Random Thoughts
1. There is talk circulating about elevating Pope John Paul II to Sainthood. Now, I have no desire to belittle the characteristics of a man that lived a fairly virtuous life, but I really don’t think that the former Pope warrants Sainthood. I mean would a Saint turn a blind eye to known acts of pedophilia within his organization just because condemning the acts may damage said organization’s public image? I mean, the only miracle in that situation is that some irate father didn’t figure out away to carpet bomb the Pope-mobile straight to hel…heaven.
2. According to Michael Jackson’s defense attorney everyone that has ever worked at Wako Jacko’s estate is a liar, a thief, or has some vendetta against the now albino African American. Who cares if Jackson anally raped a little boy while making him look at a crumpled up copy of Hustler magazine? I mean the self-proclaimed king of pop is not the one on trial here people!
3. Jackie Chan is releasing several lines of snacks and cookies for the health conscious. I decided to offer my service to the Chanster and proposed two incr-edible (yes, more cheesy puns to follow) slogans.
Jackie Chan cookies, mmmhmm, Chantastic!
And
Jackie Chan cookies, better than a kick to the testicles!
4. Lately I have had this odd idea that I would like to go into a bank completely naked and make a deposit. I would saunter to the teller and put both hands on the counter and say “I want to make a deposit”. When she/he looks at me strangely I would say “oh, yeah, I guess you need money and my ID”. I would then reach at my hip like I am putting my hand in my pocket, then roll my eyes in a typical “you idiot, you don’t have any pockets, you don’t even have PANTS” expression.
At this point I would bend over, out of site of the teller, and grab my ID and money (discreetly taped to the inside of my thigh). Then I would hand it to the teller and relish his/her look as they have to handle my “dirty” money.
