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Vitals

Birthday
• 1980-06-16
Gender
• Male
Location
• Avoiding taxidermists
Member Since
• 2003-07-31
Occupation
• Hobo

Personal

Achievements
• Do you think a guy like me ever accomplishes anything?
Anime Fan Since
• Sci Fi network first played Akira in the nineties
Favorite Anime
• Cowboy Bebop
Goals
• I am not motivated enough for goals
Hobbies
• Attempting to avoid becoming motivated enough to set goals
Talents
• Don Juan, eat your heart out!

myOtaku.com: Heavens Cloud

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Getting My Ass Kicked By Billy Blank

Yesterday I was given Tae-Bo Advanced as a gag gift from my mom. Me mater, as I so lovingly refer to her in my horribly garish Irish accent, saw it at a used bookstore and purchased it for me, knowing that my gym buddies and I reference spandex clad male “spinners” as Billy Blank wannabies. When I received this gift, I stared blankly at Billy Blanks photograph on the DVD cover, wondering why someone would waste their money on such a useless gift. But, like the old saying goes, “never judge a book by its cover” or in this case never judge a workout routine by infomercials.

I recently started jogging in the morning. When I woke up, however, air was as hot and thick as pea soup, smoldering any desire to jog. Not wanting to go without a morning exercise, I decided to throw in Tae-Bo advanced. I figured that the 45 minute workout would at least let me work up a sweat. Boy did I ever underestimate Billy Blanks. Within the first five minutes I was drenched in sweat and by the ten minute mark I was huffing and puffing for breath. Twenty minutes into the video I began falling out of sync with the video, but I wasn’t about to give up, I was enjoying myself too much. The tight stomached young women in the background had barely worked up a sweat at the thirty minute mark; I on the other hand, an athletic, muscular , man, was doing one repetition for every three or four of theirs. At the end of the video I fell to the floor gasping for air, wondering if I was going to throw up. Billy Blank wasn’t even winded. I hated Billy Blank at that moment, not because I was jealous but because he made me admit to myself that I was wrong, that there are better more enjoyable ways to exercise individually then jogging in humid, fiery weather.

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