Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Rant: Democratic Candidates

I was in the shower last night pondering the upcoming presidential race, when I came to the realization; I don’t really like any of the Democratic candidates. Let’s start from the bottom of the Democratic ladder with the Reverend Al Sharpton. First off, he is a reverend, and we all know that a Pentecostal reverend has about as much chance of becoming president as forty year old stripper from Des Moines. Also, he may not be racist, but he sure says a lot of derogatory things about white America in general. Why does Sharpton even run for president? If Nader couldn’t win an election Al, you don’t have a chance in hell. Next up is Dennis Kucinich, yes there is a guy named Dennis Kucinich running for office. I went to his website in hopes to figure out where he stood on specific issues. Apparently Dennis Kucinich has gained enough notoriety to be endorsed by none other than actor extraordinaire, Danny Glover. After bypassing the Danny Glover endorsement, I stumbled upon Kucinich’s website, a list of his humorous, condescending remarks aimed at our current President. I immediately bit my knuckle, if I was thirty-five years old I could have run on that same platform! I think I would actually like John Kerry if he wasn’t such a pussy. This guy went to Yale and fought on a gunboat in Nam. He has also has stuck to his guns on several key issues over the years, including voting against Clinton’s Defense of Marriage Act and voted for Barbra Boxer’s 1993 amendment to the militaries Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. Although he seemed capable of standing against Clinton, he seems to cower before Howard Dean and Wes Clark in debates. Maybe he was neutered in the past few years, but I sure as heck know that I don’t want a President that doesn’t have the balls to stand up to an opponent. "We are still the world's capital of freedom, one of the last, best hopes of humankind. We must reach out to these people, not push them away. We must build new bridges, not walls. We must join forces with nations to build a better global community for all, and in so doing isolate the terrorists and the autocrats - not our own beloved nation." That was a Dick Gephardt quote, and apparently that is what he stands for. However, he is very vague about his plans to achieve his ideals, unless he literally plans to build new bridges creating a world super highway. Dick Gephardt reminds me of white rice, with a group of complementing foods he can be quite tasty, lone he lacks the substance and flavor to be considered an entrée. Gephardt’s partner in crime, Joseph Lieberman has taken a unique approach in his campaign. It seems as though Lieberman based his entire campaign around chastising his fellow democrats, I bet he isn’t going to be invited to the democratic father-son picnic this year. Another thing that really bothers me about Lieberman is that he has a precise plan for child care but doesn’t seem to have an existing platform for education. Lieberman also has a reputation for focusing to intently on the small issues. Sure, it may be great that small businesses thrive under a Lieberman presidency, but not at the expense of having 15% of America unemployed. I feel that, being a fellow North Carolinian, I should feel some sort of kinship to John Edwards. I don’t. A lot of hype surrounded Edwards when he announced he was running for president. It was too bad that he didn’t capitalize on it appropriately. The only thing that the public knows about Edwards is that he said "Like many of you, I grew up in a little town in North Carolina,” at a California debate. Sorry Johnny boy, but we already have a president that can be inarticulate at times, there is no point trading him in for a similar model. Of all the Democratic candidates, I like Wes Clark the best. My biggest problem with him is that he scares the ever living shit out of me. Whenever he talks I envision the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket and I feel as if I am going to wet my pants. I actually would be inclined to vote for him if he didn’t constantly chastise the war in Iraq. It almost seems that he degrades Bush and the Iraqi war because the Democratic Party expects him to. My least favorite of all the Democratic candidates is the Doctor himself, Howard “the commie” Dean. First off, Howard Dean is not a communist, I don’t think he is a communist, but I do like the nickname so it is sticking. Dean is commendable because he doesn’t just attack Bush; he attacks the whole political machine. After all he is an outsider looking in, a doctor by trade; so what if he was the governor of Vermont? That doesn’t make him a political insider, does it? Like so many of the other candidates, Dean has tons of incredible abstract ideals but no plan to bring them to fruition. He also seems to have very little respect for his fellow candidates, despite sharing common politics with most of the. I also think that his grimace is attributed to his too tight tie. No offense Howard, but if you are going to roll up the sleeves make sure you loosen your tie. That is my take on the Democratic candidates this year, maybe next rant I will write about my disgust with aspects of Bush’s presidency…that could be quite a long post!

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