Working on the weekend is not the least bit fun especially after you have acclimated yourself to a normal Monday through Friday job. Then again work is very rarely fun, hence its title: “work”. Anyway, just because I am at work doesn’t necessarily mean I am going to do work. Let’s face it boys and girls and every thing in between (what? you thought I would forget my ever growing transvestite fan group?) I am a lazy person. Oh it is true, it is damn true!
Actually, I am not a lazy person. I tend to accomplish quite a bit more in a day than the average Joe. My problem stems from my inability to focus on a single thought for more than a few brief moments. In other words, I am distracted by shiny objects (silverware has always been a nuisance). At one time I thought I had adult ADD so I went to the doctor to get some medication. Although I would never take medication to alleviate something as trivial as my short attention span, I would definitely sell my prescribed drugs to burn out high school kids for a couple bucks. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you are viewing it from a legal view point), the doctor refused to prescribe me any medication. I blame the government.
Speaking of the government, the United States Presidential election is creeping up on America. I am still undecided about who to vote for in the upcoming election, mainly because I think both candidates suck. However, I recently found myself unable to adequately express why I am unable to reach a decision, so I created the following analogy.
Imagine being stuck in a room full of famished people attempting to decide what to order on a take out pizza. Unfortunately, the room is split between ordering green peppers or anchovies on the pizza, neither of which you find terribly appetizing.
Recently you have eaten way too many green peppers, a vegetable that you didn’t really enjoy before they over saturated your diet. Not only are you sick of the way green peppers taste, but they tend to disagree with your digestive system.
Anchovies, however, have never graced one of your pizza pies. This is mainly due to the fact that you find slimy, canned fish to be a horrible addition to a cheesy tomato and dough filled meal. Sure, several of your friends sing the praises of the salty fish, but they are all friends that ingest odd types of tofu based food and rave about the smoothness of bean curd paste.
What you really want on your pizza is sausage, a spicy meat that is sure to appease everybody’s palate. However, the only pizza place that is open either doesn’t offer sausage or does not advertise the fact that they provide sausage as pizza topping.
So when it comes time to vote on which topping the group is going to end up ordering, you don’t raise your hand. After all, you are just going to pick the shit off when you get your slice of the pizza.
And that is my thoughts on this year’s election.
I just bought a Butterfinger from the vending machine downstairs. As I was opening the wrapper I noticed that they are running a contest wherein a winner will be able to go on tour with Simple Plan. So I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers and slowly unwrapped the candy bar, gently tearing so I wouldn’t rip the cover. I opened my eyes and to my good fortune I found that I had not won the contest. Thank goodness I don’t have to listen to that shitty band day in and day out.
Oh well, that is it for today.
