I got a good laugh from your answers. I owe a big thank you to everybody that took the time to answer my questions. For those of you that didn’t, well if I were you I would pray that voodoo curses don’t work or there might be a bunch of bald Otakuites wodering around.
Anyway here are the correct answers for the questionnaire. “There are correct answers”, you ask? Of course, this wasn’t a subjective quiz.
1. What would you find more frightening, a giant half shark half elephant that tramples and eats everything in its path or a tribe of cannibal midgets that smell like garlic and worship goats?
It is fairly easy to avoid a giant half shark half elephant because you can spot them a mile away. Cannibal midgets, on the other hand are terrifying and very stealthy. The added “garlic” smell helps to ward off the midgets natural predators (vampires) as well.
2. Which group of people do you despise more, the French or the French Canadians? (please explain)
The French Canadians are both Canadian and French, what could be more despicable than a Frenchman that says “aye” all the time?
3. What is more important, oxygen or sea turtles? (please explain)
Sea Turtles, according to PETA we couldn’t breathe without them.
4. If you won $80,000,000 in the lottery how much money would you give to charity?
You would tithe 10%.
5. If you are a sucker and decided to give some of your hard won money away, what charities would you give it to?
The 10% you tithed would go to the church of Charlie
6. Who is a bigger whore, Brittney Spears or Paris Hilton? (please explain)
Trick question. Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton are equal in their whoreishness because they share the same vagina. What, you didn’t think there were two vaginas on earth that fowl, did you?
7. How many times have you thought about having sex since you started answering these questions?
Seven, so far you have thought about sex before reading every question.
8. Do you find it pretty pathetic that some pharmacists have stopped selling birth control pills because it conflicts with their moral values?
Yes…fuck the pharmacists.
9. If you didn’t answer the above question with a “yes” were you kicked in the head by a donkey at a young age or are you directly related to Jerry Falwell?
Not Applicable, unless you answered “Yes” to question eight and still happen to be related to Jerry Falwell. If that is the case I am truly sorry for you.
10. Would you rather get herpes or give someone herpes?
Tis’ the season of giving.
11. If you were a Super Hero what would your Super Hero name be and what powers would you have?
Captian Spoinky, the power to seduce the opposite sex with but a glance.
12. If you were a Super Villain what would your Super Villain name be and what powers would you have.
Bizarro Spoinky, the power to seduce married members of the opposite sex.
13. If you were a Super Prostitute what would your Prostitute name be and what venereal disease would you spread?
Lollita the one-eyed slurper…all of them.
14. Do you agree that by taking the time to answer the previous questions you have wasted a portion of your life that you will never be able to recover?
Of course, then again reading this journal tends to waste a terrible amount of my precious life.
15. How many times have you thought about having sex since I last asked you how many times you had thought about having sex?
At least fifteen although probably more if you got tired of reading and decided to visit a porn website.
