Thursday, October 7, 2004

Where the heck did he go? T_T
Okay, my crush works at the library on-campus, but I've been there every single day this week, and I hadn't seen him there once. Sigh. The people at the library's Film and Music Center already know who the heck I am because I've been there everyday these past two weeks, and I think it's obvious to everyone that although I try to play it off like I'm watching the films for my classes, I'm really there to instigate conversation with HIM.

I do know two of his classes since he told me, but during those times, I also have classes way across campus, so I can't plan to "accidentally" bump into him wherever his classes are after they end. So my only option so far has been to stake out the library whenever I'm not in class.

And it hasn't worked at all this week! Hmph! I can't believe I'm going all out for this crush. I'm actually making myself talk when I don't usually do that, and I'm actually trying to run into him when I usually hide away. I don't know what else I can do when I can't seem to figure out how to get a hold of him except to find out his phone number, and I don't think I'm brave enough to even ask for that just yet.

I don't know what else I can do. Sigh. It would be a whole lot easier if he could be attracted to me, too, but with my luck, he will never ever like me back, or he'll already have a girlfriend.

Sigh. Well...I'll dress up tomorrow and go back to the library, and stake out the place until maybe 5 pm. If I don't see him tomorrow, I'll probably end up wallowing here LOL. Sigh. Why must pursuing a crush be so difficult? And why is my campus so amazingly huge?! With lots of hills? and trees? and deer?? Sigh.

Today, I hung out with a guy that had confessed to me a couple of weeks ago that he had a crush on me (check my previous posts for details). Hanging out with him again, I really realized that I feel nothing but friendship for him, but he was definitely trying to get closer to me, and he kept trying to get me to stay with him when I said I had to get back home to finish my homework. Sigh. How do you tell a guy that you just want to be friends without hurting his feelings?

Damn, I didn't mean to make this into a place where I complain exclusively about my love life (er...the lack thereof), but since I typed all this stuff up already, I may as well just leave it instead of erasing it all.

UGH, this is why I wanted to stay single for a while. I didn't have to worry about these things. But no, I had to go ahead and have a crush on somebody who's impossible to run into on this huge campus. UGH. I need some sense knocked back into me.

---

And here's something I stole from cory xD

(x) I have been drunk
() I have kissed a member of the opposite sex
() I have kissed a member of the same sex
() I crashed a friend's car
() I have been to Japan
(x) I rode in a taxi
() I have been in love
() I've had sex
() I've had sex in public
() I've shoplifted
() I have been fired
() I have cut myself on purpose
(x) I have been in a fist fight
() I've had a 3-some
(x) I've snuck out of my parent's house
() I have been tied up
() I have been caught masturbating
() I have been arrested
() I've made out with a stranger
() I've stolen something from my job
() I've celebrated New Year's in Time Square
() I've gone on a blind date
(x) I've had a crush on a teacher
() I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
() I have been to Europe
(x) I've skipped school
() I've slept with a co-worker
() I have thrown up in a bar
() I have purposely set myself on fire
(x) I have eaten sushi
() I have been snowboarding
() I have been snow skiing
() I have made a snow angel
(x) I have been happy with myself
() I have met a movie star
() I had sex in a pool
(x) I went to a prom
() I've bungee jumped
(x) I have been to a pop concert
() I have dated someone for over a year
() I sold naked pictures of myself
(x) I have been in a car accident
(x) I have slept in the nude
(x) I've eaten cheesecake
(x) I've had jury duty
() I've hated someone without knowing them
() I have been to Maine
() I've shot a real gun
() I've ran around with my trousers around my ankles
() I've had sex with someone within a week of meeting them
() I've done ecstasy
() I've gotten my ass kicked
() I've been caught smoking
() I've milked a cow
() I've got in a verbal fight with a teacher
() I've cheated on someone
() Lied one time in this survey
() Lied more then once in this survey
() Threw a party at a friends house when they were gone
() Partied every weekend for the last month
() Sniffed markers to get high
(x) Slept for more than 15 hours at a time
() Petted a live tiger
() Kissed someone in the snow
(x) Found a four leaf clover
(x) Gave your parents the finger behind a closed door
() Gotten drunk in Germany
(x) Cried in public
() Cried in public in the last 5 days
(x) Been hit on by a member of the same sex
() Been asked to perform oral sex by a complete stranger
() Have unknowingly been the other man/woman in a relationship
() Have knowingly been the other man/woman in a relationship
() Hates the SuicideGirls.com banner

Cory added more to make this interesting!

