myOtaku.com: hexisxthexreason

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1988-04-01
Gender
• Female
Location
• Longingness, USA.
Member Since
• 2007-06-18
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Rachel

Personal

Achievements
• Um... One of my books is in the process of being published.
Anime Fan Since
• Ever
Favorite Anime
• Yotsuba
Goals
• To find a man that loves me for who I am, and notices me.
Hobbies
• Writing, music.
Talents
• Writting, music.

myOtaku.com: hexisxthexreason

Thursday, July 12, 2007

My life
My life lately has just totally SUCKED. Ian dumped me. Someone had paid him to ask me. I figured out that still I'm madly in love with the same person I was for 3 years. But he has a beautiful girlfriend and so I'm still left in the dust. We've been friends since we were six. We've been in a band together for over a year. He always tells me that I have such a great singing voice. But I wish he would tell me that he loves me as much as I love him. And of course, how stupid am I to think that we would? He's my friend. That's all we'll ever be, sadly enough. Friends and bandmates. So as I struggle with this stupid medical condtion, try to fake a smile daily and move through it, I'll remember that there is always someone that loves me regardless of what I may say, do, or feel. But the thing is, I won't see him until I die. And I miss him more than anything. So for the time being I'm just that girl with the heart that isn't even in her. I gave my heart, my soul, and my feelings to someone and he doesn't even know it. All I've learned from it this far is that I've more that likely wasted every feeling I have. I'm numb right now. I'm so scared that one day while I'm talking to him everything will just slip and he'll know for sure. I've tried my hardest for years to hide it but it isn't working anymore! I don't know what I'm supposed to do. My heart and my brain are saying the same thing and I still don't have a clue on what I'm supposed to do! And I know whoever may be sitting there at their computer, reading this may think, "She's 13. She doesn't know what love is." Oh, but I do. I do. Love is when there's that one guy who's always been able to make you laugh, even in your worst state of depression. Love is when you want to care for andd protect somebody more than anything. Love is when you want to have a life with him. So if anybody read this, I need advice. Pronto.

As Always,
Girl with the Broken Heart in his hands.
Comments (3)

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