I feel like I should write something here even though I have very little to talk about. Lately life has been pretty ordinary, lots of school work, lots of work work, and lots of me wasting valuable time lying around in front of the television.
Oh wait, I lied. Something did happen to me this weekend. On Saturday night I went out to a local bar, a shitty smoke filled hole called Nicky’s, with my friend Melissa (I know some people like using fake names for people they know in real life, but I don’t…after all, what are the chances that you’ll meet my friends?). Immediately upon walking into the dive I noticed Amy sitting at the bar with a few guys.
Melissa introduced me to Amy back in August and we went on a couple of dates. We never really hit it off (she just never realized that the world, nay, the universe, revolves around me) but we never had an ugly fall out either. In other words, we are friendly but not friends.
Anyway, Melissa and I went and sat at some vacated barstools next to Amy and made amiable chit chat. After few minutes we were introduced to Amy’s boyfriend, Mr. Assface, and his friends, the douche bag posse.
The first hour or so went by without a hitch and I was having a good time hanging out with Melissa, as she chilled with her ultra girly fishbowl drink and I gulped down a scotch and water sans scotch. As the night went on I noticed that Mr. Assface was eying me kind of funny. I figured that Amy told him we went out a few times and he just didn’t like me because of that. Whatever, it is a lot more logical than me not liking him for no reason what so ever, he just looked like one of those people I don’t like.
I am not quite sure what set him off. If I recall correctly he was attempting to be funny unsuccessfully so I poked a bit of fun at him. Nothing mean, and I can be quite mean if I desire, just a lighthearted slightly insulting comment or two. The next thing I know Mr. Assface is standing nose to nose with me (actually he was standing, I was sitting on a barstool, if I had been standing we would have been nose to forehead…he was kinda short) spouting off all manner of obscenities.
Anyway, he was telling me how he was going to kick my ass while his cheerleading section, the douche bag posse, cheered him on. It was actually more funny than it was threatening so I also egged him on a bit, saying “you tell ‘em SteveDave” as I sipped my water. The obvious Mallrat reference eluded him and his henchmen, but Melissa got a good laugh out of it.
So, I am getting a little perturbed by this drunken idiot standing two inches in front of my face so I advised him to listen to his girlfriend (Amy was telling him to stop being an ass) and sit back down and have a drink. Oddly enough he and his friends sat back down and ordered a few more rounds. Now I am not deluded enough to think they were at all intimidated by me, there were four of them and one of me. And even if there was just one of them and one of me I doubt they would be intimidated, I wouldn’t be intimidated by me (although I would kick my ass).
Midnight rolled around and Melissa and I bid Amy adieu. Unfortunately Mr. Assface also had some parting words for me, none of which were very pleasant. By this point I was more than a little fed up. Melissa calmed me down a little bit, and Amy actually was so angry with her beau that she ended up leaving with us. I’m sure Mr. Assface was more than a little miffed when I waved him goodbye while I was walking out with his girlfriend.
Anyway, that was my adventure this weekend. Nothing spectacular really.
