Wednesday, June 1, 2005

   uh hey there
haven't posted in a while, there's a reason for it... my stupid dad is making my life bad but i try not to let it get to me. I'm glad I have people to talk to about it though, and that will give advice. Thanks for one person I can recognize here and that would be Nagona. He imed me and we talked for a long while about it, and I am happy we did. So thanks. You really helped me out, and even though you may have not said enough or to much in your point of view, I was just glad I could have someone to talk to. So yeah, now there are rumors being spread about me in school saying I gave my boyfriend AIDs cause he hasn't been in school ,so now some people are calling me a whore or some shit like that... it really gets to me sometimes but.. .what can I do about rumors? No one ever listens to the truth... SO yeah ... I also caught up with an old friend. And I'm glad I did. It feels good to talk to him again. If your reading this.. *cough cough* you know who you are. ^.^ ..pretty much it. Thanks for those who still read this though lol. See ya all later.
~Hikari~
Comments (4) | Permalink

Friday, May 20, 2005

   Hey
I know no one reads these anyway... but hey what the heck. Life is being unfair to me at the moment. *Sigh* But I don't care. I know I'll get through it. I always manage to anyways... so yeah. I don't know why, but it seems that whenever life is going good, it halts... very abrubtly. And a chain of bad things always follows. Well that's what happens to me anyway. I have been getting in fights with other people... *cough parents cough* and some girls from school. But most of all it looks like I my b\f wants me to fight some girl that, well yeah, she does piss me off, but I wouldn't do it unless I had to. And also his friends don't like me and are saying shit about me, so hes not friends with them anymore. I mean, thanks I love the devotion... but then later he'll send me on guilt trips about it. Saying things like, "Well cause of you I have less friends. And I don't go to boxing anymore either." It's not fair to me. Of course I sit there and take it. I mean it is true... but what can I do? I told him to not worry about me, and stay with his friends, so how is that my fault? I don't know, but he likes to see me frown sometimes I guess. W\e. He says he loves me so I guess I'll just have to go with it, cause I love him to. Just I don't love what he does to me sometimes. Also, two days ago, my brother slammed me into a wall and put his hands around my throat and started choking me. Wow what a day that was. There was three wittnesses to that whole violent scene.. but when I told my dad, he said I was lying... so I got grounded for lying... what kind of shit is that?? And I told him that the people who saw it would tell him what happened, but he says they'll just lie for me. So yeah... peoples are mean. But you just gotta deal with it sometimes. Cause theres nothing else you can really do. I have a headache, and today didn't r eally fo that well... especially when someone sparayed axe all over me.... really don't appriciate that kind of shit. So yeah whatever. See you all later. (For those that still read this.. which is nobody anyway) have a nice day, ghost readers.
~Hikari~
Comments (5) | Permalink

Friday, May 13, 2005

   HEY HEY HEY
Hey everybody, sorry I haven't posted in a while. But only one person seemed to care\notice that I even wasn't posting... and that was Nagona, so thank you. *Sigh* Anyways, I have been grounded, and that was one reason... another was, that I spend every waking minute with my boyfriend. Seriously, no one has ever been this devoted to seeing me happy, or spending time with me. He follows me home everyday, and makes me happy every day. He's really the greatest. Some things have been floating around. (Like he's only going out with me cause of a bet) But I confronted him on it and he assured me it was a lie, and won't talk to his freinds anymore because they told me that. IS THAT DEVOTION OR WHAT?! Anyways, things seem to be going ok... except for my dad... PM me if you want me to go into detail about it. It's really not info that should be publically posted. Anyways.... see ya all later, since that's all that's happened since I was gone. I'll try not to stay away for too long. Lol. See ya all later.
~Miyabita Mitsukai~
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, May 5, 2005

   YAY!!!
LIFE continues to look GOOD! YAY!! I had my first kiss with my new boyfriend today!!!!!! HE IS SOOOOOO CUTE AND SEXY!!!!!! And more friends to pop up all over the place! Just three shoutouts here,
HEY TOO...
DAN
KOJICHAN
NOGANA
you guys are awesome!!! See ya all later
~Hikari~
Comments (3) | Permalink

