Wednesday, September 8, 2004

   alright, everyone and anyone who likes FFVII will liike this story!!! it is one of my favorite FFVII fanfics i've read, enjoy ^_^

This story stars EVERYONE, that being Cloud, Tifa, Aerith, Barret,
Yuffie, Cait Sith, Red 13, Vincent, and Cid. Um ,and Sepiroth.
(drools) Well, okay. I think that's everyone then. Oh, and I refer to
*Aeris as *Aerith, because I've heard rumors that her name was
mistranslated, plus Aerith really does sound cooler. So Yay! Enjoy!

Oh, and I don't own any of these characters blah blah blah.

The group, Avalanche, trudges up a mountainside in silence. Cloud and
Cid walked side by side, looking pissed. Tifa walked along side Barret
and Yuffie, who was having a fit of giggles. Aerith followed closely
behind them, with a pleasant, dazed look upon her face. Vincent strode
along in the back with Cait Sith and Red 13 at either side.

They had just left Nibleheim hours early.

(Hours Earlier, in the Shinra Mansion)

Yuffie: Cloud, have you ever kissed a girl? (All stare at her, then
turn their eyes to Cloud.)

Cloud: Why do you want to know that?

Tifa: Yeah, really Yuffie. We're on a mission.

Yuffie: I'm just curious. (pause) Have you ever kissed Tifa? (Tifa and
Cloud blush)

Aerith: Ooohh, I think we have lovebirds in the group.

Cait Sith: Yeah, we'll have to watch them, make sure they behave!
(Tifa stops blushing.)

Tifa: I've never kissed Cloud.

Barret: Aren't we supposed to be doing something important?

Red 13: Yeah, like saving the world?

Aerith: That can wait just a bit. Now I'm curious.

Yuffie: Have you ever kissed anyone?

Cloud: Yes! A couple of weeks ago, okay? Now let's get back to what's
important.

Vincent: Yeah, we really should - (he pauses and looks at Cloud) wait
a minute, that's when we were at the Golden Saucer, right? (Sweat drop
appears over Cloud's head)

Cloud: Yeah, so? (All look at him)

Vincent: Who did you kiss then? (He looks to the girls)

Tifa: I was with Barret and Vincent.

Yuffie: I was with Red 13.

Aerith: We hung out for a bit, but then I left and was with Cait Sith.
And nothing happened. (All eyes shift to Cid.)

Cid: Hey, I was drunk. All I remember was flirting with this real
pretty blonde girl. (Cloud takes a step back.) Yeah, I made out with
her, but not Cloud. You sickos.

Cloud: Oh God, I was drunk too. I swear I thought I was with Tifa.
(All eyes open wide.) Well, she was really strong! She even picked -

Cid: You up and laid you on a bed? (Cloud and Cid look at each other
in horror.)

Cloud and Cid: Oh God, what've we done?! (They turn and vomit.)

Tifa: Well, um, this is awkward. (Yuffie starts to giggle.)

Barret: I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear any of that just now.

Yuffie: Hee hee hee! Cid and Cloud, sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G!

Cait Sith: Well, they were intoxicated. They didn't know any better.

Vincent: Okay, let's just go, now.

All leave the Mansion and head towards the mountains, with Yuffie
giggling.

(Flash forward - somewhere on the mountains.)

Sephiroth: (Drops Jenova down.) God, you're heavy! What the hell was I
thinking, bringing you?

He sits on a rock and looks around.

Sephiroth: Man, I'm bored. This bad guy shit sucks. I need something
to kill some time.
Sephiroth starts to tap his fingers on his knee. He looks at his
surroundings again, eyeing ever detail carefully. When he has decided
that he is alone, (exception to Jenova,) he closes his eyes and
tilting his head back, he begins to hum a tune. Sephiroth's foot
starts to tap now.

Sephiroth: Hm, hm, hmm. (He stands up and stretches, looks around
again.) You put the lime in the coconut and drink them both together.
Da da da, hmm, la la. (His voice is high pitched for this part, and
this part only!) I said doctor! Hey! Doctor!

He turned to Jenova, and started to dance.

Sephiroth: (Pointing at her, err, it, or whatever.) You put the lime
in the coconut and drink them both together, put the lime in the
coconut, then you'll feel better!

(Elsewhere, in the mountains.)

Yuffie: Why does Sephiroth have to go the hard ways?

Cait Sith: Do you think you could shut your trap for a second?!

Yuffie: Why you little!

She grabs Cait Sith be the neck and starts to shake him, with the Mog
holding tightly to his feet.

Cait Sith: Help! Cough, gulh, ack, Oh God help me!

Cloud rushes over and saves him from Yuffie.

Cloud: Will you two stop arguing! You've already caused enough
trouble. (Eyes Yuffie.)

Aerith: (Gasping.) Do you hear that?! (Everyone looks at her.)

Red 13: What is it?

Tifa: Can you hear the Ancients?

Aerith: Yes! They're calling! (She drops to the ground.)

Cloud: What are they saying?

Aerith: We have to put something in a, in a, coco bean? No wait,
something for a doctor?

Aerith stands up, looking puzzled. All eyes are on her as she takes a
few steps and stops. She turns to a hill and rushes towards.
Aerith: The Ancients are this way, come on!

Everyone rushes up the hill, Aerith in their lead. They all abruptly
stop at the top, and their jaws drop. Sephiroth is waving his arms in
an odd fashion. He has gone back to his high-pitched singing; his back
is to the group.

Sephiroth: I said yeah ah ah! Is there nothing I can take? I said
doctor, to relieve this bellyache? Oh whoa ah ho! Hey! (He spins
around.) You put the. (His eyes fall on the group before him, he loses
the high pitch.) Lime, in the coco, nut.

Sephiroth's arms fall to his sides as a neon sign flashes AWKWARD
above his head.

Sephiroth: Oh fuck.

He slowly backs towards Jenova, and picks the thing up over his
shoulder. Sephiroth stares at the group, edging his way out of sight.
When he is gone, Cloud looks to the ground.

Cloud: This really isn't my day.

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