Guess What?....
I really hate when people try and begin a conversation in that fashion. What are the chances of accurately answering this question without prior knowledge of possible topics? I bet the odds aren’t quite as good as being struck by lightning while simultaneously finding out you won the mega millions lottery but slightly better than sinking in quicksand while being mauled by a giant panda bear in the middle of the Sahara only to discover that you have both anti-panda spray and a grappling hook in your left trouser pocket.
Guess What? is also the possibly the emptiest question you can ask someone because you really don’t want the person to actually guess anything, you just want them to mumble “what” so you can continue on with your petty little diatribe. That is why I always respond to this question in the same fashion. I simply reply with the following: “unfortunately I have no answer right now, but allow me to ponder your question for a bit and I will get back to you shortly.” Then I walk the fuck away.
And now a brief explanation of….
…tea bagging. Actually I refuse to explain the term, but I will point the curious in the right direction. I guarantee that if you Google the term Google’s mighty search engine will point you to a gazillion sites that will be happy to explain it to you in graphic detail.
By the way, when I have kids and they come to the age when it is time for them to learn about the birds and the bees (or fucking for those that metaphors are lost on) I think I am going to Google a porn site and show them. After all, most children learn better from visuals then from sound….
