weird because I've ALWAYS had someone to crush on at least, and now that I don't...I don't know. It feels weird. It seems like all I care about nowadays is just studying, and although I hate it, I'm actually alright with just having that to worry about because thinking about crushes or whatever is just a distraction that I really don't need at the moment. So I guess I can say that I don't have anyone to crush on, nor do I really care all that much. It would be nice to find someone, but actually, I'm really quite alright without it in my life at the moment. I'm also sort of hoping that I don't meet anyone wonderful because I don't want to end up like a sappy ass girl who only daydreams about her boyfriend and constantly talks about him all the goddamn time. I don't want to end up like that, and almost every single one of my friends who have been in relationships have totally just gone nuts with love. Blegh. Tis really sort of disgusting. This could also be my fear of commitment talking, but I don't want to be like that. I guess you could say that my cynicism with relationships and love is sort of more entertaining for me than the idea of being all crazy in love, if that makes sense.

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And why I digressed to this particular subject, I have no clue, but I'm going to go now because I really should get to the library, LOL. I feel like Nara Shikamaru from Naruto; everything just seems so troublesome. xD

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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

   Naruto RPG: Wanna join? PT 2
If you're a Naruto fan and would like to interact with other Naruto fans via an RPG forum, please visit:
Konoha Valley - Naruto RPG

There, you will need to read and fill out the application, and if you want, send it to me (my user name on the forums is Uchiha Hikaru). And if you would like to join the Uchiha Clan, check out the additional questions here.

I'm sure most of you know what RPG means, but if you don't, basically it's a role playing game. For this particular forum that I am a moderator of, you make up your own character from Konoha and interact with others as your character by means of a narrative format (in other words, each post would be like a very short story of your character's thoughts and actions as he or she goes through the village).

Because the time of the RPG takes place way after the time in which the anime/manga is at right now, none of the current characters are available for role-play which is why you must make up your own character. The application process includes a writing your character's backstory as well as a sample of writing describing how your character acts and thinks in normal situations as well as in battle. The admins and moderators will then decide whether or not you will be accepted, based on your creativity as well as on your writing ability. It may sound hard, but all you've got to do is know how to write well, so spell/grammar check would be key. And if you can find your creative writing voice, all the better.

If you have any trouble at all with signing up or joining the forum, please contact me and I'll help you out! ^_^ The admin really wants to revive the forum, and so all you Naruto fans, if you're interested, PLEASE JOIN!!! And if you'd like to join my Uchiha Clan, then please send a PM to my username: Uchiha Hikaru! xD

and just because I can, here's Fujiwara Tatsuya-san again (star of Battle Royale I,II and Shinsengumi!)

Sorry, I can't get enough of him xD

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004

   Fujiwara Tatsuya
For those of you who have yet to see the movie Battle Royale, Fujiwara Tatsuya plays the lead role of Nanahara Shuya, and more recently, he's been seen on the dorama Shinsengumi! (my favorite at the moment) as Okita Soujiro. I remember putting up pictures of him on her before, and lately, I hadn't been able to really look up more information on him until now.

I'm doing my senior thesis (aka the project that will determine whether or not I will graduate college, haha) on Battle Royale and its filmic adaptation, and I was looking for pictures when I came back to my favorite Fujiwara Tatsuya site and saw this new picture.

He's dressed in visual kei style, and I can honestly say I've never seen him look more gorgeous than he does in this picture. I mean, holy shit. He should do a lot more of this visual kei style because it's so amazingly hot on him xD

Drool.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

   Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
This has got to be one of the best films I have seen all year. I've grown into a sort of cynical person when it comes to relationships and love because of the way things always turn out for me, but this film somewhat makes me believe that love can truly conquer all (omg, that was so corny, but I can't seem to put it in any other way right now). The film is excellent in pointing out how bad relationships can get but it all somehow works out if the love is really geniune and true. I highly recommend it for all of you out there!! ^_^ For almost two hours, it totally made that cynical voice in my head shut up for once. That's totally saying something.

