Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Random Thoughts 1. Lately I have been under the impression that John Lennon was Christ incarnate (which I find kind of redundant considering Christ was supposed to be God incarnate). Their philosophies seemed very similar. Both Jesus and Lennon felt that “all we need is love”. Jesus is often depicted with a long flowing hair and beard, John Lennon (at various points in his life) sported long hair and a beard. Both men seemed to shower less than savory women with attention, Jesus had Mary Magdalene, Lennon had Yoko Ono. Jesus was betrayed by his follower; Lennon was shot by a fan. At parties Jesus turned water into wine while John Lennon always carried huge amounts of hashish in his drawers. The similarities are endless. 2. Baseball must be the great American pasttime because no one seems to give a shit about it anymore. 3. There is a rumor circulating that Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz split up after arguing over whether or not Penelope was going to change her last name once they were married. 4. Whenever my coaches used to say “Go out there and give a hundred and ten percent!” I would look at them and reply “What in the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you know it is impossible to give over a hundred percent? You can’t give more effort than you have!” Needless to say, I spent quite a bit of time on the bench. 5. There is only fifteen days left to open an IRA before tax season ends. In other words, launder your money now or you may have to pay taxes on it. 6. Motto of the week: What Would Walt Whitman Do? 7. My grandmother recently bought a computer and connected America Online. I don’t think she quite understands how AIM functions. I IM’ed her a fairly normal message (Hi Granny! It is Charlie, How are you doing) but when she read my screen name she thought I was soliciting business for a mortuary so she blocked my AIM handle… 8. Easter is right around the corner. Oh joy! I love sitting around the dinner table being belittled and put down by family members for hours on end. That is my idea of heaven. 9. Who do you think would win in a fight between Justin Timberlake and Lance Bass? Personally, I would want Lance to win the fight only so I could mimic Dumb and Dumber. “You kicked his ass Lance Bass!” 10. Yeah, that was a lame joke, but what can you do? Or, more appropriately, what would Walt Whitman do?

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