I hate airlines. Every time I purchase I ticket I feel violated, I feel like the airline has made me its bitch.
In a couple weeks I am flying home for my mom’s fiftieth birthday so I went online to check air fare yesterday. The fare was pretty low when I checked around noon, about $140 or so. However, because I was at the office, I waited until I arrived back at my house before I booked the flight. Big mistake, by four pm the price for my airline ticket jumper from $140 to $217.
I couldn’t think of a single logical explanation as to why there was a seventy dollar price increase in the space of four hours, so I called USAir and asked them why there was such a sudden shift in price. They answered my question with a question, “Well sir, don’t you find that rate comparable to similar flights on other airlines?”
No. I don’t. Here are the reasons why. First and foremost, USAir sucks. The planes that commute between Pittsburgh and Greensboro are some of the smallest, sketchiest planes that I have ever flown on (I do fly quite regularly, I find myself on a plane at least once a month or so) and they offer the passenger the least amount of space possible without requiring them to be an amputee.
Second, there I have no basis of comparison for pricing a flight between Pittsburgh and Greensboro because USAir is the only airline that offers the flight. So what am I supposed to compare prices to? I can fly roundtrip to Chicago or New York for $120, however, I cannot fly to Australia for under $300 so I guess I am getting a bargain flying to Greensboro as opposed to Melbourne (although I am definitely getting screwed on a per mile ratio).
Finally, USAir sucks, wait didn’t I write that already? Yes I did, but it needed to be reiterated. USAir is a usually a great airline if I have nothing better to do the day that I am traveling than searching for my baggage or waiting in the terminal for a flight that should have boarded an hour earlier.
Yeah, so fuck USAir. Fuck ‘em in the ass with a twenty pound dildo made from a piece of concrete that was excavated from a run down 7/11 parking lot (oh thank heaven).
