Wednesday, December 1, 2004

I have no title for this post.
I feel like an idiot because I have so many papers to type up by the end of this week (in total about 25-30 pages), and so far, I've only got my name down on one of the documents. I'm at that point where I absolutely do not want to do anything, and that's horrible since this is my final week of school before the quarter ends, and so this is the most critical week for me. I'm supposed to be heading to the library right now to finish up my research on one of my projects, but instead, I'm just sitting here like I've got no worries in the world. What the hell is wrong with me? Do I not understand how dire the situation is? I have to do extremely well because these are the final classes in my Film major, and I'm basically done with college. Someone slap me.

---

I just realized that I'm at a point in my life where I just don't like anyone or have any crushes on anyone, and it's weird because I've ALWAYS had someone to crush on at least, and now that I don't...I don't know. It feels weird. It seems like all I care about nowadays is just studying, and although I hate it, I'm actually alright with just having that to worry about because thinking about crushes or whatever is just a distraction that I really don't need at the moment. So I guess I can say that I don't have anyone to crush on, nor do I really care all that much. It would be nice to find someone, but actually, I'm really quite alright without it in my life at the moment. I'm also sort of hoping that I don't meet anyone wonderful because I don't want to end up like a sappy ass girl who only daydreams about her boyfriend and constantly talks about him all the goddamn time. I don't want to end up like that, and almost every single one of my friends who have been in relationships have totally just gone nuts with love. Blegh. Tis really sort of disgusting. This could also be my fear of commitment talking, but I don't want to be like that. I guess you could say that my cynicism with relationships and love is sort of more entertaining for me than the idea of being all crazy in love, if that makes sense.

---

And why I digressed to this particular subject, I have no clue, but I'm going to go now because I really should get to the library, LOL. I feel like Nara Shikamaru from Naruto; everything just seems so troublesome. xD

Comments (3)