Tuesday, December 25, 2007

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

My life
My life lately has just totally SUCKED. Ian dumped me. Someone had paid him to ask me. I figured out that still I'm madly in love with the same person I was for 3 years. But he has a beautiful girlfriend and so I'm still left in the dust. We've been friends since we were six. We've been in a band together for over a year. He always tells me that I have such a great singing voice. But I wish he would tell me that he loves me as much as I love him. And of course, how stupid am I to think that we would? He's my friend. That's all we'll ever be, sadly enough. Friends and bandmates. So as I struggle with this stupid medical condtion, try to fake a smile daily and move through it, I'll remember that there is always someone that loves me regardless of what I may say, do, or feel. But the thing is, I won't see him until I die. And I miss him more than anything. So for the time being I'm just that girl with the heart that isn't even in her. I gave my heart, my soul, and my feelings to someone and he doesn't even know it. All I've learned from it this far is that I've more that likely wasted every feeling I have. I'm numb right now. I'm so scared that one day while I'm talking to him everything will just slip and he'll know for sure. I've tried my hardest for years to hide it but it isn't working anymore! I don't know what I'm supposed to do. My heart and my brain are saying the same thing and I still don't have a clue on what I'm supposed to do! And I know whoever may be sitting there at their computer, reading this may think, "She's 13. She doesn't know what love is." Oh, but I do. I do. Love is when there's that one guy who's always been able to make you laugh, even in your worst state of depression. Love is when you want to care for andd protect somebody more than anything. Love is when you want to have a life with him. So if anybody read this, I need advice. Pronto.

As Always,
Girl with the Broken Heart in his hands.
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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Reason
He's the reason.
He's the reason that I cry myself to sleep at night.
He's the reason whenever I'm asked out by someone, I turn them down because I'm waiting for him to notice me.
He's the reason that I'm always so quiet when it comes to love.
He's the reason that I daydream constantly.
He's the reason that I can't even focus on a test long enough to answer one question, because I'm watching how he does it so perfectly.
He's the reason that I wear a "True Love Waits" ring, but not for virginity.
He's the reason all the songs I write are about that guy who just won't notice me.
He's the reason I'm not yet dead.
He's the reason that everytime I hear someone say "JD" my heart breaks, and I cry.
He's the reason that I try to be what I'm not.

(c) 2007
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Monday, June 18, 2007

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Myspace Layouts

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Myspace Layouts

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