Sunday, November 21, 2004

Life is full of melodrama and boredom...but what to do?

I feel as though I'm on auto pilot. I can't snap myself out of this rut I'm in. I'm not all that sure I want to. I just feel so listless. I want to change it, but this overwhelming sense of hesitation stops me. What can I do about it? How can I stop the endless monotany of my days? *sighs* I'm not all that sure. At the same time, my life is so melodramatic right now. I'm in this continuous struggle to keep two friend that don't get along too well. I have been "best friends" with Cameron since 7th grade. Freshman year I became friends with Leanne. Cameron hates Leanne because "she tries too hard, everything has to be centered around her," and apparently Leanne is taking me away from Cameron. -__- I can't stand it. CAmeron wrote me this really crappy email full of drama that went like this: Don’t say you’ve tried because you haven’t. You haven’t tried at all and I think it is obvious that I have; especially this week. I don’t know who you are and you won’t tell me. So, in short, I give up! I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I can’t read your mind and that I am not in band and that I work on weekends and that I can’t stay up for all hours of the night. I’m sorry that I’m not your best friend anymore. And don’t give me that shit about you having more than one best friend and blah blah blah. A best friend is the first person you go to when you have a problem or gossip. A best friend is there for you; period no questions asked. Well, frankly, I don’t seem to be that person anymore. I don’t want to bother you anymore than I apparently have. Oh, and I have ears. I hear everything you say. I knew you were going to spend the night with her; I didn’t want to be invited; to be the third wheel. The only question is how dumb do you think I am? I don’t know you anymore, at this rate I’m I guess I might have never know you. And I’m not mad or sad about it, I’m numb. I’m numb to the world and everyone in it. Oh, and I’m not saying that we are not friends anymore. I am just telling you how I feel and that there is no need to call me you best friend; you my give that name to my successor (Leanne). I understand that her mom is wacky and that she didn’t have a date and that she might not have many friends, but is it so much to ask to have one night with just you and your date and me and mine. Is it so much to ask that we keep our old promises and stay best friends forever, because I know I planned on keeping that promise? Whenever she is around it doesn’t seem like anything we have agreed on. I am a third wheel on any occasion and even when she isn’t around I still don’t know who you’ve turned into. You’ve changed just like everyone else and I always thought that you would be the one that would change with me instead of against me, but it's the little things that you don’t tell me and that I don’t know that hurt the most. I don’t know when or why it changed. All I can do is guess that it is because you spend so much time with your band friends; your real friends. So, it was nice knowing you, I will retreat now to the back of the line and follow what is going on in your life from a distance; as it seems I should have been all along. -Cameron- I didn't know what to say so I just didn't say anything about it...I still haven't. It pisses me off that she would go off on me like that simply because I invited Leanne to come with us to dinner on Homecomming because she didn't have a date. I didn't expect Cameron to be such a bitch. But she was. I realize that most of you are just like...screw her...you don't need her. But I don't want 4 years of friendship to go down the hole. Now everything is all akward between us for two reasons: 1. I don't want to say anything because I know she will turn it around on me. 2. I found out her boyfriend of 3 years cheated on her in the beginning...and she thinks it is a lie...she won't accept any other answer. I haven't said anything about that either. I really don't know what to do. *sigh* I hate really drama. Thank you for reading my rant. I am still working on the next layout for mO. I gotta figure out what I want to do on it. I may ask VAl or Preston for some help with a banner....I just don't know. -__-

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Tuesday, November 2, 2004

   Seeing as Pre-Cal will be the death of me....

I'm so behind on my Pre Cal homeowrk.....but I am so lazy that I won't do it. x__X I have narrowed down the possible layouts to 2. I gotta finish the second, then I will decide which I like better. How on earth am I still #342 when I haven't updated in weeks? I have been somewhere between #340 and #354 since I first registered this mO. Why is that???? O__o I am on episode 99 right now of everybody's favorite show, Naruto. I cried 2 nights ago while watching it. I still cannot believe the most awesome old geezer is dead. I was sitting there during the funeral just bawling. I am still a bit sad, but hey...the old man did great things while he was alive so he can die now. ^__~ I also found out why Godel-chan is so obsessed with Tsunade. SHE FREAKIN' RAWKS MY FACE OFF!!!!11!!!!1!! I mean geez.... how can you not love her. She gambles for god's sake! I'm done.

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Monday, October 25, 2004

   So lazy....

