001) What time are you starting this?: Five-ish
002) Name?: I prefer to be called “sir”
003) Date of birth?: I was hatched
004) Sex?: Not right now, thank you.
005) Height?: 6’1”
006) Eye color?: mostly white
007) Weight?: 185lbs…fighting weight baby!
008) Location?: Kickin’ Ass in the U.S. of A
009) Where were you born?: refer to “hatched” answer
010) Have you ever failed a grade?: I have got a failing grade but I never failed a grade
011) If you have, what grade did you fail?: Can’t you read motherfucker?
012) Do you have crush on someone?: Besides myself?
013) Do you have a bf/gf?: Abbreviations confuse me…
014) If so, what is their name?: If so what is who’s name?
015) How long have you been together?: What the fuck are you talking about? Does this have anything to do with those damn abbreviations?
016) What are you wearing right now?: Oh, I see where this question I heading…no, I am not wearing a condom, you got me.
017) Would you have sex before marriage?: Only if she was really hot, or if she was willing to have sex with me.
018) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: Yeah, but none of them were willing to sleep with me.
019) Are you a virgin?: If I say “yes” will it make you like me any better?
020) Do you smoke?: I dabbled in the marijuana in my youth…
021) Do you drink?: What gives you the right to cal me an alcoholic!
022) Are you ghetto?: Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got….
023) Are you a player?: Nah, golf doesn’t interest me
024) What are your favorite colors?: White Power!...uhm, that didn’t come out right.
025) What is your favorite animal?: I am not sure, though I know my least favorite animal is the midget.
026) Do you have any birthmarks?: Just a fourth nipple
027) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: Not for five whole minutes bitch!
028) Who are your best friends?: Do you honestly think people want to hang out with me?
029) Have you ever beat someone up?: What? You want to go right now bitch? We will fight!
030) Who do you talk to most on the phone?: People that insist I owe them money.
031) Have you ever been slapped?: Only by women.
032) Do you get online a lot?: Yes, and I still haven’t watched all of the porn on the internet.
033) Are you shy or outgoing?: I am outgoing towards shy people because I enjoy giving them a false sense of security.
034) Do you shower?: I am writing this in the shower…
035) Do you hate school?: Only when I have to pay for it. Why the hell should I have to pay to get graded on something.
036) Do you have a social life?: Does talking to yourself and your plants count?
037) How easily do you trust people?: I never trust anyone, oh by the way, do you mind holding onto my wallet full of cash for a moment?
038) Have you ever lied to your best friends?: Of course, if they knew what I was really like they wouldn’t hang out with me!
039) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: My penis is not a s long as you would be led to believe,
040) Would you ever sky dive?: What do you think I am doing while I am filling out this quiz, while I am in the shower?
041) Do you like to dance?: I only dance erotically.
042) Do you like your handwriting?: I only write erotically.
044) What is the compliment you get most from people?: “Hey, you don’t smell today.”
045) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Not in the Face
046) What's your biggest fear?: Besides Midgets? Maybe two midgets?
047) Can you sing?: Twice as good as Brittney Spears
048) You ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: I pretended to be Janet Reno once to get into a bar.
049) Are you a loner?: Only when no one is around
050) What is your number?: I didn’t know I owned a number, hopefully it isn’t one. It is so lonely that I am sure it would be needy.
051) If you were another person, would you be friends with who you are now?: How the hell am I supposed to answer a bullshit question like that?
052) Are you a daredevil?: No, I am Be Affleck.
053) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Besides myself in general?
054) Are you aggressive or passive?: I am passive, unless you piss me off. Then I will pop you in the mouth bitch!
055) Have you got a journal?: No, journals are for queers
056) What is your greatest strength and weakness? Strength=The ability to remain conscious after consuming tons of alcohol; Weakness=Projectile vomiting
057) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be, why?: Have to go with “penis size” again
058) There are three wells: love, beauty and creativity; which one would you drink out of?: I would drink out of the third in order to creatively think of a way to drink out of the first two,
060) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Well, I do cry a lot.