Monday, May 2, 2005

   HEY HEY HEY!!!!
Life is looking good!!!!!! I am so happy dancing to my crazy Vertigo music! I think I should change it and I have a lot of music URLS someone help me!! What should I change it too???? ANyways, LIFE HAS BEEN VERY NICE TO ME LATELY!!!! Freinds I didn't even know I had are popping up all over the place, and every guy on the block is asking me out, but it's all been since I dyed my hair blonde again. Cause I'm not really me unless I'm blonde lol. SO I went on a date with this sexy guy named Dan...get this, blonde hair blue eyes!! OMG he's soooo sweet he kept wanting to buy me stuff! AWWWWW He's soooo adorable! ANd we ran into a couple of my other friends, and then messed around with random people when we got bored! That's always fun! He made me give him back his ID, which I stole in the first place lol.... *looks around innocently* so what else??? Um.....HELLO EVERYONE!! I'M SOOO HYPER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL so yeah, someone comment, talk to me! IM me!! SOMETHING!!!!!!! GAAAAHHH!!!!!! I love you all!! (In a totally plutonic way that is)
~Hikari~
OMG MY QUIZ SERIES IS BLOSOMING! I EVEN STARTED UP ALL MY OLD ONES AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY!!! YAY!!!!!
Comments (4) | Permalink

Thursday, April 28, 2005

   Eh
I dunno....nothing of great importance really happened today....my therapist continues to piss me off, and uh...I sparred with my neighbor again (swordsfighting that is) and uh, played the guitar with him today, and thats really all there was to my day..i think...uh I got close with a kid I like, and stole his ID card lol...and got dry humped by another kid, who's so so in the liking department...so I had fun..sort of.

~Hikari~
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

   I HEART YOU NAGONA!!!
Nagona's comment was very true, and I'm glad he said it!!!! It's the truest thing that someone could say, it doesn't take two to break up a relationship...RYAN LISTEN, you said you couldn't deal with my problems and so you brok up with me...YOU COULDNT HANDLE...thats your fault is it not?? I wanted to stay in, you didnt thats not two thats one! YOUR BAD AT MATH?? HELL YEAH!!!! Anyways, I thought I would point that out, thank you Nagona for that, you've put me in a very good mood now. I'm happy other people see what I'm trying to say. ANYWAYS, we put makeup on my next door neighbor, a 16 year old guy that goes to my school...lol he looked so PWETTY!! Lol and susie lost her glasses...STAY OFF THE ROAD!!!! See ya all laters
!!!!I HEART YOU NAGONA!!!!
~Hikari~
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

   GRAWR
I hate Ryan!He never talks about anything, he always avoids everything! WHY?!?!?!?!?! He makes no sense! Why can't he stop taking the pussies way out and actually be the man that god intended him to be! WHY?!?!?!?!? GRRRRR just stop dodging and answer a freakin question once in a goddamn while! ...oh and stop lying about everything, cause that's another one of hil litte traits when he knows that your right and have just prooved him wrong, he immidiatly avoid the subject! GRAWR

~Hikari~
Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, April 25, 2005

   *Sigh*
Sorry I haven't been updating in a while, LIKE ANYONE READS THESE ANYWAYS!!!...ok maybe there are a few people.. but anyways... the breakup has devistated me that's all. I used to see the light, and have something to hold onto...now I don't. SO I fight back with my father, and I get "punished" for it...if you all know what I mean...and I do things I shuldn't but why should I stop? I used to have a place to run to...now I don't. I either have to die, or live here. Before I had..HIM to rely on, to go there. Now I don't, what am I supposed to do? My theripist says I'm a generally angry person because of my life...DAMN STRAIGHT I didn't used to be, but what choice do I have now? It's be tough, or break down. I've had a break down, there not fun... and I had one because of him, and he doesn't even care. Life sucks? Yes it does, but people have there own problems and I don't expect them to help me out. I'm the only one who can help me out, and it took a certain SOMEONE to teach me I can't rely on anyone for jack. Because in the end it only causes more hurt. Oh you have the perfect relationship...yeah we all think that...I did anyway, look where it got me........is death the only option? It wasn't before, but now that he doesn't even want to talk to me, AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID...it sure as hell looks like it...he called my love, unseen...blind much? It hurts to talk about it because I still love him, but there's no chance of a coming back.....I bet he even ripped up my picture...
~Hikari~
Comments (3) | Permalink

Friday, April 22, 2005

   Hmmmm
Last night consisted of lots of cring on my part...I'm not sure what Ryan was doing. Lots of people have told me they think I'm being put through emotional stress from him on purpose, like I'm his puppet or something. But I don't care what other people say, he doesn't want drama anymore, so that means the thing about being open with eachother has to stop...because wheather he realizes it or not life is drama, mine mostly. So there's nothing I can do to stop it, until I leave. I still feel sad, because no I have to exclude him on almost every level of my life. But if he's happy...that's all I can ask for.....
~Hikari~
Comments (1) | Permalink