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• All Japanese was self taught.
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myOtaku.com: Hiso-chan


Saturday, August 7, 2004

Soru (warped)
I've had a trying time the past few days or so it would seem.
A few days ago I was nothing but depressed, then I was told for two days strait that I was worthless and blah blah blah, like I usually get. Then last night my father got drunk.
At first my sister had come to me and asked for my help to get him to drink water because he was refusing. So I did, it took an hour of listening to him interacting with him to make sure he knew that I meant no harm (he gets over defensive and depressed when ever he drinks). Then an other half hour to finally get him to drink the water. After that I thought I could finally relax, but NO! My sister comes running back and says, "(insert my name here)!! Dad's throwing things!" So I run off to help. By the time I made it there he was already in his room brooding and still drinking. I went in, just me and him and I listened as he wailed, cried, screamed, threw his fists around the air. I didn't flinch even though several times he looked like he was about to strick out at me. It took a few hours to calm him down then he talked with my mother and got upset again and it took another hour or so to calm him down enough for me and my sister to talk sense into him.

To day I don't want to talk to him. Is that wrong of me?
I just want to be by myself for a little bit, be away from him, my mother, my sisters and my brothers. Is that warped of me?
I keep trying to love them, to accept every thing they do and try to offer what little wisdom I have gained through out life. Is that cowardice of me?
I don't know...

Please let the winter's snow come soon... Okita-san... I'm tired...
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