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And holy crap. Over the weekend, my ranking on myOtaku jumped up several spots, and I hadn't even updated! Thanks for taking the time to read my boring posts!

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I can't wait for Naruto - Episode 109 to finish downloading. I hadn't the chance to watch it over the weekend as I had no access to my computer, so it's really exciting to see what's going to happen. Of course, since I've read the manga, I already know what's going to happen, but since that was a long while ago, I've forgotten quite a few things. However, the one chapter I've never forgotten is Chapter 181, and that's the chapter that is also featured in Episode 109, so I'm super excited! I read that chapter like 123498359023845 times because I was really into the Sasuke x Sakura pairing, but because of recent developments in the manga, my support of that dwindled slightly. But I still love Chapter 181, and I can't wait to see it in motion in Episode 109! It'll be another way to keep that cynical-about-love part of me silent for 20 minutes.

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One more day until Yukihiro's birthday! Ah, my love for the L'Arc~en~Ciel drummer runs deep (well, not that deep since I don't even know him), and I'm happy that he gets to celebrate another birthday! I don't have a picture to share since I've had to erase a lot of my files from my computer and from my tiny space on my school's server, but yay!

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If you're still interested in joining the Naruto RPG Forums that I'm apart of, please take a look at
http://www.narutospot.com/rpgforums

My user name is Uchiha Hikaru so don't hesitate to PM me there!

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Thursday, November 18, 2004

Naruto RPG: Wanna join?
I know I've mentioned this a long time ago, but I never elaborated on it. I'm one of the moderators for a Naruto RPG Forum, and as a moderator, I've also been given the responsibility as the Leader of the Uchiha Clan. Now, I know that there are a TON of you who are into Naruto, and well, the RPG forum has been slowly dying over the past few months, and I'd really like to see some activity happening on it.

If you're interested, please visit:
http://www.narutospot.com/rpgforums

Read the rules, and if you'd like to be part of the Uchiha Clan, answer the specific questions I've posted to join, send me a PM on my account there and let me know you've read this on myOtaku! My account name there is Uchiha Hikaru, and so far, I haven't accepted any new Uchiha, nor have I received any worthy applications to be part of my esteemed clan, so I'd like to see a few of you on there xD

The RPG takes place in a time wayyy after the anime/manga, so you've got to make up your own character which is part of the application process. Of course, if you're interested, the full details are at the website, and I'd really like to see a few of you on there, especially if you've got great writing skills.

That's all for now xD Back to writing more papers T_T
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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

   New Theme: Haruno Sakura!
I've finally put up a new theme dedicated to Haruno Sakura, the one from whom I've stolen my user name ^_^ For those of you who don't know, she's the kunoichi of Team Seven from the anime/manga Naruto, and she's my personal favorite character because I find I can relate to her the most because although she provokes and teases Naruto, she's not perfect herself, and she's constantly left behind which is why I think she's so endearing. But if any of you have been keeping up with Part I of the Naruto manga, you would know by now that Sakura has finally found her calling, but I won't spoil it for any of you who've only watched the anime.

My new banner is sort of like an update of a banner I made a long time ago that also featured Sakura and had the same generic concept. However, this time I used different pictures and I added flames to the background instead of blood splatters like last time, haha xD

I'm already missing my Natsuki-san avatar though because it was so cute T_T

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With the quarter drawing to a close, I've gotten more than my fair share of workload to complete before the end. This Friday, I've got to make my screenplay pitch to my class, which means I have to tell them my story as though they were executives I wish to sell the story to. I have to speak for 8-10 minutes, and it's going to be filmed so that I can critique my pitch.

I'm positively terrified because when I get nervous in front of a group of people, I tend to turn extremely red and talk faster. I mean, when it comes to acting on stage, that's so much more easier for me because it's not my work I'm performing usually, and I always try my best because I don't want to be the one to fuck up someone else's story. However, because this is just me and my own work, I'm just nervous as all hell. My story may seem cool to me but to my class it may sound like a cliche love story.