Honestly, that is the only thing that has kept me from posting this past week. I am just too lazy to ever do anything on here. ^__~ I have good news for you Mr. jiggy-Fly...... I made some new banners. w00t! I love them bunches. One is freakin' awesome because it features the loverly Hatake Kakashi, and the other is from Kingdom Hearts. I don't know why buy I have gotten back into Kingdom Hearts. I can't wait for the second game to come out. I want a GameBoy Advance so that I can play the game on that platform that is a continuance of KH, but leads to KHII. ^__^ yayness. I was reading through my monthly issue of Anime Insider and I noticed a good, albeit short, article on L'arc-en-ciel's performance at Otakon. I am excited about what they had to say. It said "'I was so happy that music crosses the border,' enthused hyde. 'If we could continue doing that, I'd be very happy.'" Which leads to the assumption that L'ARC MIGHT COME BACK TO THE US!!!! POSSIBLEY (HOPEFULLY) TO SEVERAL LOCATIONS! At least that is what I will infer from this lovely article, which has a small, but nice photo of my Tetsu. *sighs dreamily* God, I'm almost as bad as Val....well not quite but.... x__X Reading this month's AI has gotten me really excited. I found out about a lot of new/old animes that will be relaeased sometime soon. I am expecially psyched about Advent Children, which I am sure will rock my face off. Also more (and better) Yu Yu Hakusho is on the way. It really is a neat magazine this time around. They even had an article on the Naruto Movie! What's that? A Naruto movie? Yep. A Naruto movie. Let me say it again just so you follow me.... A Naruto Movie!!!! I want it. >__< Oh yeah... I'm still working out the kinks on my new layout...hopefully it will be here soon.

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Monday, October 11, 2004

   Silliness...

I am in an extremely silly mood tonight. Don't know why, but I am. ^__~ I went to the mall afterschool today with my mommy. We walked around a bit. I found this coat I like that she is going to buy me sooner or later. It is a black Pea Coat (A coat worn by naval officers) that is only $45 from Aeropostal. Pretty good, eh? I love it. It is just so cute. I found out what I am going to be for Halloween (yes, I am too old for trick-or-treating but I do it anyway). I will be a ninja...not just any ninja though...a ninja from Naruto. I'm thinking Iruka-Sensei since I have brown hair like his and I like him. I just will be a female Iruka. I'm gonna get some black leggings (yes I know the characters wear navy, but I already have a black top), my black quater-length sleeved top, sandals, a skirt I will make, and hopefully a headband that I will purchase off of eBay. *crosses fingers* Even if I don't dress up, I still want the headband. I love those things. Heck, I might even go for a Hidden Mist Nin headband. Those are cool. OOH! Or a Sand headband... So many possibilities!! I will be able to get my drivers liscense in 5 days...not that I will of course. I haven't driven in ages. Oh well.

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Wednesday, October 6, 2004

   Yet another pleasant day in my life...

Schoolness I had about 5 bajillion tests/quizes today. Crazy crazy. The Progressive Era test in history was pretty easy. Except for the IDs (you must write Who?, What?, When?, Where?, Why it is important? about 8 of 10 given topics). S.O.B. those are hard. My teacher just deducts random points off of your stuff. And she uses the excuse of "You never said why it was important" when you clearly did or "You were supposed to give me examples of actualy people not just a group(for example union workers)" when she actually said first day of school that she did NOT want specific people unless that was the topic. I hate her. Then we have Fizix (more commonly known as Physics). I did REALLY well on our test we took. It was fairly taxing, but I think I did alright. I'm hoping for an A. One of the questions was this: A physics student watches his rocket (we just did a lab with rockets) sail through the clear blue sky. He begins to think about how much he enjoys his short-lived physics experience. What is the realationship between his/her affection for physics and the grade on his/her next test? A. Inverse B. Exponential C. Direct I love my teacher. No other teacher would even think of putting a question like that on a test. *Huggles teacher-doll* Various other quizes were so easy that I just about died. ^__^ Not-So-Schoolness *Sigh* I must admit my life is fairly boring as of now. I am very glad indeed though that Mr. Baron Samedi came back, even if it is just for a short while. He even left me a comment. *feels special* And Yes I do know, Narob, that smoking is bad. I don't smoke...I hate smoking. I hate drinking too, for that matter. I was thinking of taking some digital pictures of the pictures I got with the Graham Colton Band. But I'm not sure. I also found out last friday that I am going to be in the Parade of Roses in Pasadena, CA next year! w00t! The Parade of Roses takes place before the Rose Bowl, and this year is championship year at the Rose Bowl. We don't actually get to go to the Rose Bowl, but I just want to go back to Cali. I love it there. I went a few Novembers ago for Thanksgiving in Hollywood. Quite a lovely place. But I still love London more. I have been thinking alot about where I want to go to college lately. I still have to take the ACT *nervous twitch* I opted not to take the SAT because A. I can get into college with my ACT score alone B. SAT now comes with a writing section. Ewww. C. ACT is WAY easier. ^__^ I took the easy way out. *dance dance* I'm supposed to be doing Pre-Cal right now. I am 3 days behind on our homework. >__> It is all due Friday, but I don't think I'll do it. I already have an A in there. Plus it is all graphing. I loathe graphing. Honestly, why do I need to learn to graph. It sucks. I hope somebody comments on this. I get maybe 1 or 2 hits a day now. >__> How sad. Maybe I should just become a 100+ to get some visitations. *ponders* "Ponders" is such a great word. It is just fun to say. Ponder Ponder Ponder.... Yeah, I know, I know... I'm done. E D I T : Does anyone know what happened to Tony's sites? They are all down. >__<

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Saturday, October 2, 2004

   You make me wanna smoke a cigarette...