(x) Bitched at someone
(x) Been bitched at
(x) Saved a friend from a bad situation
(x) Went to a baseball game
(x) Went to a football game
(x) Went to a basketball game
(x) Spent the weekend at a friend's
() Sucked my thumb
() Purposefully failed a grade
() Got picked on in school
(x) Dressed like the popular kids
() Joined the military
(x) Been to the beach
() Had a TY Beanie collection
(x) Had a blonde moment
(x) Love your mom
(x) Love your dad
() Gotten along with a step-parent
(x) Gotten a piercing
(x) Told a friend you didn't like their boyfriend/girlfriend
(x) Confronted your parents
(x) And lived to see the next day
() Liked Barnie -
() Liked Teletubbies -
(x) Bought a friend a gift
() And still haven't sent it yet
() Is innocent
() Is perverted
(x) Bought something but never used it
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Wednesday, October 6, 2004

   This post will remain Title-less as I don't feel like giving it a name.
Ha, it seems silly little me is just throwing crushes around at random innocent bystanders. I think it might just be me being somewhat lonely, but for some rather odd reason, I'm seeing crazily hot guys around the campus, and I hope to God that the ones that I've seen aren't Frosh because I really can't handle someone that young because a lot of the time, they act younger than they are. Besides, I tend to go for slightly older men.

But damn, seriously, what the hell? Did they all just decide to drop into the campus my last year in university? I've had to go through the three previous years of seeing nothing but pansy-ass hippies with a one or two exceptions that whole time, but now, the hot guys have flooded the campus, and I'm just like filled with the urge to get all dolled up and pretty.

I usually hate getting all dressed up because, hell, there's no point, but now, with the influx of amazingly hot guys with nice hair, I actually sort of want to make that effort. Yesterday, I did get slightly dressed up, and this random guy in the library actually paused in front of where I was sitting, looked me up and down (wtf am I? a piece of meat?? u fucker!), and waited until I looked up at him in irritation before he gave me this amazing smile and winked.

What the fuck? Why can't guys smile at me like that when I wear my normal jeans and hoodie? Although I hate getting looked over, smiles just soften me like butter. Because of the responses I was getting yesterday, I'm now in the mood to keep on dressing up nicely and wearing that horrible make-up even though I hate it. UGH. I don't know.

In any case, there's only really one guy that I want to attract, but it's getting harder and harder to really find things to talk about with him because we can only talk about film for so long, and I usually end up blushing crazily if I stay there talking with him. It's so obvious I've got the hugest crush on him, but like I've been told before, a guy needs to be hit on the head before he realizes when a girl has a crush on him. I guess I have to be more direct, but I don't want to scare him. Ha, I don't know what to do.

You know, it'd be cool if he ended up liking L'Arc~en~Ciel, too. I think I'd be in love if that would happen LOL.

In any case, I should go. I need to pick out an outfit today for class...

...and I can't believe I'm actually saying this stupid shit. I shouldn't care about what I wear...What the fuck is wrong with me. Sigh.

One thing to look foward to: I've preordered the new L'Arc DVD, and I can't wait to see what's going to be on it!!! I can finally see the Otakon performance, and although I'm still bitter as hell for missing it, at least I'll get the opportunity to hear how awesome Hitomi no Juunin turned out. From the reviews I've heard, Hyde sang the song flawlessly at Otakon, and I'd give anything to see that in real life. But I'll just have to settle for seeing it captured on DVD. It's such an awesome song and everyone should listen to it.

Or die.

---

edit
Ha, I ended up deciding to wear jeans and a hoodie LOLLL. I found myself looking at my reflection while sort of dressed up and I kept thinking, "Do I look fat?" Ugh. So I said, "FUCK IT!" and threw on a tshirt and a hoodie LOL xD Yay!

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Friday, October 1, 2004

   ...
Yes, I'm still alive! Right now, I have semi-writer's block for several short film treatments that are due tomorrow (all of which must add up to 10 pages) for a screenwriting class that I had to work my ass off to get into. This week, I have spent almost all of my days in the library studying, and I'm still behind in all my work.