I don't know how I'll keep on talking for 8-10 minutes without forgetting what I'm going to say, but since we're allowed to have notes with us, I'm definitely going to write down a thorough outline for me to follow. If I don't have a guide in front of me, I feel that I'll definitely go off on tangents, or I'll run out of things to say which I feel will be much worse because then it'll look as though I don't even know my own script.

GAH! Just thinking about it right now is making me nervous. I really need to calm down xD

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Onto more personal matters...
My friend, the one who had admitted to me a while ago that he likes me, has suddenly started to be very demanding of me and my time. In other words, he's acting like a whiny boyfriend. He demands why I don't want to spend time with him, why I don't ever want to hang out with him, and why it seems like I'm always so goddamn busy.

What the hell? It's because I AM busy, you fucking prick! And I told him so, and he got all, "Okay, fine. Have a nice life!" What the fuck did I do to deserve this kind of treatment? Goddamn it, I'm spending all my time studying and writing all these goddamn papers and my script all while preparing for my upcoming finals, all of which are more papers, and this fucker is demanding more free time from me. If you were a friend, you would fucking understand the circumstances instead of acting like a spoiled child, ne?

And then he went on to question what he meant to me. And I told him that he was my friend. And yet, that answer didn't seem to satisfy him. Goddamn it, I'm sorry if I don't fucking want to be his goddamn girlfriend! Geez. Fucking get over it and stop whining like a crazy bitch and stop trying to make me feel like I'm guilty for not returning the kind of feelings I can't return! That's fucking life, and although it may seem like I'm a little bit harsh, I really don't give a flying fuck because I know how it hurts to have unrequited feelings, but you don't really see me bitching about it every second of every goddamn day.

Fucking get a hobby or some shit! Trying to make me feel guitly over something like this pisses me off because it's not something I can help in any way, shape or form. It's like he's blaming me for not feeling the same way, but what the hell am I supposed to do? Drop all my classes just so I can hang out with him? Neglect all the work I've done just to spend more time with him? When I only see him as a friend? Goddamn it.

This is sort of why I don't even want to be in a relationship right now, despite the crushes I may have on guys because for one thing, I just have too much important crap to do right now that I can't waste time consoling some whiny boyfriend who wants more of my spare time when I hardly have any of it to spare! I've worked too damn hard to get where I am right now! I'm not going to throw any of that away! He knows that I'm going to have free time after this quarter is over so I don't fucking understand why he's being so goddamn clingy right now when it's only pushing me away!

And the fact that he keeps bringing up this whole relationship issue is getting on my nerves. I've told him once, I've told him twice, I've told him three times!!! When is it going to sink in that I only consider him as a friend and nothing more? How can I be more blunt than that? Do I have to find myself a boyfriend or some shit to get it into his thick skull that I'm just not interested in him in that particular way???

I'm so frustrated. It makes me hate boys even more. If this is a fraction of what it's like to be in a relationship, I don't want to be in any part of it at all. I can't handle jealous, clingy people.

Whew. I feel tons better letting it all out xD

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More KPop
Got my Fly to the Sky - Gravity CD in the mail today. It's their 5th album, and I actually have to say I like it much better than their fourth album, Missing You.


Fly to the Sky was my introduction to Korean Pop Music, and so they've still got a soft spot in my heart ^_^ My roommate last year got to meet them, and I'm still so incredibly jealous of her. When she showed me the picture of her and Brian Joo (the one sitting down in the picture), I was really soooo jealous, haha xD She's so lucky. I wish I could meet them one day, too ^_^


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Friday, November 12, 2004

A little of Korean Pop.
Here's a little clip of one of the guys that totally make me drool. It's not his full music video because that shit would eat up my bandwidth, LOL. Anyway, it's Korean Pop star Choi Dong Wook aka Se7en. Yes, he's been described as a Korean Justin Timberlake/Usher, but you know what, he's actually really quite humble, so I think that makes him a better person in my opinion. I don't listen to much KPop, mostly Fly to the Sky, BoA, Seo Taiji and the occassional H.O.T. or Shinhwa song (bands that have already disbanded), but Se7en is the one artist (other than Fly to the Sky) that I listen to often. Anywhere, here are a few pictures and his music video for the song, "Passion."