061) Do you live in the moment?: I am sorry, what were you saying?
062) Do you have any bad habits?: Well, I do enjoy heroine quite a bit
063) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Don’t walk in front of traffic.
064) What do you like the most about your body?: My sexy body.
065) And least? The size of my ass, it is fucking huge.
066) Do you think you are good looking?: Hell yeah, I’d fuck myself if I could.
067) Are you confident?: Only when I am hopped up on amphetamines.
068) Have you ever been out of state?: Where do think I am typing this from? I am in skydiving with my shower over another state.
069) Do you like to travel?: Only when I don’t have to leave my house
070) Have you ever been expelled from school?: Nah, I am too cool for school.
071) Have you ever been suspended from school?: I just said I was too cool for school, didn’t I? Get your head out of your ass.
071) Do you want to get out of your hometown?: I was forcibly removed.
072) Are you spoiled?: Only when I don’t get what I want.
073) Are you a brat?: No.
074) Have you ever been dumped?: Yeah right, any girl would give their left arm to get with a fine piece of man like me.
075) Have you ever gotten high?: What? Do you have some pot?
076) What's your favorite drink?: Anything that has enough alcohol to kill a small animal.
077) Do you like Snapple?: Only if it has booze in it.
078) Do you drink a lot of water?: Only if it has booze in it.
079) What toothpaste do you use?: Only if it has bo…oh sorry. I use Crest
080) Do you have a cell phone or pager?: What, do you think I am just going to give you my digits?
081) Do you have a curfew?: I have to arrive home in time to shower before work.
082) Who do you look up to?: The Kool Aid Man, because he is kick ass.
083) Are you a role model?: I am proud to say that I am.
084) Have you ever been to Six Flags?: No, I went once but they don’t let naked people into the park.
085) What name brand do you wear the most?: Kleenex
086) What kind of jewelry do you wear?: I never go anywhere without my pimp cup.
087) What do you have pierced?: Just my sac.
088) What do you want pierced?: maybe a tongue ring that I could attach a chain to and wear it in tandem with my sac ring.
089) Do you like taking pictures?: Only of my pierced sac.
090) Do you like getting your picture taken?: Only of my pierced sac.
091) Do you have a tan?: Only on my pieced sac.
092) Do you get annoyed easily?: Only when people frequently mention my pierced sac.
093) Have you ever started a rumor?: Only that one I started about Elvis still being alive.
094) Do you have your own phone/phone line?: Yeah, a 1-900 number. And it is HOT
095) Do you have your own pool?: Yes, I inflate it every Tuesday
096) Do you have any siblings?: None that will admit being related to me
097) Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Commando
098) Have you ever been played?: No but I’ve been served.
099) Have you ever played anyone?: No, I hate the game.
100) Do you get along with your parents?: Only when we aren’t speaking
102) How do you vent your anger?: I kick midgets
103) Have you ever run away?: Once, no one has still bothered to look for me.
104) Have you ever been fired from a job?: Not this week.
105) Do you even have a job?: Not this week
106) Do you daydream a lot?: What was the question again?
107) Do you have a lot of exes?: They all live in Texas. With that corny line I think you can determine how many exes I have.
108) Do you run your mouth?: Of course, bitch.
109) What do you want a tattoo of?: Me kicking your ass.
110) What do you have a tattoo of?: Me getting kicked by an ass.
111) What are your favorite flowers?: The ones that you can smoke.
112) What does your ex bf/gf look like?: She was a fluff girl in a porno flick
113) What does your most recent crush look like?: Like the star of a porno flick…
114) Have you ever been bitched out?: Probably getting bitched out right now.
115) When was the last time you bitched someone out?: Pay attention you jive turkey.
116) Are you rude?: Do I really need to answer this?
117) What was the last compliment you received?: "It isn’t as small as I thought it would be”
118) Do you like getting dirty?: Are you coming on to me?
119) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: You are coming on to me!
120) Are you flexible?: Jesus Christ, I don’t want to sleep with you!
121) What is your heritage?: look, I said that I am not going to fuck you, you dirty, dirty slut.
122) What is your lucky number?: No means no.
123) What does your hair look like right now?: Okay, you’ve got ten minutes.
124) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: Only if I could still eat meat.
125) When was your last real heartbreak?: When I lost my He-man action figure yesterday.
126) Describe your looks?: Sexy Beast
127) If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: A very sexy color…probably indigo.
128) Would you ever date someone younger than you?: Sure, as long as they didn’t tell the cops.
129) Would you ever date someone older than you?: Only if they are hot.
130) When was the last time you were drunk?: Not counting now?
131) When was the last time you went on a date?: Ever since the female gender collectively filed a restraining order.
132) Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: I am a giver, but I’d rather be a taker.
133) Have you ever given?: Obviously
134) Have you ever received?: Retract your teeth!
135) Have you ever had an eating disorder?: Only in order to better my self worth.
136) Do you have one now?: No, but I am feeling pretty low, give me a week.
137) How many rings until you answer the phone?: I don’t like creditors, I let the answering machine get it.
138) Have you ever been skinnydipping?: What do you think I am doing right now?
139) If yes, when was the last time?: …pay attention ass mouth.
140) Do you look more like your mother or father?: Whoever gives me more money on my birthday.
141) Do you cry a lot?: Constantly
142) Do you ever cry to get your way?: Of course, it is a great ice braker.
143) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: My fourth nipple.
144) What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: “No, Charlie isn’t home, but I’ll let him know you called”
145) Are you the romantic type?: only when I am suicidal
146) Have you ever been chased by cops?: That’s why I was skydiving naked!
147) What do you like most about your body?: I am sexy all over
148) What do you like least about your body?: my penis
149) Who did you last hook up with?: Brittney Spears, and she gave me VD
150) When was the last time you threw up?: 1 hour and 16 minutes ago
151) In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: As long as they shave their pubic hair I have no preference.
152) What do the shoes you last wore look like?: Like ass kicking shoes…
153) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: Only during my runway shows
<154) What about cleavage?: Again, you have to be enticing in drag
155) Is your best friend a virgin?: I wouldn’t date a virgin unless she was going to put out.
156) Have you ever fucked someone up?: There are too many meanings to this question, but yes.
157) Have you ever been fucked up?: Ditto
158) What color are your underwear right now?: Underwear schmunderwear
159) What theme does your room have?: It is very messy
160) What size shoe do you wear? Twelve, big but not too big
161) What jewelry are you wearing now?: besides my sac ring and my pimp cup? Nada.
162) What is your screen name on AIM?: Squeelikeapig
163) Would you pick a wedgie in public?: yeah
164) How are you feeling right now?: I am feeling sexy and itchy from Brittney disease.
165) When was the last time you were at a party?: Invited or uninvited
166) Have you ever given a lapdance?: Only naked
167) What do you sleep in?: A blanket made of a thousand midget skins
168) Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: Is there ever not a rumor about me.
169) What is one of your bad qualities?: Brittney Spears gave me a venereal disease, oh, and I am selfish.
170) What is one of your good qualities?: I am sexy
171) Would you marry for money?: Is there any other reason to marry.
172) What do you drive?: Nothing, ever since I broad sided Billy Joel
173) Have you ever given or received roadhead?: Only while she was driving, hence the Billy Joel incident.
174) Are you more of a mama or daddy's child?: I was hatched cock.
175) What's does your myOtaku username mean?: It means I totally kick ass
176) What's your favorite myOtaku to read?: the one about porn
177) When was the last time you cried in school?: yesterday
178) Do you wear Chucks?: Only when I have no other hats to wear.
179) For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy?: Hell yeah, but I would have to get a penis enlargement.
180) What time are you finishing this?: Seven-ish….