Good news? I've met someone at the library with an awesome personality who stimuliates me on an intellectual level. And yes, he comes with a nice, gorgeous smile. And nice hair. Crushing hard? Yes, I am. Very much so.

...so much that I'm actually quite determined not to let this one go. I'm not even letting my shyness get in the way this time. I've already initiated conversations with him, when before with previous crushes, I'd usually just stare and hide. I honestly think this one guy may be worth looking like an idiot for. I'm getting that gut feeling that I shouldn't be passive about this.

I hope good luck is with me on this one. I seriously don't know how I'd react if this one had a girlfriend.

And I'm putting my lyrics quiz on a hold for a couple of days because right now, I'm just so damn busy that even going to bed is just going to detain me from finishing any work.

Okay, I've taken too long a break. Must get back to writing! Until next time.
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Friday, September 24, 2004

Haruno_Sakura's Lyric Game! Song Three!
Again, 5 points to Preston. xD for the previous song. It was Aaliyah, "Try Again." I had picked something totally mainstream, so I thought it would've gotten more reponses :(

And Godel, haha LOL I don't know your lyrics, gomen xD I don't mean to make you feel like you no nothing :( It wasn't my intention.

Song Three Lyrics:
"Give me a smile and shiny days"

LOL.

Sorry, I'm in school now, and I'm taking my senior seminar for my university graduation exit, and I'm already dying.

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Monday, September 20, 2004

Haruno_Sakura's Lyrics Game - Song Three!
Song 2 Answer:
L'Arc~en~Ciel - Blurry Eyes

Another five points to Preston! So right now he has 10 points and everyone else: 0 points.

Are my lyrics really that hard? LOL. I thought that the last song was relatively easy, especially with the clues I'd given. Gomen, maybe I'll pick something that everyone should know to make it much more fair...and that'll mean stepping out of the JRock/JPop genre.

Song Three Lyrics:
What would you do to get to me
What would you say to have your way
Would you give up or try again
If I hesitate to let you in?

Now...that should be easy. LOL. Ganbatte!

Winner at the end of the game gets a nifty banner xD

---

Am moving back to school tomorrow. May not be able to come online or anything.

You know, even though someone already answers, the next two people who mention the song can get 3 pts and 1 pt respectively LOL.

And in other news, my parents yelled at me at today for spending my grocery money on L'Arc~en~Ciel merchandise. But I think it should be my choice whether I want to eat or starve and get L'Arc stuff.

Food or L'Arc~en~Ciel? The answer is only obvious, damn it.

And a few days ago, I told you guys about two of my guy friends who told me they liked me. >_< I actually may like one of them back. I was doing some thinking last night, and I realized that he's just such a cool guy, and when we were talking the other day, I was like, "Holy shit, did he always look this cute?" LOL. And my heart did that funny fluttering thing that I get when I realize I may have a crush on someone.

But I'm going to make sure that I like him for him and not because I want a boyfriend. Because that would be fucked up. So I'm not going to say anything to him just yet as I work my feelings out xD



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Saturday, September 18, 2004

Haruno Sakura's Lyric Game! Song Two -
Answer for Song One:
M-Flo - Miss You

5 pts to Preston!
...and no more points awarded to anyone else because no one else knew what the answer was -_-'

Here's a lyric from Song #2 (I'll make it so easy, it'll be damn shame if you don't get it o_O):

Why do you stare at the sky

Hint: I guess I should point some people in the right direction. What I may find easy may not be so easy to others I guess xD For all you JRock fans, it's a song that L'Arc performs at like every single concert. For anime fans, think D.N.A.^2.


Leave your answers in the comments. Remember, you'll get a nifty P'unk~en~Ciel-inspired banner (made by yours truly) if you have the most points at the end of the game! xD

---

Thanks for the advice, minna-san xD I'm still a little iffy about what I should do, but I have an inking of how to handle the situation.

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Friday, September 17, 2004

   Haruno Sakura's Lyrics Game - Song One:
I've been so incredibly bored as of late that I'm going to post a random ass lyric to a song on my mO, and I want all you lovely people to guess which song the lyric comes from!

Here's how it'll work: I'll have a point system (5 pts to the first correct guess, 3 pts to the second correct guess, 1 pt to the 3rd correct guess), and whoever ends up with the most points at the end of the month (or whenever I decide to end the game) has the right to claim that he or she is by far the coolest person in the whole entire world (but not in the universe, as that title exclusively goes to every single one of the members of L'Arc~en~Ciel).