This isn't as good a quality as the one I really have on my computer, but I had to make it a smaller file and I had to cut it in half, so if you want to see the full music video, just ask me and I'll send you to a site that has it in high quality.

Enjoy.
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Thursday, November 11, 2004

o.O
So I was curious to see how my wallpapers were doing on this site, and it surprised me to find out that I was in the 10 ten most popular wallpaper artists xD My wallpapers have been downloaded over 1800 times, so minna-san, arigatou gozaimasu! It makes me want to make more wallpapers, and I think I'll do just that...I haven't done any Naruto wallpapers, so I think I'm going to go ahead and do that ^_^

I have nothing really interesting to add. Except that I'm still sick, and my cough won't go away. I guess it doesn't help that I like to walk in the rain without an umbrella.


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Sunday, November 7, 2004

o_O I remembered!
Tonight, I remembered that Dan told me a few days ago that Full Metal Alchemist was going to make its US television debut on Adult Swim, and I went ahead and watched it, not because I wanted to see the anime really (since I've already seen quite a few of the episodes before it got licensed) but because I wanted to see if they were really going to play L'Arc~en~Ciel's "READY STEADY GO" as the opening.

Well, since it was the first episode, there really was no opening theme, so I wasn't expecting to hear it, but I was hoping they would play it. And they didn't...until the end of the episode, which I don't understand because they labeled "READY STEADY GO" as the opening song in the credits. Anyway...

The song barely played for like 20 seconds, and they editted it so that the song immediately jumped into the first verse. But you know, once I heard it playing, it put a smile on my face because that's the effect a L'Arc~en~Ciel song has on me. Because RSG is so damn catchy and addicting, I'm pretty sure L'Arc is going to get a few newbie fans from this show...I still think it's sucks a little bit that they're being introduced to a new audience through an anime because to these new fans, L'Arc will then be nothing more than that group who plays anime music. But then again, they're being introduced, period. Whatever. I'm really tired of that whole debate beacause I can see arguments for both sides. Anyway...

All I ask is that if there are new fans who get introduced to L'Arc~en~Ciel through Full Metal Alchemist, I hope that they actually look beyond RSG and the album it comes from (SMILE, fyi) to really delve into their other stuff...which, quite frankly, I think is much better. And I also hope I don't see new messages popping up everywhere that say, "OMG!!@ I totally LUV that opening for FMA!@# I'm SUCH a huge fan of Larc because FMA is sooo cool, and HYDE IS SOO LIKE OMG HOT!!@#" Lord knows we've got enough crazy Hyde fangirls who only ever mention his "hotness" every three seconds without mentioning anything about the music. Sigh.

Anyway, here are a couple of things that I thought about the actual show itself. The dub is pretty well-done, and this is coming from a person who HATES dubs w/a passion. Of course, I still prefer the original version, but I'm pretty glad that they've kept the translations pretty much close to what was being said in the original.

My only gripe is that the voice actor for Al is so emotionless. It sounds like a little kid is doing the voice, but that's to be expected since they gave Al a really kiddy voice in the original, but this English voice actor sounds like this is his first time doing voice acting. His vocal tone does connote his youth, but it sounds like he's just reading the lines, and it's a total distancing effect. I get pulled out of the story whenever he talks because he sucks at it.

For those of you who's only gotten to see the anime for the first time tonight, the story is pretty good, so you'll have a lot to look foward to.

