Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Read Me, Ya Know You Want To

If you read yesterday’s post, I owe you an apology. It was an embarrassing conglomeration of horrific writing and rambling situations. Unfortunately, it accompanied my mood perfectly. Today I thought I would post some Random Thoughts because I am in a very random mood 1. A guy in my office told me that wrestling was fake last night. I was devastated. I have been a wrestling fan since I was five and I was under the impression that professional wrestling was real and existed in a universe parallel to ours where brawny men settle all their disputes with physicality. 2. MTV finally accepted STAND’s petitions to ban smoking from MTV. In response, I tailed one of their members to a Portuguese cat house where I took pictures of him injecting heroin in his eye and then making love to a cocker-spaniel. But, I guess as long as he refrains from smoking cigarettes he is a morally upstanding citizen. 3. If Christina Aguilera was bald she would be Christina Have-no-hair-a. Okay, I stole that one from Adam Sandler’s MTV Movie Awards acceptance speech for Big Daddy, but it is quite funny. 4. I think that if Eskimos were forced to live on reservations I would visit their casino’s and gamble quite frequently. 5. Do you know that people actually eat tongue? I wonder if it tastes you tasting it… 6. Texas, it is not just a state in America it is a state of stupidity. 7. Why must I bash Texas, you ask? I guess I feel that baseball caps are inferior to their wide brimmed hats and I must compensate by belittling them every chance I get (by the way guys, string ties went out in the...actually they never were fashionable) 8. I scream, you scream, we all scream when a deranged lunatic is chasing us with a machete. 9. I bet you thought that I was going to end the previous rhyme with ice cream. Well you thought wrong! I don’t scream for ice cream, I squeal like an over joyed little girl that just watched a Brittany Spears video. 10. I really don’t have anything else to write, ten just seemed like a healthy even number to end on. 11. I don’t like healthy even numbers… Shameless Plug: Buy Muse’s album Showbiz. You can find it at Best Buy for $9…it is a great CD, better than the Beta Band!

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