Prize: I'll make a banner and everything for whoever wins, and you can do what you want with it, like post it on your mO, on your OB signature, whatever! You don't even have to use it if you don't want, but it will feature the kawaii P'unk~en~Ciel anime-fied L'Arc members on it ^_^

Now, this game will focus primarily on JPop/JRock, just to make it a little harder xD And knowing me, a majority of these songs are going to be based on L'Arc~en~Ciel, so listen to them like crazy, not only to play this game, but because they are obviously by far the coolest band ever.

However, the first song featured won't be from them because that would only be too obvious, and much, much too easy.

Now, with all that out of the way, here are the first lyrics:

futari de iru no ni I miss you
chikaku ni itemo boy I miss you

Leave me a comment with the name of the band/artist and the name of the song, and I'll post up the results the next time I update with the second song xD

---

Fate really loves to fuck with me.

Something weird just happened to me the other day. One of my guy friends had made a vow to himself that he'd be more honest with himself and with everyone around him. And so to start of with the honesty, he confessed to me that he has a crush on me, and he had been liking me for several months. o_O So, after being shocked for a bit, we carried on talking as though he hadn't declared such a thing, but I sort of feel weird about the situation because I honestly don't know what I feel for him.

As if I weren't confused enough, later on that same day, I was talking to another one of my guy friends, and somehow the conversation turned to that of relationships, and suddenly he, too, blurts out that he liked me.

???O_O???

...Okay. So what the hell am I supposed to do? I always thought I was the kind of girl who would only ever be seen as the cool gal friend, but not as girlfriend material because that's how I feel I've been treated since...well, since forever, haha.

I'm so fucking confused because I honestly don't know what I'm feeling since both of these guys are my really cool friends.

...in other words...HELP?
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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

   Random babble.
I caved in and downloaded the first episode of Samurai 7. Because I hold Akira Kurosawa's works near and dear to my heart, this anime is going to have to work its ass off to get my approval.

So far, I've seen the first episode, and I can't exactly say it's gotten me totally excited just yet. I may have to see a few more episdes before I actually warm up to it. However, I don't ever see this anime ever making me absolutely obsessed to the point where I need to watch it every other week. The style of the characters isn't all that interesting so far, and in fact, I find all of them rather boring and two-dimensional. We shall see how they develop (or not) in the next few episodes. If I'm not satisfied, I'm not going to continue with it.

In any case, episode 2 is at 0% because people just don't want to seed these things T_T I'm going with Lunar's releases because everything I've gotten from them have been great, so I'm sticking to them.

I'm still waiting for AonE to hurry it up with Samurai Champloo. At first, the show was just okay for me because the hip hop elements of it threw me off, but I'm really loving it right now. However, because AonE is like super behind, I may have to resort to getting episodes from other fansub groups.

A show I highly recommend for all of you is this dorama called Shinsengumi! Now that's what I call some samurai live action. Sure the first seven or so episodes were a little slow, but it's really gotten quite interesting. I think there's been at least two or three people who've committed seppuku in the latest episodes I've gotten a hold of.

And anything with Fujiwara Tatsuya in it already has a bonus 500+ approval points from me because I absolutely love him. But I've been fascinated with the Shinsengumi for a while, so to see this in a live action dorama is pretty damn cool. Yamamoto Taro (Battle Royale, Moon Child) is also in it, so he's adds a bit of good ole comic relief.

In any case...I've got about a week before I have to go back to school. I honestly can't wait to go back because I've been bored out of my mind, but you know after a week or so of classes, I'll be complaining along with the rest of you. And because I'm taking my senior seminar this quarter (as in the one class that'll serve as credit for my graduation exit), I'm going to be stressed the fuck out.

But it'll all be worth it because by June 2005, I'll be a college graduate. w00t. Goddamn, I feel old.

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Sunday, September 12, 2004

   ....
baroque disbanded.

and they just released their album.

wtf.

o_O


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Friday, September 10, 2004

   Happy Birthday Natsuki-san!
Well officially, his birthday is tomorrow, but since it's already the 11th in Japan, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATSUKI-SAN! (If you don't know who I'm talking about...:points at banner: )

That is all.
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