Sunday, March 6, 2005

.......
Before I start off I just wanted to say to Baka No Hanyou, that was an awesome poem you wrote in the comments of my last post. I really enjoyed it.

Now then, down to business.

Two days ago I was cleaning in the kitchen, after cleaning the whole house. I kept to myself and said nothing as I listened to my siblings. My eldest sister, whom I had thought that I could trust, was joking with my brothers about how "evil" I was. They kept this up for over a few hours. I still fail to see how I'm evil... I care for them even though I have every right to loathe the fact they are breathing, I encourage them. Sure I can pushy at times but they don't listen to what I say until I shout, so I end up yelling alot. I'm strict with my animals. I want to keep my black cat inside because he's got a bad leg (it healed wrong so now every once in a while it'll give on him). I don't let my dog rough house and I'd perfur it if the back door wasn't open all the time for my cat and dog to run outside and get into trouble. If that's what it means to be evil then I must be the devil's mother or something.

*rests head in hand* So, that night I was keeping Dustin quiet (horrible sister's fiancee if I haven't mentioned). He was cussing and shouting over a game because my little brother was beating him. I managed to keep him quiet for a little bit but then he just shouted out to me, "Why don't you just learn to keep your mouth shut? Nobody listens to you anyway." I felt a part of me shrink back a that, most of me just wanted to grab him by his bald head and throw him out side, the rest of me (which was the large part) just ignored him and went about its merry way. But he's right you know? No body here listens to me except for Jaime and I think she's finally seeing how much people are screwing me over now that she's living with me. Like how I was supposed to be paid for all my damn work over two weeks ago and I got nothing but two comic books. Jaime gave me an extra twenty that I gave to my parents because now they have three car payments to take care of.

On the brighter side... I woke up like crazy early today, around... 11pm and I've been up since. My little brother it up at night most of the time and I came up shaking and shivering even though I'm wrapped up in warm clothing. You see, that coldness hasn't gone yet, it's still there clinging on as long as it can. I didn't ask him anything I just sat down behind him and said that it was a bit cold. He quickly got up and went to the closet and said, "There are a lot of blankets here, or I have a sleeping bag in my room." I didn't say anything because at the time I didn't hear him all the way, I was still sleepy. And he grabbed a blanket and tossed it at me. It was... nice to have him do that.

Out of everyone in my family, my brothers are the ones that I truly care for. I mean like... well I'd lay my life on the line for them while for the others I'd most likely try but not hard enough if you get me. You see, even though they may call me evil and stuff my brothers are the only ones that don't hide things from me. They don't tell me two-faced lies about how they care and then start joking around with their buddies using me as the butt of their jokes. They're straight forward... Maybe that's why I hate women so much, I just have too many sisters with too many issues. Don't get me wrong, I LOATHE the female species, but there are few girls out there that I can stand and be friends with like Jaime for instence...

*sighs* Well, I'm going to go now. I get to hang with my mother as she meets with her work group for school, she's pressing me to meet this Japanese guy named Shun. I'm a bit worked up because she says he's cute and I really really REALLY like the name Shun. I hope I don't make a fool out of myself and can be his friend.
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