Monday, May 23, 2005

From Far Away
Every had one of those days where you feel like you're out of place? Everything around you is just stagnant or foreign. All you wish to do is what is pulling at you from deep with in but you don't know what that something is.

I'm not sure if you have had that feeling before but I have had it all my life. I think I want to travel, because there are times where I'll just walk and walk and walk and I have no where to go so I just keep on walking until I finially decide to turn back and go home. I've actually bloodied up my feet doing this because I wouldn't stop until I was home. A lot of times I have dreams, and these are the most frequent, where I'm putting stuff in a cloth sack (a nap-sack?) and I throw it over my shoulder then just leave. In these dreams I keep on walking through vast fields, rolling hills, and a few forests. The forests I don't remember much but I do remember that the trees had very thick trunks. The roots arche out of the ground and then plung back in. Moss is thick and warm in the patches of sun light and everything seem to be spaced with little to no bramble, bushes, and what-nots. What I remember the most from these dreams are the fields. The fields are so pretty and have such a wounderful smell to them. The weeds don't stick into your clothing as badly as they do around where I live. Green and gold plants mix together. But the odd part is that no matter how much I think back to these dreams I have never seen an animal or another person, except for one. It's a man and all I see is his back and he's far away and I'm running up to him. All he does is wait for me... I think he's waiting for me.
Anyway, those are my most relaxing dreams. They fill me full of motivation too.

Tonight I had that dream again (yes it's like crazy early in the morning right now and I can't get back to sleep) so I decided to get up and do some stuff. I ended up registering for summer school. Hopefully I can get my English 101 out of the way if all goes well. Also, I plan on taking an art class. People keep on telling me I should do something with my art (been actually threatened with boldily harm by a former High School teacher and a former Employer if I didn't make something out of myself art wise) and I know the college I go to offers art classes so I'm gonna give it a shot. Maybe I'll be able to learn how to draw comics in the near furture. That'd be cool, I've got like a billion ideas for original comics that I believe a lot of people would enjoy.

On another note, I'm really worried about my boyfriend. He's sick and the only reason why I'm getting a churning stomach is because he hasn't been on online (he lives in Canada I live in the US) for a long time and I got a message from him saying he was doing okay but got a but more sick. So, yeah, I know I shouldn't worry so much but here's the catch: he'll never go to the doctor. I'm serious, I've never heard him ever going to the doctor until someone, most-likely his parents, drags him to one, and that's like a rarity. So, uuuugh, ulcer.

BUT! I'm not going to let that keep me down. I know he'll pull through because... well he's Neiko, he can do anything. So I'm gonna consintrate on school, kick my GPA up and then attend Summer School.

Yeah,
I can do this.
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