Friday, April 14, 2006

On a Wire ~
It's been a really long time since I've left myO. I've tried other placed for an online journal and none of them seemed as sastifactory as this one.

So how as life been treating me? Let's put it this way...

I've found my dead friend, Ben. Got an online boyfriend who dumped me because he was terrified of meeting me face to face, mother started a business that flopped, Halloween was ruined because my bitch of a sister just HAD to take my idea of getting married on Halloween and used my party as a reception with out asking, got stabbed in the back about three times from people not worth my time nor mentioning. A friend of mine has distanced herself so far that I'm woundering when I'll see her next that's if I ever see her again. I dropped out of school again in a mad hurry to find a job because people were complaining about not having enough money to pay bills and then I find out that it's okay for some stupid reason and I shouldn't have left school in the frist place. I've been cutting myself more often now due to depression and the need to continue the cycle of abuse that I've been living through. Got two new roommates and both have no clue as to what a bath is let alone soap and water. I now have to go over to a friend's house in order to get a decent amount of sleep and I've had a sore - scratchy throat for over two weeks now and it's not getting any better.

I feel so stressed out that I'm not wanting to leave my room for anything, let alone find a job. I feel so pressured to do things that I shouldn't have to do... I'm so tired, but I keep on walking down this damn path while trying to figure out how to make things better. Wounder if I'll ever find a way.

I'm hoping to find a boy friend soon, someone I can actually touch and not just chat to over the net. Bah, but before I do that I need to drop some weight, I may look WAY thinner than I am, but I want to be fit, not just slim. Ya know? I want to be able to do things like join kendo clubs and stuff like that. I also need to crack down on my language, I'm starting to loose some of my vocabulary, that sucks. Anyway, that's it for now. Later High-Jackers.
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