I bought the Graham Colton Band's CD today. Bweeeeeeeee! My favorite song is "Cigarette." They played last night at our school football game. I got to hear a few songs. It was amazing. They sound the exact same live as they do on their album. I took pictures with 4 of them, and got the autograph of all 5. w00tage. Check them out. They are pretty easy-listening. Speaking of autographs....I went to a Dexter Freebish/The Rising/Ben Kweller/Incubus concert a few weeks ago. I loooove Dexter Freebish now. I got them to sign the t-shirt I bought. w00tage again. Layour change coming soon. 'Nuff said. I had something else I wanted to say...but I don't remember it. >__< It has been quite a while, so I don't really remember what I have/haven't said. I have m4d sk!lls in english. We had two days to write this in-class essay on a certain character type, right? Well this one guy spent both days on his and his was uber awesome. He makes a 75 on it. I spent all of about 10 minutes at the end of class on the second day...I didn't really understand what we were supposed to be doing; My intro. paragraph was 1 sentence long; My conclusion paragraph was also 1 sentence; My longest paragraph was about 4 sentences. And what do I make? A freakin' 85!!! I am a BEAST! Heh...not really. But I found it cool that I did so well in such a short amount of time. I know that I wouldn't have given me that grade. I was expecting about a....4. No not 40....a 4. >__> Yeah...I'm gonna work on the new layout now.

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Thursday, September 30, 2004

  

So maybe I don't feel like updating again. 0___O

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Dear God...

I love it! I am completely blown away by it. I forgot that it was comming up today. I forgot that it was supposed to be this cool. I love it though. How can you not love it. And it is orange! BWEEEEEEEE! Although I might change my site colors so that I don't steal it's colors. I'll post more about it later today. I am running a bit behind. Don't you just love IT!???!

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Friday, September 24, 2004

   RAWR!

When I said Graviation in my last post I actually meant my Gravitation music, but I just forgot to type the "music" part. >__< Silly me. I have Gravi on CD's, but the music itself is the best part of the show. Now all the music I have is like 5 songs from Naruto. *Naruto dance* I got back 3 or 5 more of my internet bookmarks. I lost all of the websites from my list of friends. Now all I have are Alan's and Tony's. Darn it all. I am going to the Homecomming dance tonight after the football game. >__> Adam asked me last week...or maybe the week before...whatever...yeah he asked me. After the dance a whole bunch of us are going to go to IHOP!!! I luv IHOP. ^__~ 'Tis all. I really need to get back into the habbit of updating. I don't really turn my computer on anymore because it just makes me sad. >__<

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Monday, September 20, 2004

Ivan, Schmivan....

Yeah, that was a complete waste of my life right there. We got like.... 4 or 5 inches of rain. Not to shabby, but still pretty dumb considering what they said was going to happen. The power stayed on the whole time at my house. As a plus I did get to be out of school Thursday and Friday, but I am sure we will pay for that later. >__> I got my Naruto DVDs in the mail on Wednesday so I have been watching them like crazy!! I am now on disk for at the part where Naruto figths Neji in the Chuunin exams. Whoa buddy. Kakashi completely rocks my socks off!!! He is teh c00135+!!!111 *cough* But yeah. He is so fun to watch. I also really really like Temari. It was neat-o watching her fight. But Gaara.....I love him. He is a beast when it comes to fighting. He is really cute when he was little too. ^__^ But my favorite village is the Sound. All of the people I have seen are uer-cool, especially Zaku. I finally realized why all of you love it so much. And I also won't feel left out anymore in conversations with Dan and Preston. ^__^ I also have some very sad news. My computer died!!! O__o Somehow that damn hurricane managed to completely erase everything off of my computer. Thankfully I listened when my dad told me to make a backup CD, but I still lost alot of stuff that I simply neglected to back up. All of my internet bookmarks, for instance. I used to have somewhere around 50. Now I have 6. >__< Ah well...I can remember all the ones that are worth remembering. ^__^ But I lost ALL of my music/video downloads. That is what peeves me the most. No more L'arc-en-ciel. No more Gravitation. No more iMesh, BitTorrent, WinMX, or anyother softwares. Haze ish very sad indeed. >___>

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