In any case, yah, that's my two cents on FMA. As for RSG now being broadcast to the entire nation...I really hope that the possible new fans really do their research on L'Arc~en~Ciel. I don't want to waste my time sifting through forum fodder to get to good posts. I do that enough as it is, and I can only see this problem getting worse.

Oh well. I guess I'll keep watching this version of FMA since the dub isn't bad. But it might take me a while to tolerate Al's english voice actor T_T

And I wonder if they're going to keep RSG as the opening the whole time. Because they tossed out the first opening which was done by Porno Graffitti, and I think another opening was done by Asian Kung-Fu Generation, so I wonder if they'll ever show any of those later on or if RSG is going to be the main theme throughout the anime's run on Adult Swim. Blegh, who knows.

And Dan, sorry, but no manga I've read so far is better than Gravitation, IMHO. Bleach (manga) is alright, but it doesn't even surpass Naruto for me. I'm not even sure it's going to make my top 5 because I've gotten through the first volume and I'm into the seconf volume, and I'm not all that impressed. It's good for passing time, but I don't enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy reading Gravitation or Naruto...or Eerie Queerie, Get Backers, DN Angel, Blade of the Immortal, etc. Maybe Bleach will grow on me, but right now...it's just alright. I guess you could say that for me, it's on the same level as Tsubasa. It's a cool, interesting story, but it's one I don't really have to keep track of.

...It's been a while since I've mentioned anything about anime or manga. ^_^




Crush update:
Okay, ever since I've found out that he already has himself a girlfriend, it suddenly seems that now, when I try my hardest not to run into him or not to go to the library when he's supposed to be working, I always somehow manage to run into him every single day. It's almost like Fate loves to plant him wherever I am so that it can laugh at me and say, "Hey, Look! It's the guy you like and you can't have him, hahahahahahhahahaha!" It doesn't help that he's always so nice and smiles all the time. It sucks so bad. I don't want to see him. I don't want to be reminded that I can't be with him. I don't want to think about him at all anymore.

But I run to him when walking to class. When getting on some random bus. When going to the library and his supposed off days. It's so incredibly frustrating. When I wanted to find him on campus to talk to him, I never could run into him. Now that I don't want to see him at all so I could cure this broken heart of mine, he's everywhere I go. With that cute smile on his face. T_T;;;;;

STOP TORTURING ME, DAMN YOU! Let me nurse my broken heart and ego alone!!!

Okay, I'm done ^^;

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And about the change in the layout colors. I can't really tell what they really look like since the brightness on this moniter is almost blinding, no matter how many times I try to turn it down, so if it looks horrible, I apologize. I'm working on a Haruno Sakura layout, and it should be up soon...well...haha, it'll all depending on how much work I've got done for school -_-'
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Friday, November 5, 2004

.....
I never should've gotten out of bed yesterday. Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. It was so bad that as soon as I got home, I just broke down and cried.

This week was horrible. Yesterday was the worst day I've ever had in years. I'm almost afraid to step outside today because yesterday left such a terrible impression on me. I want to clam up and shut the world out. I want to run stupid people over with my car. I want to just lug a bat with me so that if anyone says anything stupid to me, I can just beat them down.

Just fuck, man. WTF.

Today is probably going to be a continuation of a horrible week, especially since I have to do a presentation for my screenwriting class about temporal frequency, and I can't talk very well because I'm sick and my throat is killing me.

Whatever. Just gotta suck it up like I've been doing this whole week. I can't wait for my class to be done today. I really need a break.

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I bought volumes 1 and 2 of Bleach yesterday to cheer myself up. I haven't gotten through volume 1 because I was reading it right before I went to bed, and I fell asleep after like five minutes because I was so exhausted. But it's pretty good. It reminds me of Eerie Queerie (or Ghost as it was called in Japan o.O) without the shounen ai...and with the whole soul reaper thing. Can't say it's a favorite just yet. I don't think I'll find manga I enjoy more than Gravitation, but we'll see how this develops.
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